I have one niece and she lives out of state. She visits here twice a year and someone from here visits her and her family about twice per year. In the meantime, we email and talk on the phone. Most of those conversations are centered around what we will do when we see each other next. We had one such conversation yesterday.
She called as I was updating my blog. She asked what I was doing and I told her. She was quite interested in my blog. But, before I relay the specifics of the conversation, I must relay a conversation we had about 7 years ago.
N (my niece) had just turned three. She and her mother and brother had come to visit for a week that summer. I went to the airport to pick them up. I was wearing a lovely outfit made by my mother. I remember it well because my mother had made my niece an outfit using the same fabric. It was red and had silver sparkles in it. We loved our 'matching' outfits. I also remember it because it was probably the largest outfit I had. I knew when it began to get tight, I was in trouble because I had no other clothes to go up to. It was on the way to my mom's from the airport when she said:
"KK, why are you so fat"
I responded, "I'm not fat, I'm just..." I was searching for the right word like fluffy or cushy, even though I new I was fat. But before I found the right word, she said:
"Yes, you are! Look right there" pointing at my stomach.
I don't remember exactly what I said next, but it was something along the lines of, "I'm just fat."
Fast forward 7 years to yesterday. She asked what my blog was about and I told her it was about losing weight. That conversation went something like this:
N "Why are you doing a blog about weight loss?"
Me: "Haven't you noticed that I'm not as fat as I used to be?"
N: with great drama in her voice "KK, you were never fat! Don't say things like that!"
Go figure! I think both perspectives are true. The first definitely was. The second, I think as she matured, she loved me for me and stopped noticing the big belly I was carrying around. Now it is gone, never to return. Unless she sees pictures from those days, she'll completely forget my body and only remember the good times.
2 weeks ago