According to the BMI charts, I move from the obese category to the overweight category at 175.5. Over the last few weeks and months, I have gone up and down the 170's on the scales more times than I care to count. If I'd gone straight down rather than down & up. I'd be at my goal now. I'm trying to learn a lesson from my trips up and down the 170's. I want to learn this lesson well, so I can move on to the next one. I am learning that the obese/overweight category isn't the only thing that changes about half way through the 170's. I have a major mind shift as well.
When my weight is over 175.5, I feel:
- bloated and floppy.
- like I'm not in control.
- like it is a horribly long way to goal.
- my skin is strange. I have an unusual pallor and I get breakouts.
- my clothes are too tight. I search for the *fat* clothes when dressing.
- angry with myself.
- like a failure.
- much like I did at 254.4.
When my weight is below 175.5, I feel:
- in control of my life.
- that goal weight is in easy reach.
Right now, I am still over 175.5. I am obese and feeling all of those feelings and a few more that I can't quite articulate. I've got pimples on my chin and I'm wearing a skirt with elastic in the waist so that I can breath. Those feelings aren't worth any cookie, candy or cake. Yet I continue to succumb time and time again.
But I am fighting. I am fighting with everything I have not to chuck it all and start fresh January 1. I am going to say 'no' to the goodies. I am determined to end 2011 overweight and NOT obese. If I slip up and have a treat, I'll pick myself up, dust myself off and move on. There is no time for berating myself. It is time to move forward. There are 11 days left this year. I'm going to make the most of them!