Phase Two

Today is my first day of intermittent fasting.  I decided on an eating time of 11:00 am to 7:00 pm.  I also decided to focus on protein and vegetables, with minimal carbs, mostly from fruit.  It all seems so reasonable.  It seems so simple, so easy until 11:00 this morning.

I decided to treat myself to bacon as my protein this morning.  I decided that a few days ago.  It fits within the guidelines I decided upon, except it is not really the healthiest protein.  It is protein and not carb, so that is good and I felt like I needed a treat.

I should stop here and add that within the eating time frame, I want to eat between 1200-1500 calories based on my metabolic reading earlier this week.  But, I also decided that I needed a little brain break from counting calories and measuring food.  I don't want to fall back down that rabbit hole of good food vs bad food and guilt over straying from tight restrictions.  So, between now and Monday, I'll eat between 11:00 and 7:00 within the earlier guidelines but let satiety be my measure rather than a calorie count.

So, I got out the bacon this morning and proceeded to cook the whole pound.  I do that because I hate to cook bacon and I'd rather just cook it all and have it on hand for later.  While I was cooking, I looked at the calorie count - about 45 calories per slice.  A serving was two (what??) slices or 90 calories.  Then I thought about the sodium and how only two measly slices would likely cause a major jump in body weight.

I stood in the kitchen HUNGRY with bacon and I was afraid to eat it.  I am scared, truly fearful of runaway regain.  It has happened before. The odds are truly stacked against keeping weight off.  And, I really need to lose a lot more weight to get into a healthier weight.  So, what was I to do?  Eat the bacon?  Yes.  I did.

I decided that I could not be ruled by fear.  Respect for what and how much food I eat is great, and I want to cultivate that.  I want to make good choices about what I eat, but I spent too much time in that place where I felt like I was a bad person because of the food choices I made.  I will not live there again.

I ate only bacon this morning.  I have drunk a lot of water because I have been quite thirsty.  Hello, sodium!  It is now 3:30 and I've not become hungry.  I'm going with it.  I'm preparing supper because I think I will be hungry for it later.  I will eat until I feel satisfied.  I will stop and wait for 11:00 tomorrow to eat again.  I can do this.

Some stats for anyone interested and not triggered by numbers:  I lost exactly 25 pounds and 39.5 inches.  I lost 3.75 inches from my waist and a full 8 inches off my hips!  I measured everywhere, arms, legs, ribcage, etc to make up the total lost.

The End is Near!!

I will run out of hCG this week.  After the last injection, I will need to continue to eat on plan for two more days.  Folks. let me just say this has been hard.  It seems to have gotten harder.  I never really got over the hunger, and then the scales were so fickle.  I could have endured the hunger better if I was getting 'rewarded' with a lower figure on the scales.

As hard as it has been, those last two days will be the worst.  Knowing that in mere hours, I can have a larger portions and not get hungry so quickly, makes it super hard.  I'll do it because I know those are the last two days I have to drop significant weight.  

I am not going to hit the number I wanted to do another round.  I struggled some with that when I realized it wasn't going to happen.  As I explored other eating options, I realized it was a good thing to take a break.  I was beginning to develop the good food vs bad food mentality again.  Even though I plan to keep sugar intake to a minimum, I will not be militant about it.  

My birthday is coming up and I know I will eat cake.  I will enjoy it as I celebrate another year with my family, who love me no matter what size my belly is!  

I decided the best way of eating that allows all food, even sugar, guilt free is intermittent fasting.  I'll start with that as soon as the hCG is gone.  I'm going to start with an 8 hour window for eating.  In that time, I'll focus mostly on whole, healthy foods.  I get beef locally from a rancher, and it is grass fed organic and my garden this year has provided enough vegetables to can/freeze.  I feel prepared for this to start at the end of the week.

Just to update from my last post about the clothes I ordered.  I went back and ordered my current size when I saw there were no returns since the clothes were personalized. And, they were all too small!!!  One top was so small, I could hardly get it on.  I am disappointed, but I am trying to use this as motivation to keep going.  They are really cute clothes!!

A Quick Hello

Friends, I think about blogging almost every day and some days several times.  Something will happen that I think will make a good post or a funny post,  However the last few weeks, life has been a little bit frantic.  School starts tomorrow, and I think life will slip back into a more predictable pattern.  Time will tell.

I just wanted to drop in and share a bit of those blog posts I've thought about, but in bullet points rather than whole posts.

*The scales continue to confound me.  I stay on plan 100% and yet they fluctuate.  After having two apple days,  I decided I would just stay on plan and see what happens.  Overall the trend is down so that is what matters.

*65MD and I went shopping one day for some new clothes for him.  This would be a funny post if I had time to really share.  We have been married nearly 20 years and have only been clothes shopping together for him maybe 5 times.  There is a reason!  Anyway, he found some things he wanted but they didn't have his size in stock in the store, so we ordered  them online when we got home.  When I say "we" I mean me.  As I was looking through the site, I found a really cute dress, and I ordered it a size smaller than I usually wear.  It was a risk since it was a summer dress and if it was too small now, it would probably be too large next summer.  It fit!!

*I ordered some more clothes that I expect to arrive tomorrow in that new smaller size.  This is a new place, so there is the risk that their clothes sizes are a little different.  I'll find out tomorrow.

*Only two more weeks left of injections.  I have a number in mind I'd like to see on the scale at the end.  Not so much as a goal weight, but as a marker of 'has this been worth it?'  This time I feel like I have struggled more.  If I see that number, I'll do another round of injections in October.  If not, I'll do something else.

*Between the end of the injections and the potential restart in October, we will celebrate my birthday, 65MD's birthday, our 20th anniversary and take a trip to Asheville, NC for a conference for 65MD.  Wait!  What was I saying about getting into a pattern?