Total Weight Loss

Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Day Trip

J-boy and I took a day trip yesterday to see some of his 'people'.  They are nearly 4 hours away by car, so nearly 8 hours just going & coming keeps us from visiting as much as any of us would like.  So I had not seen a couple of the women since I'd begun my weight loss journey a year and a half ago.

We were greeted warmly when we got there, and P1 started talking about how great I looked and how she wouldn't have recognized me had she just run in to me out someplace.  She was effusive in her praise, but that is the kind of person she is.

Having just got out of the car from a nearly 4 hour trip, I had to go to the restroom.  While I was in there P2 came in.  I could hear them talking as I was taking care of business.  P1 said something along the lines of 'wait until you see her' and 'I didn't recognize her'.  I was prepared, then,  for P2's response.  She was very complimentary of my new look, and showed appropriate interest how I'd shed the pounds. 

It was a real ego boost for me, and just what I needed to stay focused through the end of the year.  I think I'd lost sight of just how far I'd come on this journey.  The rest of the weight will come off when it comes off.  All I have any control over is how much I eat and how much I move.  The scales/clothes sizes will take care of themselves when the time is right.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Discussion Topic

I visited with my Primary Care Physician yesterday. It was a follow up exam primarily to aid in weight loss. As I've noted before on this blog, my PCP is very kind and understanding. He has never, ever fussed at me about my weight, not even at 254.4. Whenever I mentioned the desire to lose weight, he was right there willing to offer his encouragement. I have always been able to speak freely with him about whatever was happening. Yesterday was no exception.

I thought going in that I'd lost 3 lbs since my last visit, but I did not go back and look at my many, varied graphs and spreadsheets to verify that fact. I knew that he'd be pleased with a loss no matter how much, and I'd just not tell him that at one point over the summer I'd been down even lower.

He doesn't even weigh me anymore. He just asks what did my scale say that morning. He used to both weigh me and ask, but the difference between the scales must have been consistent enough that all he does is ask. I told him my weight yesterday morning adding that I thought that was three pounds below the previous weight. Imagine my surprise when he told me that I had actually gained 5 lbs since my last visit!!

I confessed that my weight have even been lower than his last recorded weight, and that I'd planned just to keep that my little secret. He responded in his usual way saying that he was the last person to "do this" as he pointed is finger at me and shook it as he laughed. He typed some stuff in his laptop though, so I might have lost my no scale privileges for a while!

Everything physically checked out fine. I assured him that I had not given up in the weight loss department, but that my job had become so demanding and I was working such long hours that I wasn't focusing like I had in the past. I don't really know when this will end, as far as the work situation goes, so I've got to figure a way to schedule things a little better so that I can plan meals and exercise like I was this summer. He offered to schedule a follow up in 90 days if that would help keep me on track, because that is just the kind of guy he is. I declined, because, one I think I can do it without that authority accountability, and two scheduling something else just about gave me a stroke!

So, we set an appointment for the end of April. Then he suggested that I set a goal to lose 10 pounds before that date. It was my turn to laugh, and I told him that I needed a real goal. He gave me the standard, don't set yourself up for failure argument. While I understand that, and I know that most of this battle is mental, I still think that I need a goal that is going to make me work. I think a goal of 10 lbs in 6 months is so easy that I won't even try until sometime in March.

This is my dilemma - goal setting. It has been all along. I  mentioned very early in this blog how I attributed my past failures to poor goal setting as far as a goal weight went. I have a much more reasonable goal weight, which the doctor confirmed yesterday. My problem now, is how long should it take me to get there. When I set my four goals just a few weeks ago, Sharon said she thought they were too much of a stretch. I really, really appreciated her honesty. It turns out, she was right.

So now, I'm turning to you my faithful blog readers. How do you set goals? What do you do if you don't meet them? What is a reasonable amount of time to lose 10 pounds? I have some goal setting to do. I need your help.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Day Eight Report and Clothes Shopping

This morning I weighed 180.2!! It was quite surprising considering my activity level and eating for the day. I think perhaps the popcorn had a little more salt than I am used to and I know I didn't get all of my water in, so I'm thinking the two combined lead to the jump. I'll know for sure in the morning if the weight is gone. I'm doing fine today, right on target with my food and water intake.

I want to tell you about shopping for blue jeans on Saturday. I think the whole thing is too funny!  Right now I have only one pair of blue jeans that are size 18. Admittedly they are too big, but they aren't ridiculous yet. I really haven't put much emphasis on my casual wardrobe since I spend most of my time is business attire. One pair of blue jeans and a pair of sweatpants has been plenty for me lately for around the house. That is until I got behind on laundry and both things were dirty.

I had to delay my Saturday activities outside of the house, while I was washing my blue jeans. Besides being dirty, they fit better right out of the dryer. (I would not have left the house in the sweats even if they were clean.) I wound up with a pair of J-boy's flannel pants on while the laundry was going. I had on a top that matched and house shoes. He asked if I was going shopping like that and I explained that I was waiting for the laundry to finish before I left. He said, "Good, I don't want you to wind up on one of those 'People of' websites." I feigned offense since the clothes were the same color scheme and the pants were even his, although I knew I looked rough.

One of the trips we had planned for the day was to the dollar store. They have recently added blue jeans to their inventory so J-boy suggested that I purchase I pair there. I agreed. They are inexpensive and if they don't hold up it really doesn't matter since I don't plan to wear them very long. The issue is the store does not have dressing rooms since they have not previously been needed. We knew this going in, so I measured my waist before we left and took the tape measure with me. My size 18 jeans are at least 10 years old, so I have no idea what that equates to in today's sizing world.

We got to the store and made all of our other selections first and then went to the blue jeans. I picked up a pair of 14's not really expecting them to be big enough. I measured the waist, and sure enough the figure was different from my waist. Then I realized my waist measurement was smaller, so I picked up some 12's and measured. They were closer but still more than an inch too big. So, I had J-boy measure. He got the same as me, and I was getting giddy. I was mentally preparing the post about buying a pair of size 10 jeans. I asked J-boy if he thought they'd fit because they looked so small. He held them up to me as if to measure the length!! They didn't look too small to him. I would have turned a cartwheel right there in the store if I knew how. I couldn't believe it. I was going from and 18 to a 10!!

The store manager came by at that point and kindly offered to open the restroom so that I could try on the pants. I took the 12's trying not to look to eager. They were too small.  Alas, I forgot about the ever lowering waist of women. My 10 year old jeans actually came up to what I'd always called my waist. My 10 year old jeans are now affectionately deemed "Mom Jeans", or "High Waisted." I've avoided the lowering waist because of my belly, fearing that once I sit, the belly fat will pop out and push the pants down.  Now I had to launch out and go with the low waist.

So, having my ego back down to normal size, I measured myself again at few inches below what I always thought was my waist and went back to the pants. I got 16's. I thought they were a little loose and J-boy thought they looked tight. Go figure. I sure am glad the store manager happend along and allowed me to try on the pants.  I probably would have bought the 10's done a post and then had to do a retraction! At least now, I won't have to wear his flannels! 

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Day Seven Report

 I was down 0.2 lbs this morning.  That brings my total weight loss to 4.0 lbs.

We just got back from Fall Fest/Trunk or Treat at church.  It was a blast and exhausting.  I ate a little popcorn but ate nothing else, not even a bite of candy.  The left over is going straight to work tomorrow.

Here's a shot of me me & my nephew handing out candy.  We didn't actually decorate our trunk, we just put a card table in front of our car.  The picture does not do justice to the cuteness of our set up!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Day Six Report

This morning the scale read 179.2!!  That is a loss of 1.8 lbs since yesterday and 3.8 since I started the drinks.  That is an average weight loss of 0.633 per day, not too shabby, especially considering Thursday! I have 24 days left on my commitment to the drinks.  If I keep up a pace of 0.5 lbs per day that is 12 more pounds or 167.2 lbs on November 17.  The original goal my doctor gave me was 165.  So, I'm setting a new goal to weigh 165 by November 17.  It is definitely a stretch.  I have proven to myself over and over that my goals have to be a stretch for me to stay focused.  If they are too easy, I'll ease up on myself and won't make any progress.

I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday.  I wanted to get to 173.4 by then.  I'm not going to make that.  Maybe I'll weigh 177.8.  That would be a loss of about 5 lbs since the last time I went to the doctor.  He'll be pleased if there has been any loss at all.  He'll probably want to see me again in 6 months to make sure I'm still losing.  Every time I go now, I think next time I'll be at my goal.  I will get there one day and that is the most important thing to remember.  It may (will/has) take longer than I want it too, but I will get there. All I have to do is not quit.

Have a happy Saturday everyone.  J-boy and I are off to the store today to get some last minute supplies for our Fall Fest at church tomorrow.  We have Trunk or Treat too.  Last year we won third prize in the trunk decorating and we really weren't trying.  (There wasn't much competition)  Now that we've had a small taste of victory, we think we're contenders and we do have a good trunk planned.  I'll share the results on Monday.  I may not blog tomorrow.  I expect to have a very full day.  Don't worry, I'll stay on my eating plan even if I don't write about it.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Day Five Report

This morning I was up 0.6 lbs back to 181. I was pleasantly surprised that it was that little. I'm back on board now, and feel confident that little gain will be gone in the moring and maybe a little more.

Last night's meal was one of the very best I've had in my entire life. No exageration. I've had meals with an outstanding element, but not any that across the board every single dish was fabulous. I'll refrain from describing it for all our sakes. I don't want to plant images in anyone's head so that they need to rush out and get the food, nor to I want do that to myself. I could never afford to eat like that anyway.

One thing I will say is that the portions seemed small on the plate when it was served, and although I wanted more because it tasted sooooooooo goooooooood. It was enough. I had a salad, entree and dessert, and felt quite satisfied afterwards. I did not feel stuffed and uncomfortable as I probably would've if I'd eaten a salad, entree & dessert at a typical restaraunt.

I am trying to key in on the lesson of portion control. I know myself well enough to know that I want to eat whatever is on my plate. Not eating it is wasteful, and often it isn't as good reheated. At home, I do a pretty good job of 'small' servings. I know I can get more if it isn't enough, but it is almost always enough. Eating out is my problem. Besides the fact that it is hard to know just how something is prepared, even when specific requests are made, it is just too much. Sometimes J-boy and I will split an entree when we go out, but just as many times we don't and I overeat. I'm trying to tuck away the feeling from last night, the pleasant, satisfied feeling of a nice meal, well prepared. I want to store that away for the times when I want to keep eating and I know I've had enough.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Day Four Report

I stayed the same weight-wise this morning, probably because I had to be up a full hour earlier than usual to get to the breakfast meeting. My body had to rebel somehow!! My total weight loss on this experiment is 2.6 lbs. That is a good loss.  I'm not complaining about staying the same, particularly after the big loss yesterday.

For breakfast, we were served a traditional southern fare of scrambled eggs, bacon, potatoes, biscuit & fruit. I ate a little of everything, but not all of anything. I quit when I felt satisfied. Oddly, it isn't hard for me to do that in situations like this one. In the past, when I was obese, I was incredibly self conscious at business meals. The instant I was served, I'd start thinking about what I was going to leave on my plate. I was definitely not going to eat everything and have people look at me and think "no wonder she's so fat." This time, that thought did not even enter my head. I just stopped at enough.

I had my protein drink for lunch and am still satisfied. I have learned that the menu tonight is surf & turf (Chilean Sea Bass & Fillet Mignon)!! Dessert is tiramisu. I'll probably have a sampling of everything. I've gotten all of my water in, but I won't have time to exercise between work & dinner. I don't know what time we'll get home, but it is a safe bet, I won't exercise after either. I'll probably collapse in to bed.

Keep a good thought for me tonight as I make my food choices, and in the morning when I face the music on the scales.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Day Three Report

I was down 1.2 lbs this morning from yesterday bringing my total weight loss for the week to 2.6 lbs. Which is great, but I'm withholding my excitement for the time being. Mostly because I'm hard to impress. :) Also, this is once again losing the regain, so I'll be impressed and excited when I get below the mid 170's.

As a whole though, I am pleased with the program. Yesterday, I went with half of the recommended amount and was quite satisfied all day as far as hunger goes. I chewed gum yesterday afternoon to get me over that need to chew. Last night, I had to rush out of the kitchen as soon as I had finished my drink because I just plain wanted to eat. It really had nothing to do with being hungry. Once I get my head in the game more fully, I feel confident that the weight will slide right off again. 

I have a challenge tomorrow, though. I have a breakfast meeting with a foundation looking to assist non-profit organizations. Ordinarily, the Development Director would attend and in his absence the Executive Director would attend. The DD is out for health reasons and the ED has a conflict, so now we're down to the third string, Business Director, me. I'm so nervous about the whole thing that I've hardly given a thought as to what I'll eat.

Of course this program is designed to allow one meal a day, and I could just make that meal breakfast, but alas that won't work tomorrow. J-boy has a Dean's dinner at the local old money country club tomorrow night. I might have gone in the parking lot on a dare in high school, but that is as close as I've ever come to attending any function at this place. Once again I'm so freaked out about the whole event, and what in the world have I got to wear to something like this, that I've barely considered what is on the menu.

Obviously, I'll have a protein drink at lunch. For the other meals, I'll do the best I can. It is a little bit foreign to me that the food is so secondary with these events. I'm trying to go with that thought, and focus on the real reason my presence is required at these two functions and eat or not eat as the situation dictates. Honestly, I might be too nervous to eat! Imagine that!
I'll give a full report Friday on how everything works out.

And now on to the heart rate monitor...I finally got a live person on the phone last night to help me program the blasted thing. She was very sweet and helpful which was great, because my level of frustration was very high by the time I got to her. She said that she'd had a similar call earlier in the day with the same thing. She had me walk through all the steps once again to prove that it was malfunctioning and suddenly it began working. It was embarrassing then on top of the frustration. She was kind about it, and said that happened all of the time.

I spent no less than 2 hours trying to get this piece of equipment to work. That is a huge thumbs down for me. J-boy and I both have advanced degrees although not in engineering, and it was just too difficult. It would have been better if the instructions just had an 800 number to call so that an expert could walk the user through the set up process. It seems to me this would save a lot of time and frustration. I was so perturbed that I did not use the thing last night, so I don't have a report on how it worked. I intend to use it tonight. Maybe I'll have something better to say tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Heart Rate Monitor Review

Right now I would not recommend this product at all!  I have spent over an hour trying to program it.  J-boy briefly tried, but gave up rather quickly.  We are both educated, intelligent people and we can't make the thing work.  We have concluded that this particular item must have a malfunction.

I looked the instructions and packaging over very carefully for an 800 number to call for technical support.  There was none.  I went to the website I found on the packaging and my only option for customer service was a form to complete and now I'm awaiting an email.

I'm not happy with this product at this time.

Day Two Report

Yesterday completed two full days on the drinks. This morning I weighed 181.6, down a full pound from yesterday and 1.4 overall. Last night I put a bunch (1 cup?) of frozen strawberries in with the powder. It was like chocolate covered strawberry ice cream, YUM!

The strangest thing is, I could not eat it all!! Not quite half way through, I really felt like I'd had plenty. I kept eating because I thought I needed the nutrients since it was a meal replacement. I ate a few more bites, and then decided to take my chances on the nutrients. For me, I need to learn to stop when satisfied, rather than when the food is gone. So far, I've had no ill effects due to lack of nutrients! ;)

I decided this morning to only have half a drink this morning and the other half for supper. I'll eat my meal at lunch time. So far, I'm plenty full. If I get hungry, I'll have a full drink at supper, or maybe I'll space them out to four small 'meals' per day. I'll just have to tweak it to make it work for me.

I got the heart rate monitor/calorie counter yesterday. J-boy and I facilitate a group on Monday nights, so I hardly got a chance to look at it. I plan to get it programmed this afternoon after work, and use it when I exercise tonight. I'll report on that tomorrow.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Day One Report

This morning's weight was 182.6, down 0.4 from yesterday. I'm trying to be happy with whatever loss I get. The lady that told me about these drinks has been successful losing weight, and to her credit did not paint any unrealistic expectations. I knew better anyway. A person just beginning a weight loss program might have dramatic drops in weight, but someone like me that has been on this journey a long time will lose more slowly. That is just the way it is. My goal now is for the scale to keep moving down, since I really don't know how this is going to work.

Sharon brought up an interesting point in her comment yesterday. That is regaining weight lost on meal replacements. It is definitely a valid concern and one I had myself. Obviously, I decided to take the risk and this is why. Mainly, I had to do something. I'm just so tired of floundering. Whatever I did had to give results quickly. It is a mental thing. I needed a mental boost as much or more than the weight loss. Meal replacements generally offer that.

With regard to the issue of regaining when eating real food again, I learned that a lot of readily available meal replacement drinks have sugar in them. For me, I think, the sugar continues to trigger the desire to eat, and thus the regain. These drinks have no sugar. They have acai, blueberries and dry processed cacao. I'm hoping that is the difference. I admit I am a little dubious, only time will tell.

I'll be honest on the blog. If the drinks work like I want them to, I'll share every detail about how & where to get them. If they don't work, I'll share that too, and spare all of you the trouble of going through this. We'll all be a little better educated to say the least, after about a month.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

A Fresh Start

 I started on the protein drinks today.  Talk about an intense chocolate flavor!!  These puppies have it.  I don't think I'll have any trouble downing two of these each day.  My bigger problem might be limiting myself to only two!

I started the day at 183.  Even though I conquered the grocery store monster yesterday, I definitely eased up on the munching all day, and the scale showed it today.  I'm not going to beat myself up over it.  I'm going forward. 

I've committed myself to the drinks for 30 days.  Hopefully, my heart rate monitor/calorie counter will arrive tomorrow as scheduled, and I'll get on board with that too.  In 30 days, I'll be a new and improved me.  I can't wait to see how well this works.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

My Trip to the Grocery Store

I just got back from the grocery store and had to share this.  As I noted on my post earlier today, I'm starting protein shakes tomorrow. On the way to the store, I told that pesky voice that has been haunting me that she could have one treat, in spite of Sharon's sage advice.  I decided that I would get some candy. 

So after I got what I'd come for, I set out for the candy aisle to make my selection.  Hmmm....what did I want, M&M's, oh yes, those peanut butter ones, no wait...maybe Twix, or Kit-Kat.  What about Mounds?  When I got there, however, I was a little grossed out.  Besides being far too many choices, the bags were huge.  Of course, this close to Halloween, what else is to be expected.  So, I decided candy wasn't the way to go. 

How about cookies?  I didn't want those old hard things in the cookie aisle.  Who knows what is in those things anyway.  I headed straight to the bakery.  Again, I was overwhelmed with choices. I thought I'd just get one or maybe two single cookies.  That way the inner brat voice would be satisfied, and I wouldn't have 10 or 11 extra cookies to worry about.  There was someone in line, so I had a moment to peruse uninterrupted to make just the right selection.  This was to be my one indulgence, so I had to make it good.  As I was looking around to find just the right confection, I saw a container full of butter cream frosting.  It was a clear plastic container in which slices of cake would be sold, only this was full of frosting.  I was disgusted.  I was also a little surprised by the disgust.  I'm an excellent baker, and enjoy decorating cakes.  I have never, ever, ever been disgusted by butter cream frosting!!  Then I realized I really didn't want anything sweet.  I wanted bread.

Back across the store I went to the frozen food.  I was just going to buy a pan of Sister Schubert's rolls.  I know I could make better, but again, I didn't want to have to deal with any leftovers.  I hardly ever shop in the frozen food area.  I can't even remember the last time I went down that aisle, probably the last time I was doing something like this and was headed for the ice cream!    Anyway, I didn't quite know where the rolls would be so I was looking around as I slowly made my way down the aisle.  I had no idea that 'chicken' could be molded in to so many shapes.  I began to wonder if it really was chicken.  I was nauseated.  I got out of there as fast as I could.

It was a good thing I already had my real food in my cart.  I high tailed it to the checkout lane, where the cashier was actually waiting for a customer.  If it had not worked out like that I probably would have just left the store with nothing.  As I was driving home, once again calm, I thought  would share this little escapade.  It even brings a little chuckle as I think about it now.

Another Review

 I got the scoop on the protein drinks this morning, and I'm in.  These are antioxidant rich dark chocolate 'shakes' that can be used to supplement a healthy lifestyle or as meal replacements for weight loss.  This place has all sorts of delicious chocolates for whatever ails you!  It is quite good too.  It is all natural, containing pure cocoa and acai.  I got a 30 day supply.  I'll report on how it works.  If this and the heart rate monitor work like I want them to, I should be back on track with my goals in no time.  Stay tuned!

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Post I Don't Want to Write

I always try to focus on the positive when blogging. Even when I mess up, I try to acknowledge the problem and address how I'm going to change and fix things going forward. I really believe that a positive mental outlook goes a long way towards a positive outcome. I'm having a hard time doing that now, because my head just isn't in the game.

Work came crashing in this week, and while the crisis situation is now in hand, I'll be busier through the end of the year than I have been this summer. Part of it is the nature of non-profits. We live and die by donations and most donors hold their money until the end of the year. It is prudent cash management on their part. No one can fault them for that. That, and the thought of negating some taxes via charitable contributions, the donations increase steadily through the end of the year. Good for my employer and my employment security. But as the financial person, my daily work routine will get busier and busier along with the holiday party schedule.  It can be distracting.

Work and my schedule really only are small parts of why my head just isn't in the game. It is the prospect of this new 'magic elixer' I mentioned in yesterday's post. I talked to the woman this morning and confirmed our meeting for 10:30 tomorrow CDT. I'm excited about that. I have no doubt that this is just the stuff I need to carry me down these last 35 lbs. Really. I have no doubt. I have every confidence that I'll get to 145 or below.

This confidence is creating a problem for me. I'm so sure that this will work and I'll skate through this last little bit, I'm telling myself that it is OK to eat up now!! Last night J-boy wanted to go to one of our favorite BBQ places. I agreed without a moments hesitation. I did ruminate all the way out there about the wisdom of my decision and what I would order that wouldn't be too outlandish. I wound up getting a baked potato. It came with smoked pork, chives, cheese & sour cream. I got it all. I ate it all too. It was a normal sized potato, not one of those giant ones or two put together to look like a mutant potato. I was stuffed. I should have stopped eating when I first felt the full signal, but knowing that soon this would be off limits I kept going.

The good news is, I ate nothing else last night. I don't think I physically could. That is a victory of sorts, because there was a time in my life that the fullness would not have bothered me like it did last night. Regardless of that, I continued to think about all the things I should eat now while I could. Another victory is that when I really thought, I'd go get it/make it, I realized that I really didn't want it. It wasn't worth the weight gain. It was easy to think that while I was full, however.

I gained a whole pound this morning. Although I expected it, it is still discouraging on some level. Today someone brought in pumpkin mini muffins to the office. I don't even like pumpkin, but I ate one. That pesky little voice kept telling me to eat while I could. Here I am now, staring down the barrel of the weekend, and weekends are always a challenge, wondering how I'm not going to jump back up five or ten more pounds before the protein drinks get here.

Another strange surprise is that I haven't drunk all my water for the day. Usually I'm through with the minimum 64 oz by noon and at this point in the afternoon, I've rewarded my self with agave sweetened tea. Not today. I still have at least 8 ounces to go! I haven't drunk a soda or anything else so maybe that is a victory.

Exercise - still hasn't happened. I checked on the heart rate/calorie monitor and it is scheduled to be delivered on Monday. So, once again it is so easy to think that I'll start fresh on Monday.

I really don't want to write this, and don't want to click publish even more. I know that then, I'll be held accountable. I know that if I put this out there, the starting fresh will have to happen now, and I'm not sure if I want to. What do I want more? That is the question...that is the question indeed...

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Sorry to disappear without notice like that. Work suddenly got very intense and I've had several late nights. I think things are smoothing out now and I can get back to blogging like I should.

My weight this morning was 179.4. It is up a little mostly because exercise did not happen while I was so busy. I did pretty well with my eating, but I know that what I'm doing now just isn't working. I have 12 days to lose 6 lbs to reach goal number 1. That is not going to happen. Even through my rose colored glasses, I know better than that. I'm going to have to reset all my goals again, but what I need to do most of all is get with a program that works.

My basis for losing the weight all along has been switching between eating plans. I lost most of my weight switching between low carb and low calorie. That seems to have stopped working and I've floundered around for months now looking for the next great thing. I think now I've found it - protein shakes. It is an interesting story how I came to this decision.

On Sunday, I complimented a friend on slimming down. She said that I had inspired her to lose weight, and I was a little taken aback. I've been so embroiled in my own struggles, that I hadn't considered that there was anything about me that would be inspiring! She went on to share with me how she'd considered various programs before deciding on this particular plan. I was encouraging her saying that everyone had to find what worked for them. During the course of the conversation she mentioned how helpful it had been with regard to her allergies. Suddenly, I went from cheerleader to participant. Instead of encouraging her to continue with her chosen path, I started asking where she got the stuff! I needed it. I get five allergy shots every Monday, which is down from 5 shots Monday and 5 shots Thursday! If I could find the magic elixir that both aided weight loss and eliminated allergies, I'd be thrilled. Between our two schedules we can't get together until Saturday. Unless something really strange comes up, I'm in. I'm switching to the protein drinks for at least a month.

As for exercise, I've ordered a heart rate monitor/calorie counter to review. It is set to be delivered on or before October 26. I'm hoping that a new toy will motivate me to get moving again. Of course, I plan to work out between now & then but I'm hoping the monitor will make it more fun. It will be something else to track and graph on spreadsheets. :)

Once I get both things sorted out, I expect the scale to start racing south again. In the meantime, I have that doctor's appointment on horizon, and my goal is to lose as much weight as possible before then. I'll rethink my goals after I get the details on the protein drinks on Saturday.  I'm re-energized and ready to move forward!  Thanks for joining me and cheering me on.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Saturday Scale Says

This morning's reading was 178.2.  Up 0.2 from yesterday...hmmm... I'm not worried since I know I was completely on plan.  I sort of expected to stay the same after that big loss yesterday.  This is almost the same thing as staying the same.  It is just a few ounces.  I'll be diligent about my water today and it should be gone tomorrow.  For the week I had a nice loss 4.4 lbs, which is even better considering that was my Monday morning weight.  I'm happy with that, and I'll keep moving forward from here.  Happy Saturday everyone!!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Eavesdropping & Delusions

This morning the scale read 178. That is a whooping 1.2 lb loss for the day. Needless to say, I'm happy about that. I'm making good progress towards my goals -

  • Goal 1, 173.4 by October 26, only 4.6 lbs to go or .25 lbs per day. When I get there, I'm getting a pedicure.
  • Goal 2, 165, by November 20, only 13 lbs to go or .3 lbs per day. When I get there, I'm getting new shoes.
  • Goal 3, 154.4, by December 31, only 23.6 lbs to go or .28 lbs per day. When I get there, I'm giving myself a spa day. That will be 100 lbs gone.
  • Goal 4, 145, by January 31, only 33 lbs to go or .28 lbs per day. When I get there, I'll go on a major clothes shopping spree.

Now, for the good part! We have several receptionists that job share in our office. They are all graduate students working on their degrees and working part time here. They are all cute and trim like most people are at that age. When I started this whole thing, rather than picking a number on the scale I tried to look at the bodies around me and think I'd like to get to her size. Our full time receptionist and one of the part-timers were ones I had selected. So, when I over heard a conversation between part timer A and part timer B (who was one of the good bodies I thought I'd like), my ears perked up.

Part timer A is a tall, lean young lady.  She's probably 5'8" and wears heels that makes her much taller.  She's a real fashionista.  I've gone to her plenty of times for fashion tips.  I knew I'd never get to her size no matter how hard I tried. 

Part timer B is a little shorter than Part timer A.  She's healthy & fit and no where near fat. She's an outdoorsy type. She runs and does triathlete stuff. She is careful about her eating, but not fanatical. I've gone to her for fitness tips.
Part timer A: "I have got to do something about my weight. I've gotten all the way up to..." I heard the numbers one six. I thought surely she meant 116, not 160.
Part timer B: "I've got you beat."
Part timer A, thinking Part timer B had misunderstood stated her weight more clearly: "I'm all the way up to 163."
Part timer B: "Like I said, I got you beat. I've cracked the 170's!"

I could have been knocked over with a feather at that point. Here was one of the bodies, I'd envied and thought I'd be happy when I got to her size and I'm virtually there! I've done a lot of contemplating since hearing that. I know she is much more fit. She has more muscle mass and that definitely ways more. On the other hand, I still think of myself as fat. I wonder what someone seeing me for the first time would think. Would they think I'm a nice size, I could lose a few pounds or that I need to go to the nearest weight loss clinic? I still think they're seeing the third option, but maybe it is closer to the second one and my mind just hasn't a caught up.

This is a strange and wonderful journey. 

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A Product Review

CSN stores has approached me about doing a product review.  They have a really cool online store that has everything anyone could ever want.  They have console tables,
housewares, exercise equipment, and everything in between.  I could spend hours on their website.  

Obviously, I agreed, now my problem is selecting something to review.  Right now, I'm leaning towards a heart rate monitor.   I think I need a little more motivation in the exercise area.  Once I figure it out, I'll tell you.  Then I'll use whatever it is for 30 days and then let you know if I liked it or not.  Fun for all!

Easing Right Along...

This morning the scale read 179.2!  That is down 0.4 from yesterday!

This morning I got a skirt out of the closet with a size tag that read 12/14.  I put it on and it fit nicely in the waist, but still wasn't quite right in the hips.  It wasn't too tight, but it had spandex in it, so it clung to every bulge.  I decided to give it another few days and try again.  I'm wearing a skirt now that is almost identical to that one but it is 16.  It is really too big, but has an elastic waist so I can get away with it.

I think I'm in the groove with regard to eating.  I'm eating food that I like and keeping my portions small.  I'm keeping to food that I prepare from fresh/raw ingredients.  Last night's meal included lettuce that I actually picked out of our backyard garden only minutes before!  I love it when that happens.

Exercise is still a challenge, but I'm working on it.  I feel so much peace with food now, that I know I'll get to that same place with exercise in due time. 

I know I still have to be diligent in both areas.  That I will do with your help.  Blogging every day and getting the comments really boosts my morale and makes me want to do better and better.  THANK YOU!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Today's Weight

This morning the scale said 179.6.  That is down 0.2 from yesterday.  It isn't quite what I needed to stay on target for my goals, but I'm not distressed.  As long as the scale is moving down, I'm happy.  I've also learned that on this journey, I need to be a little bit behind the eight ball to make progress.  If I set a goal that is too easily attainable, I won't focus enough to actually make it.  I know it makes no sense, but that is how I'm wired.

For my goals:
  • Goal 1, 173.4 by October 16, only 6.2 lbs to go, or .31 lbs per day
  • Goal 2, 165.0 by November 11, only 14.6 lbs to go, or .32 lbs per day
  • Goal 3, 154.4 by December 31, only 25.2 lbs to go, or .30 lbs per day
  • Goal 4, 145.0 by January 31, only 34.6 lbs to go, or .29 lbs per day
My scales only have one digit to the right of the decimal and they are only even numbers.  I know that I'll never register those exact losses per day and that's OK.  I'm sure some days I'll lose more and some days less.  Knowing the minimum requirement will keep me on task.

Thanks for all the support and well wishes the past couple of days.  It really helps me because I don't want to let you down!  And I really don't want to confess any binges.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


This morning's weight was 179.8! I think that is the first time in my life that I lost the vacation gain the next day. Maybe I'm on to something here, finally.


I think, it is obvious, that the weight was all water. I was about convinced of that as I kept the hallway between my desk and the ladies' room hot yesterday as I traveled back & forth! I had allowed myself artificial sweeteners while I was away. At home I drink water and tea sweetened with agave nectar. When eating out all of the time, the only drink without calories & artificial sweetener is water. Although, I love water, I want a bit of variety too. I drank tea with whatever sweetener was on the table and diet Coke along with water. I'm beginning to believe that something about carbonation creates water retention in me. Yesterday it was back to my old faithful water & agave nectar tea and I shed the excess fluid.


It hasn't been as hard as it used to be getting back on the wagon. One reason is I never really got off the wagon in a major way. I kept my goals in sight as I made my choices and was selective about the indulgences. The two things dancing around in my head, are ice cream and diet Coke. Ice cream is never far from my consciousness, so that is nothing new. I'm hoping the cold weather will help dispel that one. Diet Coke is almost humorous to me. As far as dieting goes, it is almost like craving broccoli. Giving up the DC is more of a healthy living decision to let go of the artificial stuff. It isn't a powerful craving and I'll get over it soon enough.


BTW, I didn't eat ice cream on vacation. J-boy and I usually have gelato while we are on vacation, but we didn't this time. I guess we've done that long enough that a synapse in my brain is complete so that my brain wants something cold & creamy while on vacation. Second only to ice cream is an Icee. There was a shop very close to our resort that had them. I told J-boy that I was going to walk up there for one while he was in conference one day, and I totally forgot!! How about that for a change of mindset?!?! In times past, I would have thought about that constantly until I got it. If I didn't I would be in mourning now for the missed opportunity. Now, I really don't care. Funny, isn't it?


So for my goals -

  • Goal 1, 173.4 by October 26, only 6.4 pounds to go or, 0.3 lbs per day 
  • Goal 2, 165.0 by November 20, only 14.8 pounds to go or 0.32 lbs per day 
  • Goal 3, 154.4 by December 31, only 25.4 pounds to go or 0.29 lbs per day 
  • Goal 4, 145.0 by January 21, only 34.8 pounds to go or 0.29 lbs per day.

I can do it!!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Not so bad...

This morning the scale said 182.6, which is up 2.8 lbs from my last report.  That isn't too shabby at all.  I should be able to drop that in a day or two, and have a good loss for the week!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Back to Life, Back to Reality...

J-boy had a conference in Orlando last week.  Of course, I tagged along.  While I'm away, I really enjoy being completely unscheduled, or as unscheduled as possible, so I hardly even check my cell phone for messages.  I need that solitude to recharge.  So, I checked out of blogging for a while too.

I tried hard not to check out of good eating, but that was a little harder.  I'm expecting about a 3 lb gain from the trip.  Even though I had some successes that I'll list below, I struggled the most with portion control.  It was hard for me to leave food on the plate, even when my stomach was signaling satiety.  Even so, there was a level of awareness there that had not been before.  I'm counting that as a victory too. 

I am most proud of the fact that I exercised every single day except the travel days.  The resort had a 'fitness center' which consisted of three bikes, two of which were recumbent, two treadmills and a stair climber that must have been missing a piece because I never could make it work.  It was facing the mirror and I don't like watching myself exercise, so I didn't seek help.  Instead I watched reruns of The Golden Girls and happily pedaled away on one of the recumbent bikes.  It was a good thing.  I didn't have to berate myself in to it at all.

We chose not to rent a car after flying in to Orlando.  The conference was taking place in the resort, so we had no real reason to leave except to eat.  We walked, again without hesitation, to wherever we wanted to go.  There was no issue ever with sore muscles or achy feet. 

Finally, as we were standing in line to go through security to get home.  J-boy commented on how I really did not look anything like my driver's license photo.  I reminded him of how the guard did a triple take on the way to see my sister this summer.  (I thought I blogged about it, but I didn't see it to link here.)  We discussed briefly getting a new DL, and how some of my blog friends had similar discussions as well.

So, when it came my turn to hand over my ID and boarding pass I was not surprised by the looking back & forth.  I just about blurted out that I had lost a lot of weight.  Instead, he asked what my middle name was.  He tried to act as though he was just being friendly by making sure that I had a good southern name, which I do.  I, however, knew better and J-boy did too.  He didn't buy the witty banter either, and thinks that to be safe, next time we travel by air, I should have a current photo on my license!

Tomorrow, I plan to get back to my daily weigh in.  That really seems to help me stay on track.  I'll move forward from wherever I find myself and work towards my 4 goals.