Total Weight Loss

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Saturday Scale Says

179.8, down .06 lbs.  Only 6.4 pounds to go to my goal!!  My teeth are still very sore, so I'm planning to go with minimal chewing still.

I'll be out of touch for a while, but I'm still working my program, don't worry!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Progress Report

This morning the scale read 180.4, down a full pound from yesterday! To reach Goal 1 I need to lose 7 pounds by October 26.  Definitely doable!

I mentioned on Wednesday that I was getting a sore throat. It is minor and sort of comes and goes, but there is definitely something going on in my sinuses. I think it is allergies. It is mild relatively speaking; nothing like what I used to have to deal with. My sinuses swell and press down on the nerve endings for my teeth causing all the teeth on that side of my mouth to hurt. Apparently this is not uncommon. I actually went to the dentist once insisting that he pull all the teeth on that side one time. Luckily, he had more sense than me and explained the situation. He took and x-ray and showed me the cloudiness in my sinuses which was infection.   Once that cleared the pain was gone, and I still had all my teeth.

Now I recognize what's going on and take some anti-inflammatories. Most of the time there is no infection but instead allergies. I feel confident that is the problem this time as well, especially since the symptoms are much milder this time. My teeth don't hurt all the time just when I bite down, more positive progress!!

The good news, and the reason I included all of that in this weight loss blog is that since it hurts when I chew, I try real hard not to. Last night J-boy was trying to decide what he wanted to eat for supper and nothing sounded good to me because I didn't want to chew. I finally settled on putting some frozen strawberries in the vita mix. It was a little more than a cup, and a splash of agave nectar and about 1/4 c of 1% milk. BTW, the strawberries were ones that I'd frozen myself with no sugar. I whirled that up in the vita mix for a few seconds and it was like strawberry ice cream! I gave J-boy one bite and ate every bit of the rest. YUM! It was so good I might even eat it when my teeth aren't sore!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Goals Revisited

This morning's weight was 181.4. That is a loss of 0.8 from yesterday. I'll refrain from making any definitive statements about never regaining those pounds or finally getting my mind & body in sync. It seems that when I do, I'm proven to be a liar almost immediately! :)

I've decided once again to focus on three interim goals prior to my final goal. I also reserve the right to change the final goal up or down when I get there depending on how I feel and if that is a maintainable weight.

Goal 1 - 173.4. This is my lowest weight this summer. That is only 8 pounds and I should be able to reach that by October 26. I know that seems like an arbitrary date, but I have a doctor's appointment that day. I want to be able to be at my lowest possible weight then. Even as I type this, I'm thinking that is too easy...I'll soon find out.

Goal 2 - 165. This is the original goal the doctor set for me once I'd started losing weight. That is only 16.4 pounds. Target date is November 20. That is a little more of a challenge. That will mean 2 lbs per week. I can do that if I really focus. When I reach this goal, I'm going shoe shopping. I think I'll get myself some cute red shoes. I may not limit myself to one pair!!!

Goal 3 - 154.4. That is 100 lbs gone, and my original goal. That is only 27 lbs. This target date is a little harder to set. It is 10.6 more pounds than goal 2 and even without the holidays thrown in, it is a lofty goal to lose 10 lbs in a month. At the same time, I think I can achieve both goals 1 & 2 before the target dates, so I'm going with December 31. When I reach this goal, I'm going to give myself a spa day.

Goal 4 - 145. The goal I foolishly talked my doctor in to at my last visit, and where I truly want to be on December 31!! I must be realistic in my expectations however, and not set myself up for failure. To get to 145, I'll need to lose 36.4 pounds. If I lose steadily 2 pounds per week, that will be January 27, so I'll tentatively set that goal for January 31. When I reach this goal, I'm going to spend all that money I've been saving on lots of new clothes, maybe even clothes from the mall, not the consignment/thrift store!!

I reserve the right to change the target dates for goals 3 and 4 since right now they seem so far away.

I'm giving myself positive affirmations. I've lost a lot of weight, more than most people ever hope to. It really doesn't matter if I weigh 145 on December 31, 2010, January 31, 2011 or even March 31, 2011. What matters is I get there. I have learned, however, that I operate much better with stricter parameters and tighter goals. I have to balance the two. I can and I will!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning's weight was 182.2, up 0.2.  I'm going to have to give myself a break on that because I realize my eating has been all over the place lately.  My body just doesn't know what's going on. 

Besides, I'm getting a bit of a sore throat lately.  I haven't been sick since I've been on this journey.  I don't really know how that plays into things with regard to weight loss.  I've attributed my healthiness to better eating & exercise and allergy shots.  Both things started in the spring of 2009.  Both have changed my life significantly for the better.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

"You'll Look Old!"

Before I get to the story everyone came to read today - I weighed 182.0 this morning. That is a loss of 2.2 lbs yesterday. If I can keep up this pace for the week, I'll be back on track. Wouldn't that be nice!

So, on Saturday and Sunday I got compliments and comments galore on my new trimmer body. It felt good, particularly since I'd gained weight and folks were still noticing the loss rather than the regain. On Sunday as I was walking out of the church building on the way to the picnic, a woman I've known and loved since childhood, commented on my dramatic weight loss. This lady has had weight struggles of her own through the years and so I spoke with her very openly about losing 81 lbs and the recent uptick, knowing that she'd understand. Imagine my surprise when she told me to stop losing weight! She said I'd lost enough and looked fine. I pointed out that my doctor's original goal was still below my current weight and that I wanted to lose 100 pounds which was a little less than that even. Then she blurted out, "You'll look old!"

Sadly, I knew she was right. She confirmed what the cosmetic surgeon told me about a year ago when I went for the hip blob. I told her that I had been forewarned that was a possibility, so she reiterated her first admonition to just stop. I was floored. As hard as this has been in recent months, stopping has not been an option. It still isn't by the way.

As I am typing this all out, I am realizing what a good thing the whole conversation was. Initially, I thought how could she be so insensitive, now I'm understanding this was just what I needed to hear. I needed to confirm for myself that I'm not quitting.WOW!! I love blogging for this very reason. This is not the first time I've had an epiphany right in the middle of an entry. I'm not quitting! That is all that matters.

Thanks to everyone for all the supportive comments yesterday.  I needed those too.  It is a journey with highs and lows.  I've been in the valley long enough.  I'm feeling a change in momentum...

Monday, September 20, 2010

Eat Hearty!

This morning the scale read 184.? I can't remember the last digit, but it really doesn't matter. My weight is up yet again. This time, however, I know why. I ate at the church picnic yesterday.

In the interest of full disclosure - I ate a hamburger on a white bread bun with mustard & pickles. I'm fairly certain that the beef was not grass fed, nor low fat. It was bought in bulk and generally those are not the high quality stuff we want in our diets. I ate 10 or 12 sun chips, a spoonful of baked beans with real bacon, a spice cookie and a brownie. I also drank one bottle of water and two coke zeros.

I could try to reframe this in to a positive in that I ate far smaller portions than I have in the past. I selected sun chips thinking they were a better choice than regular chips and I only ate two desserts. While all that is true and indicates a positive change, I would be deluding myself if I stopped at that. I've been in situations where all the choices were 'bad' as they were yesterday and I've not eaten. I've brought my own food. I could have easily done that yesterday, but I did not. I was throwing a bit of a temper tantrum.

I'm tired and grumpy. Sharon knows me better than I know myself. Her comment yesterday was spot on. I'm mad that this is going to have to last the rest of my life. There is no finish line. Even when I get to my goal, I will have to be diligent with each and every meal. When I look at it with my calm, rational, grown up brain, that is no big deal. Most days, what I eat is nothing spectacular. It wasn't when I wasn't dieting either. It was poor quality and too much, but it was nothing to write home about. I have no idea what I ate 3 years ago today. There are very few meals that stick out in my mind, so why am I pouting like a toddler about what I won't be able to eat years from now? It is part of the mental process, I suppose.

I'm up 7 pounds in a week. There is no excuse for that, not hormones, not crazy schedule, nothing. Now, I'm having to deal with the consequences of my choices. Before, I've been able to honestly say that I'm back on track and ready to get back with the program. Now, I'm feeling a little fragile. I want to get back on track and move forward with the program, but I'm doubting myself. How many times can I fall down & get back up? As many times as it takes to get to my goal, but falling hurts. I need to figure out why I'm falling so much, so I can stop.

I know one reason - someone told me yesterday if I lost any more weight, I'd look old. I'll blog about that tomorrow.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Good Questions

Thanks to Grace for the questions left on my previous post.  That is the exact reason I blog, for the accountability.  I appreciate everyone for holding me accountable.

As for eating, I feel like I can say without hesitation I have made the best choices I could with the craziness that surrounded me this week.  That being said, I know I relied heavily on fruits & nuts because they are grab & go type foods.  It was probably too many carbs, but not enough, I don't think to cause these great leaps each day.  I would have understood a slow down in the losses or even no loss due to the choices but not a gain.

With regard to exercise, I missed Monday & Tuesday, but I felt like I moved more than I would have if I'd just come home and just skipped exercise.  Again, I know that would cause things to slow down, but not jump up.

I began to suspect hormones on Thursday and had that confirmed today, when our Ladies' Day speaker moved me to tears several times.  In fact, several of my precious 'sisters' hugged me afterwards because they'd noticed me crying.  I am so blessed to have such a loving community around me.  Even though our speaker was indeed touching with her remarks, I knew that I was overreacting.  I'm really hoping that this is the problem because if so, in a day or two I'll have a huge drop and be back on the way again.

As for the 'cleaning out' this is another possibility, but it is hard to know for sure.  I have a lovely little condition called IBS.  As a result, I don't have a regular pattern, but also any little thing can throw my system out of sync.  The treatment for IBS is mega-doses of fiber twice a day and I have been compliant with that treatment.  It is another thing that I hope is the problem or at least a large part of it.  If so, once my body gets regulated, I'll have a nice loss then as well. 

This is something that I truly had not considered until I read the comments.  That is why I love the comments so much.   Thanks, and please keep it up!

Saturday Scale Says

181.6 - It matters now.  I have a very low threshold for doing what I know to be right and not seeing results.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning - 179.6.  Once again a gain, and once again, it is OK.  I know what I'm eating and I know how I'm working out, so I know that the scales will catch up soon enough.  Besides I feel it.  I feel smaller.  I even tried on a skirt that had been too small.  It was still tighter than I like, but it definitely fit better.

I've had a crazy week, and it isn't over yet.  I have Ladies' Day at church tomorrow morning where lunch will be provided, then my autistic cousin's 47th birthday party in the afternoon.  We will have chocolate cake there, that I made.  He likes my chocolate cake and I was glad to make it for him.  On Sunday we have a church-wide picnic. 

I'm not real worked up about any of these eating situations.  People at church have commented a lot about my weight loss.  I know that a lot of people will be watching to see what I eat because they are happy for me. I don't want to let them down, so I'll make better choices that I might have otherwise.  I might or might not eat cake at the party.  My cousin would be perfectly happy if no one ate cake and he had it all to himself.  It is easy for me to give him that privilege on his birthday. 

In the midst of the chaos of the week, I didn't get a chance to blog about the amount of food we had Tuesday.  We are definitely a food oriented workplace but things moved to a new level on Tuesday.  I baked cookies for our Monday night group and forgot them (imagine?!), so I brought them in Tuesday morning.  The person bringing the monthly birthday cake decided to bring it Tuesday.  There was another cake in the kitchen as well, that I never learned the story.

So first thing Tuesday morning we have 4 dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies, and two cakes in the kitchen.  Tuesday afternoon we had an adoption ceremony.  There was cake!  Yes, now there were three cakes in our office, plus mints, nuts, chex mix, & pizza rolls.  That's not counting punch, and assorted colas.

Ask me how much cake I ate?  NONE!  I did have some nuts and a little chex mix, but no cake.  I slipped in to my 'server' mode.  I sliced & served a lot of cake.  I picked up dirty plates and refilled the nuts, etc.  (That's when I had the nibbles.)  I feel good about that.  I am more comfortable serving than sitting anyway. If I am busy passing out food and making sure everyone else is fed, I'm distracted from the fact that I'm not getting any.  It is much better that way.

Once I get through the weekend, I'll be back to a more typical routine.  My hormones should be back in order and the scales should move south once again.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning's reading was 178.6.  ?????  I even did my full exercise routine yesterday.  I'm not upset about it and I feel like tomorrow's reading will be back down. 

I have one theory as to why, it is probably TMI so feel free to stop reading now, especially men.  Even the casual reader may have noticed that I have not blogged about having a period, or monthly bloat, etc.  That is because I had a uterine ablation about 7 years ago.  It is a procedure in which the lining of the uterus is burned away, so that it does not shed each month.  So, I still have all of my equipment, just one part doesn't do anything anymore. 

I still have cycles, but I don't have a marker to let me know where I am in the cycle.  My only clue most of the time is inappropriate weepiness. It seems that everything is so sweet that it brings a tear of joy.  I'm not kidding.  I have cried at long distance telephone commercials before.  It is just so touching to see people reconnecting in that way.  I might cry because I'm so angry, tired, happy, sad, etc. 

I was feeling that way on Tuesday, but didn't make the connection because I was feeling so overwhelmed regarding my schedule and it didn't seem quite so out of place.  I really felt bloated last night but still didn't pt it all together.  I tried to figure out what I'd eaten to cause the feeling.  This morning when the scale bounced up for no good reason, it finally came together for me.  Funny thing is, when I realized that was likely the reason for the issues lately, I was relieved and I haven't felt like crying all day! 

Odd isn't it?  I only wish I'd realized this on Tuesday.  It would have saved J-boy from having to constantly reassure me that everything was going to be OK.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning's weight was 177.8!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning the scale read 178.6.  Two pounds gone, again.  This time, forever. 

Yesterday was the whirlwind I anticipated and then some.  I wound up eating a handful of cashews between work and class and then another handful when we got home sometime after 8:00.  There was no deliberate exercise at all.  However, I moved around a lot more than a typical day.

Today is another long day.  Our board meeting is this afternoon.  I'll be late getting home by a couple of hours, but I should be able to exercise tonight.  I brought my lunch and have my evening eating plans made.

Today should be a good day, and tomorrow will be better. 

Monday, September 13, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning the scale read 180.6.  Sometimes it is harder to get back with the program than others.  Yesterday was one of those days.  I have a busy, busy week this week, and just thinking about it put me in a tailspin.  Even this morning, I am quite jittery about what has to be done.  Here is a brief synopsis -

J-boy and I begin facilitating a group tonight.  We have facilitated this group before at our church, and now we've been asked to expand it through my employer.  We had the promise of some equipment and here it is mere hours before the session and the equipment is no longer available to us.  The workbooks that I was told were in a certain place are not there.  The coordinator is out of the office today and J-boy is in class right now, so I'm alone to figure out what do to.

Tomorrow is the board meeting for my employer and I present the financials.  I work for a non-profit organization and we rely heavily on donations for our operations.  Our donations have been down significantly as anyone would expect in this economy, but our demand for services is up again due in large part to the economic situation.  My job is to make it all work from a financial standpoint.  No easy task, although it has eased some in recent weeks.

Wednesday is session two of a group J-boy and I are facilitating at our church.  Right now our participants are a specially challenged young lady with breast cancer, and a woman we have reason to believe is clinically depressed.  We are not equipped to deal with these situations and may have to pull the plug on the group.  As difficult as it will be to tell these two women that we can't help them, they will probably be better served elsewhere.

On a lighter note, the upcoming weekend has three fun events, not the least of which is my autistic cousin's 47th birthday.  He loves my chocolate cake, and I'm not about to deny him that on his birthday!  So, making a cake is on my agenda for later this week.  And I'll need to bring something to our church picnic on Sunday.

I'm backing down from one day at a time to one moment at a time.  I'll do the best I can making decisions about what to eat and work in exercise as much as I can.  I'm sure this will work out to be a good thing.  It may be hard to see that now, but I know I'll look back and be glad for something.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning the scale read 180.0.  I ate a lot of things yesterday that are generally on the 'do not eat' list.  I expected this to happen.

Remember how I posted last week that yesterday was the last eating challenge on the horizon?  Once again, I was wrong.  This weekend is fraught with them - ladies' day at church Saturday AM, autistic cousin's birthday party Saturday PM and church picnic Sunday just to name a few. 

I've taken some time to reflect, yet again, on my eating plan and how it has/has not been working for me and my work out routine.  I am going to have to be more deliberate about both aspects.  J-boy and I are facilitating to groups this fall which means two evenings each week we won't be home until 8:00 pm or later.  That is going to severely cut in to my evening work out routines and require packing an evening meal as well as the mid-day meal and any snacks in between.  It can be done; it will just require a lot of planning.

I'm going to go back to stricter parameters on eating.  I know that with counting calories lots of ice cream can be eaten and it seem to be OK because it fit in the calorie count for the day.  I tip-toed up to that line over and over again these past three weeks.  Let's just say, my weight speaks for itself!!  I'm going back to being more militant in eating, but I hope that I can balance that with letting go of perfectionism.  I feel like I've gotten very good at getting over the off plan indulgences, so that I don't freak out and eat everything in sight after one.  I want to keep that mindset, and I know it will be harder when more food is on the forbidden list.  Right now the task at hand is weight loss.  I've committed to lose 20 lbs by Christmas with Joy.

I'll continue to post my weight each day for the next couple of weeks, and see if that helps too.  In the meantime, I'm going to practice smiling and saying, "No, thank you." So, I'll be ready for next weekend!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Saturday Scale Says

178.4  That is up 0.2 from last week and 0.8 from yesterday.  Go figure!  I even exercised yesterday.

I have too much celebrating to do today to worry about it.  I'm going to enjoy my day and deal with any food issues as they arise.  I'm not going to try and control every last thing.  Today is a day to remember the joy of my wedding day.  Happy anniversary J-boy!

I also offer condolences to those who lost loved ones on this tragic day 9 years ago.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Whew...What a Week!!

Today's weight was 177.6. I am thankful for it. I have had a crazy week and haven't exercised all week!! I have absolutely, positively got to get back on the elliptical tonight.

Tomorrow is my 11th wedding anniversary with J-boy. We have a special restaurant we go to every year. We are going to continue that tradition this year. One of my tasks today is to find the menu and make my healthy selection.

Looking ahead, I don't see any eating obstacles for the next few weeks, but my schedule is crazy for probably the rest of the year. I'll have to be extra diligent scheduling my exercise.  It takes both to get the best result.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Today's Weight

This morning the scale read 178.4.  That is what I weighed on my birthday a couple of weeks ago, so I'm making progress.  I have one more challenge this weekend, then I should be over those for a while.

More later...I hope!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A Better Day

This morning the scale read 179.4.  My food plan for today is much the same as yesterday, so I'm anticipating another successful day.

Thanks for all of the sweet comments, and the award!  The support means so much.  It really does, it brought a tear to my eye.  No one said anything ugly, no one said that I was a fraud, or confirmed any of those negative thoughts I was having.  I really do appreciate it.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Oh, My Goodness!!

This morning the scale read 181.2!!! Even though I know what happened, I can't believe it. It scares me a little bit too.

The day started out great. It was a gorgeous late summer day in the southeast. I filled my water bottles as I do for work because I know I have a hard time keeping up with my water intake on less scheduled days. As J-boy and I went about enjoying the fabulous day, I drank water and ate according to plan. All was right with the world.

I tried some new recipes and was pleased that I was able to enjoy cooking again. I missed it. This time, I was making lentil soup and whole wheat bread. It was good. We ate the soup for supper and even took some to my mother. The three of us agreed it was very good soup.

After we got back from my mother's, I found myself more than once eating peanuts. It was like I had lost consciousness and came to, only to discover myself eating peanuts!! The good news is once, I was aware I stopped. It is also good that peanuts are the closest thing to junk food I have in the house. I finally put the peanuts where I could not see them. But it gets worse.

When the bread was done, I was a little concerned about it. It didn't rise up nearly as much as I was accustomed to with white breads. And it was just an ugly loaf of bread, even J-boy said it was one of the saddest looking things I'd ever made. He takes his job as my cheerleader very seriously, so if he said it was sad, it.was.sad! So, without giving it even a thought I sliced of a piece to taste. It was warm so I put some butter on it. J-boy thought he should have a taste too, so I cut him a slice. I was surprised that it was not bad. It was a little dense but most whole grain bread are. I was about halfway through enjoying that warm slice of bread when I realized this wasn't in my calorie count for the day. I was making it for sandwiches for lunch this week. (And I hadn't counted all those peanuts!)

I had a real struggle then with the bread and the bread won. I ate the rest of that slice. I had to leave the room. I left the bread unwrapped on the counter because I knew that I'd be tasting another slice of the bread and digging those peanuts back out and seeing what else there was in the house to nosh if I stayed in the kitchen one second longer. I had that horrible internal battle all of us face, only this time it was not just about wanting to eat, but wondering how often I ate like this and never realized it. I told myself I was a fraud, that I didn't know the first thing about losing weight, on and on the belittling went, and I could not seem to get off that merry go round of thought.

I picked up a novel to get my mind off of things, and about 5 pages in one of the main characters has gastric bypass surgery and discusses what she can eat!! I got in the bathtub for a good long soak. Then I saw my belly floating there above the water like a little island. I refused to go to sparkpeople to see how many calories I'd had even though often it isn't as bad as I thought. I just couldn't face it. I didn't want another reminder of my failings.

I am truly nervous about the whole absent minded eating thing. I've been so frustrated thinking that I've been on plan and haven't lost. I've tweaked here and there, up my exercise, etc to break through those barriers, but now I'm really wondering. Were those really barriers or am I in some huge denial? There is no denying that I have lost weight, but I've yo-yoed for far too long. How do a fix a problem, of which I am not even aware? I don't know...I just don't know...

Monday, September 6, 2010

Labor Day Report

This morning the scale read 179.4.  The fish & chips cost me 0.4 lbs.  That isn't so bad.  I have the day off from work and no eating issues for the day.  My biggest challenge will be drinking enough water.  I've already filled the water bottles for the day just like I would if I were going to work.  That will help me stay on track.  I'm looking forward to a good day!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

J-boy's Birthday!

This morning the scales read 179.0. can that be?  Gaining 0.8 lbs after a perfectly fine, on plan day, is one of the most frustrating parts of this journey for me.  I want to find the culprit and remedy it ASAP.  It often takes me a while to recognize where the problem is.  There are two possibilities this time.

One, I've been slacking off in the exercise area because of the foot injury.  Yesterday, my plan was to be back at full capacity on the elliptical, but true to the rest of the day those plans didn't work out.  It was such a lovely evening that J-boy and I decided to walk in our neighborhood.  We had a great stroll, but I didn't get my heart rate up where it needed to be.  J-boy has arthritis in his knees that flares up from time to time.  It did last night and he just couldn't keep up any pace.  So, I backed off.

The other possibility is water.  I had 8 glasses yesterday, but I often have 12 or even more.  My body could be mad about that.  I'm trying to increase my fluid intake today.

Today is J-boy's birthday.  He opted out of a birthday cake since he's on board to losing 30 lbs after the knee flare up.  An anonymous church member, however, had some chocolate mini muffins waiting for him this morning.  They are his and not mine so I'm fine with not having any.

To celebrate he wanted to go to a local eatery that gives a senior discount to people at his new age.  (BTW, J-boy is a lot older than me.)  This place isn't known for healthy options or really even good service, so I had my work cut out for me.  They generally have a Sunday brunch buffet which is what he wanted, but I opted out of that.  I can't handle seeing all of those options, and start thinking a little taste here & there won't hurt. 

I decided to order off the menu as had a couple of others in our party, so I didn't feel so isolated.  Depending on the mood of the server, special requests might be granted or not.  Even if the server is in a good mood and agrees to the special request, like salad dressing on the side, it still may not happen.  Rather than order a menu item that needed tweaking, I looked for something that could stand alone. 

As a was perusing the menu, my eye fell on fish & chips.  I'd been thinking of fish a lot lately.  Thinking how it would taste good and that I needed to learn how to prepare it. Stuff like that, not like craving ice cream, just thinking about fish.  I knew when I saw it that it would be battered and fried, not like what I would prepare if I knew how.  Somehow that fish called to me, so I ordered it.  It was good and hot and crispy when it came out.  I ate it, and I ate slowly which is a huge accomplishment for me.  As it lost the heat, it wasn't as good.  When it stopped being good, I stopped eating it. 

Don't misunderstand, I ate most of it.  Eating slowly and leaving any food, particularly restaurant food, is huge for me.  I don't want to be wasteful.  I knew this wouldn't reheat well, and I didn't mind leaving it.  I'd had all I wanted.  It has fit in to my calories with no problem.  For my evening meal, I'm planning something light, like a fruit ice drink.  So far, eating has no appeal to me.  I'm quite satisfied.  J-boy and I will likely take another stroll through the neighborhood.

Right now it is too gorgeous outside for me to stay in here typing away.  I'm going outside.  We'll see in the morning how much damage the fish did!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Saturday Scale Says

This morning I weighed 178.2.  That is 4.8 pounds heavier than my lowest weight this summer when things suddenly stalled out and I started sparkpeople.

I'm going to keep posting my weight each day.  It may not be very interesting to read, but it certainly keeps me motivated.  I'm also going back to listing how far away I am from my goal weight, but now I've got some intermediate goals.

Goal 1 - 173.4. my lowest weight this summer, 4.8 lbs to lose
Goal 2 - 165, the original goal my doctor set for me, 13.2 lbs to lose
Goal 3 - 154.4, 100 lbs gone!!!!!, 23.8 lbs to lose
Goal 4 - 145, ultimate goal OK'd by my doctor at the last visit, 33.2 lbs to lose

They all seem like very doable amounts, even 33.2 doesn't sound like that much weight any more!!  I'm going to come up with some rewards for myself in between.  I'm thinking a new pair of shoes at 165, a spa treatment day at 154.4, and of course the major shopping spree at 145.

My foot is much, much better today.  I wore the shape ups around this morning, and I intend to do 20 minutes on the elliptical at my full capacity.  (I would have done this earlier, but my day got hijacked, in the most pleasant way possible!)  I usually take Sunday off from all exercise, so I'll have a full day of recovery if needed.  If I have no ill effects from today, I'll put myself back on the full exercise routine on Monday.

Today is an absolutely gorgeous day in Middle Tennessee, so I'm off to enjoy it!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning I weighed 179.6.  I'm not going to lament the fact that it will take me two days to lose the weight I gained in one.  That's just life, and I have to get over it.  I am going to celebrate, however, the fact that I got right back with the plan and made progress in the right direction.

My foot is much better.  I did a slow, easy 20 minutes on the elliptical last night.  I also did strength training and several floor exercises.  If you count moving an enthusiastic canine companion away every 3 seconds, I got a whole lot of exercise!!!  I'll probably do much the same today as my foot is still a little sore.  Maybe tomorrow, it will be well enough to try to give it my all again.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning I weighed 180.0. Oops!!

Really, it isn't an oops. I ate a hamburger last night. J-boy decided to cash in his free hamburger coupon for his birthday last night. It was the same place we went for my birthday. I knew it was coming, but I thought it would be over the weekend. Since this was a spur of the moment decision, I hadn't had a chance to look at the website and get calorie counts in order to make the best choice. I remembered enough from when we went for my birthday to know that the salads were higher calorie than the burgers. But, I'd really only looked at the burger I wanted and not the others. I had a bit of a 'been there, done that' feeling with the hamburger I'd had before, so I perused the menu for something else. So, without any idea as to the calorie count (only it was going to be a lot!), I ordered the hot & spicy burger. It came with jalapenos, salsa and pepper jack cheese. It was quite good - tasty and cleared my sinuses at the same time! I also drank a lot of unsweet tea because my lips were burning. Why do I love that so much?

Imagine my surprise when I got home to find that the hot & spicy deliciousness was lower calorie than my birthday burger!! When I opted for this particular burger, I told myself that the heat in the peppers would jazz up my metabolism to offset some of the calories. I don't know just how many calories that entails but I didn't have as many as I'd had before, so that was good.

Another good thing is that I was completely satisfied when we got home and I had no urge to eat everything else in the house because I'd blown it. Even this morning, I cut back on my cereal because I really didn't want that much. I think this is how 'normal' people eat. The indulge every now & then, and naturally cut back on calories the next day. Could this be me? Could I finally be approaching food with sanity? Perhaps, just perhaps...

Another change that is taking place is that I am concerned about missing exercise!! Did I just say that!!! Yes, I did! J-boy got me some of those shape ups type athletic shoes for my birthday. It is a real sweet story but I'll not go in to it now. I've been wearing them when I work out on the elliptical machine and easing in to wearing them around the house. I've really have amped up the intensity of the workouts lately because of all of the indulging going on right now. Apparently that combination is a little too much for my feet. Tuesday night, I had muscle spasms in my left arch. Really painful things that were quite intense, but were short in duration. After just a couple they stopped, so I really didn't think too much about it until my right foot started hurting yesterday. The pain wasn't the intense, harsh pain, it was lower in intensity, but almost constant. It occurred to me that perhaps the new shoes were working a new muscle/tendon/something in my foot causing the pain much like a new workout routine makes different muscles sore. As I contemplated this yesterday, my first thought was to lay off the elliptical for a day or two to recover. Then I had an almost panicked feeling. I needed to work out, I couldn't just not work out. Then I tried to think of what I could do that didn't involve standing. There are plenty of floor exercises that can be done, but I have yet to think of anything that will get my heart rate up. Right now, I think I'll wear my old shoes and do the elliptical.

I'm hoping if I lay off the new ones for a few days the soreness will abate and I'll work up to the new shoes again. I hope so, I've got to have my workouts. My real fear is that if I stop, I won't start back again. It is much harder for me to get in the place mentally where I want to exercise than it is for me to get in the place mentally where I want to eat right. I hope this works, and I'm open to any suggestions anyone has for remedies.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Daily Weigh In

This morning I weighed 178.8!! I confess, I ate cake. I'd already planned for it, so the cake was my supper. This morning, I feel awful. When I woke up, I thought I'd come down with the flu. I ached, my head hurt, I considered calling work and saying I was sick. Then I remembered that I'd eaten cake, and figured that was the problem. I took two Excedrin and came to work. I'll know soon enough if I'm really sick or if this is some sort of food hangover.

J-boy's birthday is Sunday and we have agreed on a place to go eat then. We might go out another night to celebrate as well. In between those times, I am committed to eating well. That is a big change for me. Historically, if there was a special occasion on the horizon, I'd pig out between now & then. Now it is very different, now I'm looking forward to the clean eating days in between those times. I'm also looking for the very best choices, or the lesser of two evils.

I do believe something is changing inside of me. I don't think I have 'arrived' but I'm well on the way. I exercised hard yesterday afternoon because I knew I was going to eat cake. I knew I needed to mitigate the damage that would cause. That is sooooooo different for me. Even now, I look for reasons not to exercise. But now, I can see the day coming when I might actually want to, well maybe...