Total Weight Loss

Friday, July 19, 2019

Wacky Wednesday!

When I restarted the hgc and blog, I decided to be more 'go with the flow' type of person that one bound by strict rules and regulations.  Coming to that mindset has been a journey in itself.  Even with the new attitude, I had some ideas about how the weight loss would happen and thought I would blog about once a week.  It didn't take long for both of those thing to fall apart!  Since I have a more relaxed approach this time, I won't apologize, but simply share what happened on Wednesday and document a bit about how the weight loss is going and how I'm feeling.

Wednesday started out as planned but just as I was starting an appointment, I got a call that my 6 year old niece was sick at day camp.  I extricated myself as soon as possible to get her.  I managed to get there about an hour before her 4 year old sister was to be dismissed but she was asleep. I left the 4 year old there and brought the 6 year old home.  I got her settled on the couch and called 65MD (my husband) to see if he was planning to come home from work in time to stay with her while I went for the little one.  He was.  I got the little one and we had a quiet afternoon watching TV.

Before anyone gets distressed about their parents not coming for them, I live less than 10 minutes from the school and can get there more quickly.  I am the designated pick up person in the afternoons anyway since day camp is over before their parents get off from work.  I was in contact with them.  They knew what was going on.

Everyone is well now.  And, catching up on this blog will get me fully back on track.

As far as the weight loss goes, I had a small but surprising gain on Wednesday morning.  I attributed it to still not getting in enough water and missing a meal.  I have the aforementioned sisters on Tuesdays and Thursdays along with their 3 year old cousin.  We have an absolute blast!  In the chaos of the day, however, I never took the time to actually eat my midday meal.

Then on Thursday morning, I had another small gain making a full pound regained.  Once again, I didn't get in all my water and with the early trip to pick up my niece I missed my midday meal again.  

The protocol is if two days pass without a loss, the next day should be an apple day.  Up to 6 apples can be eaten throughout the day.  So that is what I did. This morning, I had lost a full pound.

I confess I am disappointed.  I am not beating myself up for not getting in the water or missing the meals.  In fact, I am doing much better with the water.  And, I would never be upset about any decision I made regarding helping my family.  That is just the way life goes sometimes.

Still, I am disappointed.  I only have so many days on the hcg, and the early days, the first two or three weeks, are the real sweet spot regarding weight loss.  I want to make the most of those days.  I decided at the outset, I would do two 40-day rounds and then accept whatever my weight/size is at that time.  

This time has been harder than I recall the earlier times.  It is probably that I have forgotten, but I have been hungry!  The first week I had a mild headache most of the time in addition to being hungry.  The headache is gone but the hunger remains.  I know in the past, I wanted to eat and I never felt really satisfied after a meal, but I don't remember it being to this degree.  Perhaps, it is that I just couldn't load those first two days.  I'll make sure to indulge more next time.

As far as the water goes, I'm trying to drink a full gallon.  I am consistently drinking half of that and sometimes closer to two-thirds.  Yesterday, I almost made it.  This time, I am happy that I am making progress and know that eventually I will make my goal.

Life inside my head is so much better when I focus on what I have done which is a lot, rather than what I have not done, which by comparison is quite small.  I'm looking forward to a healthier me as well.

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

And So It Begins

I started the injections on Sunday.  Sunday and Monday were 'load' days.  It takes 48 hours for the hcg to fully get into the system so the first two days are for calorie loading.  Then there are two days after the injections stop where the low calorie plan is followed while the hcg fully exits the system.

Sunday and Monday I ate Mexican and pizza, two things I know I'll miss the most.  Truth be told I amped up the eating a bit since deciding to start.  That means I have a few more pounds to lose, but I have so many to lose, a couple more don't really matter.  I was surprised at how 'little' I gained in the weeks I was waiting to start.  I recognized that I really had made peace with food.  I did not plan my life around what I was going to eat since I would be restricting again soon.  

On Sunday and Monday in particular, I really needed to eat to get the best outcome for the next 42 days.  However, I could not eat that much.  I ordered a big plate of nachos on Sunday and could not eat them all.  In fact, I really didn't want to eat anything else the rest of the day.   65MD (my husband) brought home pizza on Monday.  He got my favorite and I ate three pieces, but only the good part in the middle not the edges.  I was so stuffed, I had to get some tummy medication!  

Yesterday was my first day with the fast, as I am calling it.  I had already portioned out my protein in 3.5 ounce packages so that all I have to do is cook and eat.  I was hungry all day!!  I don't think I quite did enough on the loading.  Sigh, not eating enough, that is a new concept for me.

I am better today hunger-wise.  Yesterday and today, I've had trouble getting a gallon of water in.  I get about half of that down.  Today, I squeezed a few lemons into the jug to make the water crisp.  I am enjoying that.

As of this morning, I have lost one pound from my starting weight on Sunday.  I am fine with that.  I feel much more relaxed this time about the whole process.  I'm not freaked out to get every ounce of water down; it will come.  I know the weight will come off too.  This is just a season of my life.  The weight loss season.  It will take as long as it takes.  I will concern myself with the next season when that time arrives.

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

In the Interim

It has been almost three years since I blogged, and I am so surprised that so many of my blog friends jumped in with a comment.  Blogging in obscurity was fine with me, but since I got so much support from the earlier post I thought I would expand a bit on what happened during the last three years.

My quest for health and fitness didn't change, it took a new course into the body acceptance arena.  That was and is a very good thing.  I read the book, Secrets of the Eating Lab by Traci Mann.  Get it and read it.  It really opened my eyes to the *why* of eating and set me on a journey of a lot more reading and research.

In time, I realized that there were issues surrounding the disordered eating habits I had developed and I needed to get some professional help.  I found a therapist that specialized in disordered eating.  We did not discuss what I had eaten each day.  We did not discuss how many carbs, calories, fat grams or anything else regarding what I ate, when I ate or how much I ate.  Instead we talked about life.  

I was depressed.  I knew that.  I spent a lot of my life depressed.  After a few sessions, I felt comfortable enough to share with her a memory from my childhood surrounding food.  As we uncovered the feelings underneath the memory, I was able to deal with the feelings as feelings.  It was hard and involved a lot of tears.  We dealt with several hard memories from childhood during the time I spent seeing her.

In time, I realized that some of my favorite foods would sit in the refrigerator or in the cabinet for days uneaten.  Sometimes, I actually forgot they were there until I saw them.  We were really on to something.  Life intervened and I decided to stop therapy.  

My mother got sick, moved in and then died.  That needed my entire focus.  Now, I'm embarking on the weight loss journey again.  This time, with more peace about food and a greater understanding of why I made some of the choices I did years ago.  This time, I'm expecting better, more lasting results.

Thanks for joining me.

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Hello There!!

Any body still here?  I abandoned this blog years ago when I got tired of sharing yet another failure to lose weight.  In the interim, I discovered health at every size, intuitive eating and even a militant-like resistance to the diet culture in society.  Those things helped me have peace with my body shape, but still not with the size.

In addition to the physical journey to health.  I've been on an intense emotional journey.  I'm not sure how much of that I will share here.  At this time, I'll say I've dealt with childhood trauma, my mother moving in and subsequently dying.  I'm continuing to deal with it.

I've been through some very dark times.  I've kept them quite private except to my family and closest friends.  Now, I see a brighter future and I'm ready to focus on being the best version of me I can be.  I am starting back on the hcg next week.  I want to share that journey here.  Not just the weight loss, that is important, but almost secondary to the emotional healing I want to experience.

I understand now, that my obesity has deep roots in the childhood trauma.  I understand now,  I don't need the extra weight to protect me.  My eating is much more peaceful now.  The hcg is to get a jump start on weight loss and alleviate some physical aches that have to do with carrying around too much weight.

Who is here?  Say 'hello' in the comments so I know who is coming along side me in this new chapter.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Wednesday Weigh In, Diet Coke Pedometer App

This morning the scales were down 0.6 lbs from last week.  I'm not sure why but I'll take it.  If I can consistently lose about half a pound a week, I'll be glad.

I'm guessing it is the more concentrated effort to drink water the past couple of days.  My eating has been OK, but not stellar.  I didn't find myself editing my intake because I didn't want to document it.  I ate cake twice over the weekend and wrote it down.  I know that my life has got to include cake every now and then.  Probably not twice in one weekend very often, but we celebrated two birthdays on two different days, so there were two cakes.

I wish that next week was a more typical week so that I could test my theory but it isn't so I won't stress about it.  I will, however, take lots of bottled water because the water at camp is gross.  I learned over the weekend that I enjoy water more than I thought.

I had a chance to drink Diet Coke over the weekend.  (Not as the same time as I was eating cake.) I have been doing a good job of avoiding artificial sweeteners so I'm not sure when I last had my beloved Diet Coke.  There once was a time that I drank so much, I laughed and said I would bleed Diet Coke if I were cut.  (This was in my middle and late 20's, when I did not grasp the dangers of artificial sweeteners.)  Anyway, I poured myself a glass and then nearly choked on the first sip.  The stuff tasted like metal.  It had been poured from a 2 liter bottle, which was plastic.  I had to dump it out.

I gladly went back to my water.  I still like my sweet tea, as far as I know.  I haven't had any of that in a while.  I'm saving that for the next special occasion.  I'm not sure when that will be.

Finally, I have two issue with the pedometer app.  One I have to remember to carry it or tuck it in my waistband when I move around. I'm not doing a very good job of that.  It is, however, a habit I can learn.  The other is, the app seems to eat up battery life like crazy.  I might have to use it to track steps when I'm actually on a walk.  I can create my challenge to get x number of work out steps per week or something like that.  I won't worry about that until I get back from camp.

The baby and mommy leave in the morning.  It will be back to my usual pattern until I leave for camp Sunday morning.  I'll probably weigh again before I leave since I won't be able to next week.  It will be interesting to see how the week impacts my weight.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

My Weekend

I had a great weekend with family.  I got in lots of fun with my nieces and lots of snuggles with the baby.  My nephew has gone back to home, his wife and the baby are staying a few more days so more time for cuddling.

I've done a decent job of keeping my food intake recorded.  I didn't always take my notebook with me since when family is in town we have a roving party from house to house.  I feel good about recording the food I ate, it is the water that I'm not sure of.  

I have a favorite water bottle that I carry almost all of the time.  I kept it with me all weekend and kept it topped off.  I didn't keep a good awareness of how many times, I topped it off.  I think, I came up short on the water.  Funny thing, that is the one thing I thought I had no issues regarding.  I drink a lot of water every day.  I drink water almost exclusively.

Other than the possible need to increase water intake, I've not found anything that is glaringly obvious to change with my food.  I'll keep the journal through the rest of the week.  I'll not try to keep up with it during camp next week.  I'll just eat what is prepared and pick up the food journal when I get back.

My very early conclusions are that eating is OK, and water could increase.  Wouldn't it be funny if all along, all I needed to do was add another glass or two of water to start shedding the weight!!??

The final component of my weight loss trifecta is exercise.  My fitness level is coming back and will continue to as long as I push myself.  Sadly, the pedometer challenge is on hiatus for now.  I dropped the pedometer and it stopped working.  

On Saturday, I went to the bathroom and it slipped off my waistband as I took my pants down.  It has happened plenty of times before in that situation.  I thought little off it and clipped it back on.  Saturday night, when I looked to see how many steps I had, I was shocked to see just over 3000.  I'd taken it off for a while when I was in the pool but even allowing for that, it seemed far too low. 

Sunday morning, I clipped the pedometer to my skirt and went to church.  Imagine my surprise, when I checked my number of steps mid morning and saw 0.  I walk about 1000 steps in the morning getting dressed!  By this time, I had dressed, gone to church and had taught the 4 and 5 year olds!  I was expecting 1500 minimum and more like 2000.  That is when I realized the pedometer probably broke in the bathroom.  I probably had 6000 steps if not more on Saturday considering the time of day it fell and what I did for the rest of the day.  (I walked the baby every chance I got!)

I've downloaded a step counter app to my iPod.  I'll see how that works.  I've got to have it with me all the time and I don't have a handy clip like the old school pedometer.  I'm not planning to take my iPod to camp since it is worthless there  since there is no wifi.  I've got a few days to see how this step counter app works.  In the meantime, I'm open to suggestions.

Friday, July 1, 2016

Smashed My Goal

I managed to average 6262 steps per day for the last half of the month!  I have earned myself a new outfit.  In fact, I've already ordered it.  And, I never bought myself the consolation prize of one article of clothing from the thrift store.  I think I'll table that second place prize for another time.  I'm going to the thrift store next week to get some grubby clothes for church camp.  If I find something dressy that I like I might get it or I might not.

Here are a few fun facts.   Since I started wearing the pedometer on May 15:
I have walked a total of 304,588 steps
I have averaged 6481 steps per day (all that beach walking is bringing it up)
I have burned 12,269 calories (which should translate to about a 3.5 lb loss)
I have walked 104.33 miles, or averaged 2.2 miles per day

Overall I'm pleased with the challenge, except for the not losing 3.5 pounds part.  I feel stronger.  I am definitely pushing my limits. I feel like I am on the right track and if I just stay with it the weight loss will follow.  It will take a while for me to get to the ultimate goal of 10,000 steps per day but I will if I don't quit.

I'm not upping my goal for the first 16 days of July mostly because I don't know how.  Family, including a newborn I have not yet met, is arriving today.  Parties are planned starting tomorrow through Monday.  The mommy and baby are staying through the end of the week.  Daddy has to go back home Tuesday morning.  I expect that a good portion of my free time next week will be spent with family.  My sister has a pool so I will take full advantage of that every chance I get.  Probably not a lot of steps but certainly a lot of fun!  Swimming is excellent exercise and if my sister lived closer I'd be giving myself swimming challenges.

The next week, I'll be at church camp.  I'm one of four people assigned to care for the peewee campers.  They range in age from 17 months to 8 years old.  We will have 14 every day but one.  That day we will have 16.  My job is to teach them a Bible lesson each day.  They will be with us for about an hour and they will have a craft to do too.  The others are taking care of that.  I'm not sure how I will fill up the other 23 hours of the day.  I know it will involve a lot of walking.  I hope I am strong enough from the last 6 weeks, that I won't overdo or set myself back in some way.  I am taking my cane and Rx in case things get bad.  Let's hope I don't need either.  I am also taking my own lawn chair that doesn't sink down so much, and has arms .

So, it could be lighter on steps next week and heavy the week after.  I'm hoping the average will still be 6000 per day.   If so, I'll get myself a nice casual outfit.  When I get back from camp, I'll assess the outcome and set a goal for the 17th through the end of the month, and decide on another reward.

I'll just be popping in and out from now until camp week.  Then I'll be totally off the grid.  I'll be having fun and will have lots of tales to tell.