Some of the clothes, I knew I'd never wear again and they quickly went in the donate pile. Other clothes were like seeing an old friend. I'd missed them, and I was glad to put them back in the rotation. Unfortunately, far too many of the clothes are too small. That was a smack to the forehead. And I needed it.
I'm not talking about those clothes I bought at a smaller weight. I'm talking about the ones I wore but left thinking I'd not need them for a week or two. I don't think the fibers drew up while they were hanging. I expanded.
Instead of getting angry and frustrated (although I did - a little bit), I took some time to really think about what I'm doing for my health and fitness. I stopped weighing thinking that was a good thing. It may have been at that time, but it allowed me to perceive I was doing things, very good things to get the weight off. I wasn't. Oh, I was doing things, I just wasn't making good assessments and thought if I kept on, that one day I'd wake up thin. That hasn't happened.
Now it is the time to fully assess what I'm doing, what I need to keep doing and what I need to change.
What were the very good things:
*Eating real food, prepared at home most of the time. This means meals that are protein and vegetable based, and snacks like fruit or nuts.
*Avoiding sugar and flour
*Setting the walking challenges with the pedometer
*Writing my mantra daily, along with personal affirmations
*Weighing weekly at the most, or hardly at all
*Eating real food, at home - it should. I have not kept a food journal, part of my more relaxed, make this part of my lifestyle approach. But we wound up eating out three times last week. That's a lot. More than usual, as least I think, and we went places where I could get vegetables.
*Avoiding sugar and white flour - again, I have no evidence since there is no food journal. And there were those brownies I made for church that weren't all eaten. I brought the leftovers home. I only ate one each day until they were gone. I even shared with 65MD.
*Setting walking challenges - I am truly challenged to meet the goals I set for myself. I can document the number of steps I've taken each day. I think this is working and will continue to as I continue to push myself.
*Writing my mantra & and affirmation each day. This is hard to measure. I think it is. I find myself making better choices, like only eating one brownie rather than a whole row. I opted for fruit over potato chips at a function the other day without even having an internal debate. That is probably due to that continual reinforcement.
What happens now:
In general I like the more relaxed approach. I'm calmer and happier about food now than I have been in a long time. Still, something must change. My weight is creeping up slowly rather than creeping down as I expected.
*Eating real food at home. I will continue to do this. I will keep a food log to better document what I eat each day. I will write Caesar salad, not 3 cups of romaine, 1 T Parmesan cheese, 13 croutons, etc. I will not go 'all accountant' on it and list every last calorie or carb. That is not sustainable and the reason I quit. For now, I'm keeping a general assessment of what I eat each day. Once I have a few weeks of logs, I can review and see what needs to happen.
*Avoiding flour and sugar. They are gone from my home prepared meals. They'd crept back in, since it was allowable. I'm struggling not to say they are banned completely because if I do have a little, I don't want to feel like I failed. However, the avoidance is definitely going to be kicked up significantly. I think the journal will help here too.
*Setting walking challenges - keep doing what I'm doing
*Writing my mantra & affirmation - keep doing what I'm doing
Also, I'm adding back weighing at least each week. For now, I'll hold off with all of the spreadsheets and graphs I love so much. Even though the scales are a poor indicator, they are the most immediate reflection of progress.
Looking ahead, I have company coming at least two times in the next few weeks, a week at church camp in July (more on that later), and then it is on to birthdays, anniversaries, and on and on. There will always be an excuse to start tomorrow or next week, or even next month. That indicates to me that I need to figure out how to truly make weight loss a lifestyle. I've got to learn how to navigate family functions, trips and the like without feeling deprived, nor sabotaging my weight loss/health goals. This is a very daunting task. Thanks for supporting me on this journey!