Total Weight Loss

Monday, September 10, 2012

I'm Discouraged

I had a very hard week last week.  I am so discouraged.  I feel like I'm doing what needs to be done to lose weight, but I'm not seeing the results I think I should.  Last week, I rebelled.  I knew then that I'd be even more unhappy today than I was last week, but I just could not muster the strength to do what I knew to be right.

Let me be clear about my week.  I did NOT binge or do anything outrageous with my eating.  I simply ate what I wanted to, when I wanted to, in amounts that I wanted to.  I kept a food journal and really, I did not eat horribly.  I don't keep sweets in the house, and I'm not the type to go out and buy something to eat.  Several times, however, I ate more than I should because it was there.

I continued to wear my pedometer all of the time, but did not take a walk.  All of the steps I had were steps I take during the normal course of my day.  I just could not get up the desire.  It seemed so pointless.  Only one day did I get over 10,000 steps.  Most days it was around 5000.

The only 'good' thing I did was continue to drink water.  Mostly because that was my only choice at home.  There were no epic battles of should I drink this or not.  When I got thirsty, I drank water.  I want the water so it is not hard to get in 64+ ounces every day.  Most days it is far closer to 100 if not more.

I want eating and exercise to be like the water is for me, but it isn't.  Truth be told, I would not care if I was told I could never eat another green vegetable.  (That is of course, if I didn't have to suffer the consequences!)  I'm not to the point where I think I'm hungry and I automatically reach for something healthy and nourishing.  I reach for what is handy and quick. 

I want exercise to be something I miss when I can't.  Instead, I'm perfectly content to sit at the laptop and see what is happening on facebook, or surf the 'net, or see what is on the food channel.  I don' t miss exercise.  It is an evil necessity for weight loss still in my estimation.

I spent a lot of time this week trying to figure out why I had not been able to maintain my 92 pound weight loss.  I recognize that I felt much better physically and mentally then.  I tried to figure out why it wasn't important enough to me that I let it slip away.  Why is it, that I refuse to recognize the link between healthy eating and exercise with feeling good and weight loss?  How was I able to lose the weight then and can't know?

The short answer is I don't know for sure.  One thing I did finally realize is that initially, I had a purpose.  Initially, I HAD to lose weight in order to skydive.  Now, apparently, it isn't that important.  I need to figure out how to capture that desire again; how to find that inner resolve and determination that led me through those days. That is where I am now.

I guess these times of introspection are good and needed.  I sure don't like them very much.

I have walked 640 miles this year and weigh 202.4.  And, I'm bummed.

Eating the right food is one of the most difficult things to concur when trying to lose weight. An experienced dietician can help you put together a diet plan which you can work towards to help with weight loss. There are a number of dieticians which can be found at one of the local private hospitals in London.


  1. I basically did the same last week. It was a week full of bday celebrations and my anniversary. I didn't binge but I ate what I wanted, when I wanted and how much I wanted. It was like a vacation from my reality. I was 7 lbs over my maintaining weight. Yesterday, I was 15 lbs over my maintaining weight. My vacation is over and it's back to work. That's how I'm looking at regrets, just back to work and routine.

  2. So sad to me that I don't know what to say to encourage you. Except to say I understand and have been there so many times. And am probably one or two really bad eating days away from the slippery slope again. The full year before I began losing weight again felt much like you described. I thought I was doing all the right things, yet the scale simply would not move and when it did, it moved UP. So depressing. Then I would try something radical out of desperation thinking if I could just lose a quick 5 or 10 pounds, the motivation would kick in and I'd be on my way. Unfortunately, that didn't work either. Just don't give up - I'm just so certain that one day soon the whole thing will come together and you'll be moving in the right direction consistently again.

  3. I'm so sorry that you're discouraged. I think it is wonderful that you didn't binge just because you were down and upset. That is a HUGE deal. Any amount of things could be going on in your body that made it gain or hold on to weight that week. As far as not making an effort to walk, we all have blah weeks or days or hours in a day. It'll pass, but you may have to FORCE IT to pass. You'll have to put forth the effort and then watch that effort put you back in your groove. Vent on your blog as much as you need to!!! It's very therapeutic!

  4. I think it's a very common thinking pattern so many of us go through. I know there are high highs and very low lows. I always think of you as plugging along...more than what I do. Things will turn around you just wait and see.

  5. I ditto everyone else. I've been there and done it. Many times. I'm also only one meal away at all times from a total blow out.

    The one thing I did this time was to not reintroduce any trigger foods including wheat, grain, and almost all processed sugar. I still want to over eat, but less often an I get some peace of mind when I'm not triggering myself all the time. No easy answers.

    On the next upswing of motivation , maybe back to loss or a new way to loose ? Never give up. You are worth it.

  6. good lord darlin it's scary how you climb in my head and write what i'm thinking! i've had a blah couple of weeks myself and my 100 day challenge has fallen by the side of the road. i do KNOW this funk too shall pass, as yours will! make sure you're doin daily affirmations and i'd suggest journaling as well (about feelings not food) to see if you can spot a trend. the best useless advice i can offer you already know. keep moving forward, stay focused, don't give up or give in. keep telling yourself the positives til the lie becomes the truth. i know you've heard it all before but it's all i got. just know you're worth it and you're never alone! xoxoxoxoxoxo

  7. Aw Friend, I know how you feel. Been there!! Feels like I'm just about to come out of it. I think, for me, season changes are hard. I kind of flounder for a while and then I get back on Just remember that this feeling is not forever!! Something that has helped me, is I did a bucket list for fall. Gave me something to look forward to and get excited about! Just a thought!

    Stay focused!!!