"Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last...
Those opening lines to Big Daddy Weave's "Redeemed" were running through my head yesterday morning as I read this from Jesus Calling:
"Thank Me for the very things that are troubling you...you are tempted to indulge in just a little complaining...the best protection against this indulgence is thanksgiving...Thanking Me for trials will feel awkward and contrived at first. But if you persist, your thankful words, prayed in faith will eventually make a difference in your heart. Thankfulness awakens you to My Presence, which overshadows your problems.
Of course this was read with the struggle of weight loss on my mind. Because it is. Constantly. It has been a struggle since I started in March, 2009. There have been sweet spots of weight loss to be sure, but it hasn't been that way all along. Obviously. If I had a straight line down the scale, this blog would have a very different tone. Besides, the fact that I would have achieved my goal weight a long time ago.
Nope. Instead I struggled and I still do.
Somehow as I read those words and heard those lyrics in my head yesterday, it all made sense. I had to struggle. And as much as I hate to type this, the struggle isn't over. The struggle is vital. Without the struggle weight loss will never be permanent. The struggle is required to rewire my brain. To retrain my head and heart to think about food differently. That isn't easy.
The struggle is also a necessity because of compassion. If, five years ago, I skated down the scales without a hitch, I'd have little to no compassion for others walking this path. Now, I look around me and see the others on this journey and my heart goes out to them. I want to help. I want to share the lessons I've learned. I know that every one's struggle is different; what helps me may or may not help another. Still I am compelled to offer what I can.
As much as I want to help and share, I need to receive help from my fellow travelers. That is probably the hardest part. Maybe even harder than turning down some off limits food. I don't like admitting that I need help. We are all on this journey together. I am no better and I am no worse than anyone else traveling this path. We all have our own struggles. And together we will overcome the struggles. Together we will get the healthy bodies we so desire.
Thanks for being my travel companion!