In the Interim

It has been almost three years since I blogged, and I am so surprised that so many of my blog friends jumped in with a comment.  Blogging in obscurity was fine with me, but since I got so much support from the earlier post I thought I would expand a bit on what happened during the last three years.

My quest for health and fitness didn't change, it took a new course into the body acceptance arena.  That was and is a very good thing.  I read the book, Secrets of the Eating Lab by Traci Mann.  Get it and read it.  It really opened my eyes to the *why* of eating and set me on a journey of a lot more reading and research.

In time, I realized that there were issues surrounding the disordered eating habits I had developed and I needed to get some professional help.  I found a therapist that specialized in disordered eating.  We did not discuss what I had eaten each day.  We did not discuss how many carbs, calories, fat grams or anything else regarding what I ate, when I ate or how much I ate.  Instead we talked about life.  

I was depressed.  I knew that.  I spent a lot of my life depressed.  After a few sessions, I felt comfortable enough to share with her a memory from my childhood surrounding food.  As we uncovered the feelings underneath the memory, I was able to deal with the feelings as feelings.  It was hard and involved a lot of tears.  We dealt with several hard memories from childhood during the time I spent seeing her.

In time, I realized that some of my favorite foods would sit in the refrigerator or in the cabinet for days uneaten.  Sometimes, I actually forgot they were there until I saw them.  We were really on to something.  Life intervened and I decided to stop therapy.  

My mother got sick, moved in and then died.  That needed my entire focus.  Now, I'm embarking on the weight loss journey again.  This time, with more peace about food and a greater understanding of why I made some of the choices I did years ago.  This time, I'm expecting better, more lasting results.

Thanks for joining me.