I decided to treat myself to bacon as my protein this morning. I decided that a few days ago. It fits within the guidelines I decided upon, except it is not really the healthiest protein. It is protein and not carb, so that is good and I felt like I needed a treat.
I should stop here and add that within the eating time frame, I want to eat between 1200-1500 calories based on my metabolic reading earlier this week. But, I also decided that I needed a little brain break from counting calories and measuring food. I don't want to fall back down that rabbit hole of good food vs bad food and guilt over straying from tight restrictions. So, between now and Monday, I'll eat between 11:00 and 7:00 within the earlier guidelines but let satiety be my measure rather than a calorie count.
So, I got out the bacon this morning and proceeded to cook the whole pound. I do that because I hate to cook bacon and I'd rather just cook it all and have it on hand for later. While I was cooking, I looked at the calorie count - about 45 calories per slice. A serving was two (what??) slices or 90 calories. Then I thought about the sodium and how only two measly slices would likely cause a major jump in body weight.
I stood in the kitchen HUNGRY with bacon and I was afraid to eat it. I am scared, truly fearful of runaway regain. It has happened before. The odds are truly stacked against keeping weight off. And, I really need to lose a lot more weight to get into a healthier weight. So, what was I to do? Eat the bacon? Yes. I did.
I decided that I could not be ruled by fear. Respect for what and how much food I eat is great, and I want to cultivate that. I want to make good choices about what I eat, but I spent too much time in that place where I felt like I was a bad person because of the food choices I made. I will not live there again.
I ate only bacon this morning. I have drunk a lot of water because I have been quite thirsty. Hello, sodium! It is now 3:30 and I've not become hungry. I'm going with it. I'm preparing supper because I think I will be hungry for it later. I will eat until I feel satisfied. I will stop and wait for 11:00 tomorrow to eat again. I can do this.
Some stats for anyone interested and not triggered by numbers: I lost exactly 25 pounds and 39.5 inches. I lost 3.75 inches from my waist and a full 8 inches off my hips! I measured everywhere, arms, legs, ribcage, etc to make up the total lost.
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