I Wanted Fruit

This morning just before lunchtime, one of my coworkers came walking down the hall towards me. She was wearing one of those cute sling backpacks, because she's just stylish that way, but more importantly, she was carrying a container of chopped fruit. It was one of those containers that comes from the grocery store already chopped. It was so pretty and refreshing looking. I wanted that fruit. I wanted her to offer me some just like I used to want people to offer me cookies, but alas she did not.

Another co-worker offered me doughnuts, but I really didn't want one. There were even some snowman shaped ones. They were probably even cream filled. To make the snowman, there was a doughnut without a hole in it for the body and a doughnut hole above that to make the head. They were cute to say the least, but they really had no appeal to me. That particular brand of doughnut just isn't my favorite. They taste a little oily to me. They always have. The difference now is, if I don't love it, I don't want it. It isn't worth it.

I've become a little hesitant lately to point out those small changes that are taking place for several reasons. One, I don't want to come across as a braggart; two, it seems like once I become aware and pleased with myself about something I immediately stumble; and three. sometimes they are so small they are almost imperceptible.

But, today I am setting a goal to blog at least one NSV each week. I'm running the risk of being perceived a braggart, but that is a risk I'm willing to take. I'm determined to break the cycle of two steps forward, one step back, because I think it is important to look for those nearly imperceptible changes. Those small changes, the ones that happen without that internal struggle, or at least not any more, are the ones that will last. They are the things that become second nature. Things like choosing fruit over doughnuts because that is what I really want. I think those small changes get lost in the epic ones and all I focus on are those.

I want to raise my own level of awareness regarding those changes, and be happy with myself for those things. I don't want to be down on myself because exercise is a battle every day for me, or that I still want cookies like crazy. It is all to easy for me to notice that struggle and feel like I am failing, when all around me are those little choices moment by moment, when I make the right choice and don't even realize it.

Care to join me? Every Thursday I'm going to blog about the little things I've done that week that were good choices. I don't know how many weeks I'll go. We all might decide it is too braggadocios, or we all might move in to a place of better acceptance of ourselves. Let's see what happens.