This is Hard

 I don't think I've ever tried to adhere to any eating goals this time of the year, other than indulge!!  Even last year after I'd lost the largest amount of weight in my life, I don't remember struggling like this.  Which is one reason I wish I'd had started this blog earlier.  I think these memories fade.


Today we had our office Christmas party.  It was a lunch event.  The food was quite good, also very rich and high calorie.  I ate it knowing that I'd have my drink this evening.  That was the plan all along, but now I'm struggling not to go grab something sweet.


I almost let myself not exercise, but I did.  That was really a big victory.  I had no excuse not to, and I knew I'd have to report on Saturday, so I did.  Go, me.  Now, I'm blogging to keep from eating.  I want cookies!!


Tomorrow should be a good, clean eating day. I have no challenges to derail me except my own little brain.  Thursday, I have lunch with a woman that may assist J-boy and me facilitate our grief group in January.  I can handle that with a small salad.  J-boy's college party is Friday, and the university has two holiday gatherings, one of which is Sunday.  Sunday is also our church Christmas program with cookies & cocoa. 

I know I have to be extra good now, if I want to have a small treat or two over the weekend. Instead, I keep thinking that old way of 'chuck it all until the first of the year'.  That is what had kept me overweight & obese for so long.  That is what needs to change.  Change is hard.  This is hard, but I'll be glad when the scale is down on January 1.  No cookies tonight!