I don't have much to say as far as weight loss is concerned. I feel like I should write something though. This may not be worth the time it takes for me to write though. Feel free to skip ahead if I ramble on too much. I really don't have a topic in mind.
I am losing weight which is a good thing. I've got a long way to go to re-lose all of the weight I gained back at the end of the year so I'm not getting to excited just yet. I am glad that the momentum has shifted and I'm headed down the scale rather than up. That is a very good thing.
Last year did not end well for me personally with the illness of my mother and issues with my hip being the two biggest downers. I have done a lot of contemplating about the year. It is easy to say that 2012 was not a good year and I am glad that it is over. But I can't let the last month or so of the year taint the entire year or even that month. We got a sweet baby girl added to our family in December. I was able to fulfill a life long dream of working from home. While the cash flow could be better, we are doing OK and I feel confident that it will improve soon.
This year, started with a funeral. I have another one to attend today. I'm trying very hard not to write off 2013 already. I'm telling myself that I'll get the bad part over early in the year and end on a high note this year.
While I don't like what has happened lately, I'm not down or depressed about it. I'm content inside on a deep inner level that is hard to explain. I feel sad for my friends that have lost loved ones. I'll shed a tear today as I did at the other funeral I attended, but I'm not getting bogged down in it. I hope this doesn't sound callous or cold hearted. It is far from it. It is an inner quieting of my spirit. It feels good.
I've noticed this quite a bit in my life lately. I just don't beat myself up over things like I once did. I am getting out of the habit of defining myself by my perceived failures. I am learning how to re-frame what I once thought was a failure as a good thing. It takes practice and I'm still learning, but I like this new way of being.
Thanks for sticking with me to the end.
January 1, 2019: 187 Pounds... and a Plan
5 years ago
Awwww, you ramble on woman! It's your blog. Say what you want. I don't think you sound cold hearted. I think you sound like you are learning to process things in your life as they happen to you. I am, too, hopeful that 2013 is going to be a much better year than 2012 in a lot of diff ways. :)
ReplyDeleteYou never ramble....IMHO, that's what our blogs are for. Another tool which helps us process thoughts and actions. The includes the good and the bad, the exciting and the mundane, the normal days and the extraordinary days. You did have a pretty full plate at times last year. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteYou've had a lot to deal with and it's your blog so ramble on! I'm wishing you a better year in 2013.
ReplyDeleteNot rambling at all. I love your thought processes! And congrats on moving forward!
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