Happy New Year one and all. I had a fabulous time with family and friends the past several days. The first group of family left today and the last two will leave Friday. That is good, it will ease me back in to 'real life' again.
I ended the year with 926 miles. I fell short of what I thought I could do during the last week of the year. Although I felt active, I just didn't get the steps in that I thought I could. During the last month or so, when it became apparent that the 1000 mile goal wasn't going to happen, I did a lot of contemplating about the challenge itself and why I started.
I started the challenge for two main reasons:
1. Fitness/weight loss
2. Because the odds of being successful were low
Number one is pretty obvious. I make a lot of decisions regarding my time and resources based on that. Not a surprise to anyone, I'm sure. The second may need a little explanation.
I've struggled with perfectionism along with my weight during this entire journey. I've blogged about it multiple times, so I won't belabor that point. I will simply say that most of my life I didn't take on many things when the odds of 'winning' weren't in my favor. A challenge like this would have been given a swift 'no thank you' without a single thought in times past. In fact, initially, I did say that.
Then I began to realize perhaps this is just what I needed. Even though it could be done, I knew myself well enough to know that not making it was also a large possibility. I started the year with great resolve and a spreadsheet, just like I always do. I fretted all through January because I was behind my desired timeline and the graphs weren't looking good.
One of my friends IRL also doing the challenge really helped me to calm down about the whole thing. I settled in to a pattern in which I did the best I could each day given the circumstances of the day. At work, I walked the long way to & from the restroom and strolled around the parking lot at lunch. When I started working from home, I did laps around the house weather permitting. I parked in the furthermost spot when going to the store. I took the long way through the store (although I'm not sure is this was the best thing for my budget!)
Some of those things, like parking far away are so deeply ingrained that I'm sure I will continue them. I like not fighting for the closest spot. I don't mind taking the long way around the store most of the time. I'm learning to relax and not rush through the store and that is spilling over in to the rest of my life. I'm letting go of the agendas I so often create. I'm a calmer person because of it.
I must say that during the last month, particularly when my mother was so ill, I felt burdened by the challenge. I think that the old me was upset that I was not going to 'win' this time. Even though I have nothing to hang my head about, I didn't get in the 1000 miles. The old me would have wanted to get 1001 at a minimum. Now, I've got to learn how to make a respectable showing be good enough for me.
I had initially said that I would keep the pedometer on until I reached 1000 miles, but I changed my mind. I put it in a drawer this morning and will live with the fact that I only walked 926 miles this year and that is just fine.
1 month ago