On Roller Coasters

I love a good roller coaster.  In fact, give me a thrill ride any time.  At an amusement park, I'm always up for the fastest, scariest ride in the park.  This comes as no surprise, I'm sure, to those who know me in real life, and those readers who have been with me from the beginning, since skydiving was the reason I lost weight to begin with. A few years ago, 65MD and I bought wristbands allowing us unlimited rides when the fair came to down.  I left him in the dust after about the second or third ride.  He got an upset stomach from one and had to sit down.  I, on the other hand, would go ride something and then go check on him!  I'd do it again, except for the part about 65MD getting nauseated from the rides.  

My niece is turning 3 in a few weeks and she's getting a bouncy house at her party.  I am determined to bounce in it!  Her mother is dubious as is my therapist.  So, my therapy is now working on balance and stability.  At this point, I can get in the house and lay down if no one else in there!  I have three more sessions to work up to standing and then actually jumping.  The fear, of course, is falling and hurting someone or damaging fragile, hardly healed tissues.  I don't want that at all, so I will be smart when the time comes.

As much as I enjoy the excitement of roller coaster rides, it is only those in the park I enjoy.  I do NOT like the roller coaster rides life doles out.    Right now I'm on a recovery roller coaster.

Monday, was a great day.  It was a real glimpse of what life could be like in a few months.  I wasn't 100% pain free, but I felt good.  I felt like I could do whatever I wanted.  I knew the feeling wouldn't last, and tried to pace myself and temper my feelings.  It was/is hard to do.  When I finally felt good, I wanted to conquer the world.  Part of me wanted to strike while the iron was hot because I knew the feeling wouldn't last.  The other part wanted to preserve the good feeling by taking it a little more slowly.  I don't think either side 'won' the battle.

Tuesday came and I felt bad again.  I had pain in the incision site, my muscles were sore like I'd done some crazy workout routine (I'd had therapy), my stomach was upset (side effect from medicine) and I was freezing!  It was made all the worse by the day I'd had on Monday.  I knew what it felt like to feel good and knew it was within my grasp, just not then.  It is frustrating to say the least.

Today, is shaping up to be more like Monday.  My incision hurts but at a low level.  I can take this pain.  It is nothing like what I've been through and I know it is temporary.  It is a wound that is going to take time to heal.

As I was going to sleep last night, I started thinking about how all of life is like a roller coaster ride.  There are peaks and valleys.  Sometimes, the valleys are deep and last longer than we want and the peaks can be all to fleeting.  This is true in weight loss, relationships, work and everything else.  It is life.  I, for one, have got to figure out a way to enjoy life's roller coaster as much as I do the ones at the park.