I've been working on a few posts on varying weight loss related issues, like exploring the motivation issue a little more or sharing some of the latest mind games I'm playing. But those posts will have to wait until another day. Today, I have to share my week.
On Monday, I had reason to believe that my computer had been breached and all of my private information had been stolen. I totally freaked out. I called everyone I knew with technical knowledge asking how to repair the problem. Every 'fix' I was given felt much like closing the barn door after the cow had escaped. At any rate, I spent the past two days doing everything possible to ensure the safety of my data.
Tuesday was the busiest. I changed all of my passwords from another computer, not the one I generally use. Of course that took a while because between email, bank and social froums, I had a lot of passwords. I selected a unique password for each venue which was the easy part. The hard part was getting to the right place to log on to those sites since I did not have the benefit of my bookmarks. Most of the passwords, I remembered even though many of them are saved for me. This consumed me all day.
What does this have to do with weight loss? I'm getting to that point now.
I was totally stressed and had a knot in my stomach that made me feel quite nauseated. I noticed the time at about 1:00 pm and realized, I'd not had a bite to eat all day. I did not want to eat. The thought really did trigger my gag reflex. So, I went with it. I didn't eat. After all, I really didn't have time to spare to go prepare something to eat. I had to get the passwords changed and scans done. When 65MD got home that evening, I did eat a little supper. He was much calmer than I was about the whole situation and helped me to calm myself some.
When I weighed Wednesday I had dropped 1.8 lbs! I think my metabolism must have been running in high gear all day because of the nervous energy. That coupled with minimal food finally led to a significant loss.
Now, I don't advocate losing weight this way, but I'm looking to it as a bright spot in all of the chaos around me now. This morning I had not regained the weight after a more normal eating day yesterday. I spent a large chunk of yesterday rescanning and double checking. I've heard too many horror stories about people getting hacked.
This was a very, very scary situation for me and I wonder if this had happened 4 years ago, would my reaction been different physically? I think I would have had a knot in my stomach, but I wonder if I would have tried to push the knot away with food. I wonder if I would have tried to squelch the fear with more food. I wonder if I would've emerged from this situation heavier rather than lighter. Who knows? We don't live parallel lives to answer such questions with certainty.
I do know that I did not use food to fix anything associated with this problem. It never even occurred to me. I faced what I had to face as head on as I possibly could and food took the back seat. I think that is emotional growth.
Let's hope I don't have to realize emotional growth this way again. This was horrible and I don't think I could endure it again. My mind has eased some, but I don't think I'll ever relax again when it comes to my safety and privacy on the web.
1 month ago