Towards the end of the summer, I was getting ready for work one day, standing in front of the bathroom mirror. I was wearing a black tank type dress, that had a little spandex in it. I noticed that my silhouette on my left side was looking quite nice. My waist tapered in nicely and then my hip gently curved back out. I smiled thinking I was developing an hour glass figure. Then I looked to my right. I quit smiling.
My waist tapered in nicely just as on my left side, but my hip came out at an almost 90 degree angle. How had I not noticed that before?!?!? Surely my dress was hung on something, or my underwear had bunched up somehow, but no. I had a massive protrusion on my right hip.
I immediately found John and asked if he noticed anything, and he did. He tried to say that it wasn't noticeable, but it was. I had already intended to wear something over the dress to be more professional at work, but now I made sure to wear something that covered that monstrosity up.
I had an appointment with my gyn in the next few days so I showed it her. She looked and felt, but couldn't find anything. Whew...it wasn't a tumor. She wasn't sure what it was and encouraged me to see my PCP.
I had an appointment with him coming up. He knew nothing of my weight loss, since this was a follow up on my new allergy treatment. I was looking forward to surprising him with the weight loss, but then this blob popped up and took precedence.
A month or so went by between appointments, but the blob did not lessen. Of course, my PCP was quite pleased with the weight loss, but the hip blob was quite shocking still. He poked and prodded and had me move this way & that, and finally pronounced it as adipose tissue!! Oh yea, a massive glob of fat, right there for the world to see.
He encouraged me to see a cosmetic surgeon. His opinion was that I had worked hard to lose weight and I owed it to myself to have this removed. Clearly, no amount of dieting and exercise was going to eliminate it. So I went.
I had never been to a cosmetic surgeon's office before. It was in Brentwood. The waiting room was clean and serene. There as a little waterfall on the table. The magazines were neatly displayed and current. Saying that I felt out of place with my gigantic hip blob, would be an understatement. But the doctor was fabulous!
He took a lot of time looking at the blob. He agreed it was adipose tissue and could only be removed surgically. He did not, however, encourage me in that direction at all. This doctor specializes in skin removal/reconstructive type surgies for individuals that have lost significant amounts of weight. This guy knew is stuff, for sure.
He spent a great deal of time encouraging me to continue the weight loss, and repeatedly told me how great I looked. Oh for sure!! I was wearing one of those paper gowns that was too small to come together in the front and I had a paper 'blanket' across my lap. Right, I looked good. He went on to explain that he had seen women that had lost over 100 lbs, and that I did indeed look good.
Of course, that made me feel better about myself, but what really impressed me about this guy was his realism with the whole weight loss thing. It is hard, and no matter how hard you try, your body will bear the scars of the excess weight. A lot of people don't understand this, and when they get to their goal, their body isn't perfect, it upsets them to the point that they regain the weight.
He stressed to me that my body shape at 250 was going to be the same shape at 150, only smaller. I have experience that to a small degree already. In my late 20's I lost a significant amount of weight and still thought I looked like a pregnant woman that had just started showing. No matter what, I could not lose that bulge. Believe me, abs of steel had nothing on me. I could do any ab exercise out there. I could have competed in the crunch Olympics if there had been such a thing. I had the bulge still. I gradually let my weight go up. I got so frustrated with my stomach.
He also told me that whatever problems I had at work/home/school would still exist no matter my weight. So many times dieters develop a utopian mentality with regard to thin-ness. As if, all of their daily battles will suddenly be gone. I'm not sure if I have that mindset, but I still appreciated being forewarned, so that I can be on the look out for it developing.
As I have continued to lose weight, I have found his words ringing true over & over again. I'm developing a turkey waddle under my chin, where my other chins used to be. I've been doing neck exercises, but consciously remind myself that is a small price to pay and that the changes going on inside my body are far more important than a wiggly chin.
I have not had any surgery. The blob is still there. I'm not sure what I'll do about it. I might give myself a little cosmetic procedure as a reward when I get to my goal, but I'm not yet sure on that.
BTW, I saw my PCP today. He's still quite proud of my efforts. I'll blog more about our conversation later. This is getting too long.
2 weeks ago