Fear, Feelings & Fasting

I am feeling smaller these days.  I feel like my clothes are fitting better.  I feel healthy, with not so many aches & pains.  Those are all just feelings and are not confirmed by the scales.  In fact, the scales are up slightly.  Darn it all, I'm still not back to the pre-wedding weight!!!

BUT, while feelings are just that and cannot be confirmed, I'm going with them.  I like feeling good.  I don't think I'm in denial about any food issues.  I feel like I have been 100% on plan.  I feel like the slight up tick is probably due to the weight bearing exercise I've been doing lately called carrying a baby.  I feel like if I stay the course and continue to eat well and carry that child, the scales will catch up to me.  I might even have a sudden drop.  It has happened before.  

 It is hard for me though.  I am a results oriented person.  I like tangible evidence.  If I'm not getting the results I want then I want to fix things.  I want to change what needs to be changed in order to see the results I want.  I fear my feelings because I can't measure them.  They are fickle.  They don't always reflect reality.  I don't want to rock along feeling that everything is OK and then suddenly realize I've missed something and wasted a bunch of time.

Now, is the time to trust myself.  Now, is the time to do what I know to be right and know that my feelings are accurate.  Now is the time to just hold on.  Now is a time of faith for me.  Waiting and trusting myself are two of the hardest things for me to do.  I can do hard things.  I will do hard things.

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And, about the grocery fast - Other than the fresh lemons, we haven't noticed any real difference in our eating habits.  We have agreed that the fast will continue in one form or another beyond June.  We haven't quite figured out the details yet.  65MD wants us to live off of "food stamp income" when we do return to shopping.  I think that is a fine idea, even though I'm fairly certain that we live within that already. According to my research so far, we do.  I'm going to do a little more investigating to be sure.  In any case, we are NOT feeling a pinch and we haven't changed our lifestyle.

Next week, our lifestyle will change a bit and I'm hoping the change will have a greater impact on this little adventure.  Next week, my mother will be moving in with us for a few days.  She is having the floors redone in her house and needs to be out for a week or so during that process.  We have all agreed that this is no reason to go to the store.  Although, she is on a restricted diet for health reasons, we have the fresh food from our garden that will easily see us through the time she is here.  She is excited to join us for a week on this little quest.  I am too.  I'm hoping this will shake things up a bit.  We'll see.