In My Dreams? Really!?!

I've blogged before about my vivid dreams.  I had another one last night that I just had to share.

In my dream my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, sisters & brothers in law) were all attending a performance of some sort.  An aunt had made the arrangements and the rest of us were just showing up.  She had blocks of seats in a couple of areas at the performance hall so that groups of family would be seated together.  

I was the first to arrive in my section.  I don't know where 65MD was; maybe parking the car?  I sat alone in a group of seats that were more like bleachers than theater seats.  My space was far too small for my body.  It was uncomfortable.  I knew that 65MD was on his way and was hoping that he would not need as much room as he was assigned since I was spilling over in to it.  

As I was waiting, I struck up a conversation with a little girl seated nearby.  She was not a member of my family.    She was trying to guess something about me, which I cannot remember.  It was something like guessing my age.  Anyway, as she was gathering information to make her attempt, she asked if I was pregnant.  I told her that I was not, that I just had a fat belly.  I told her that I'd always had a fat belly.  She was astonished and asked if that was true even as a little girl.  I assured her that it was.  

That is all of the specifics of the dream that I recall except for how I was feeling during the dream.  I was happy to be at this event and glad to see my family.  My feelings changed when I could not fit in my space.  It was physically painful and embarrassing to me as I looked for a solution to my problem.  I was happy for the distraction of the sweet little girl.  She was innocent and was only seeking information not taunting me for my size.  Even as I told her that I was fat, I was enjoying the chat with the child.  In my dream, I was laughing as I told her I'd always had a fat belly.  It was akin to telling her that I'd always had green eyes or something similar.

When I woke up and recalled the dream that I began to wonder if there was something deeper going on in my psyche.  I'm not smart enough to truly ferret out these things.  Initially, I wondered why my subconscious had joined the battle of beating up on me for my body shape.  As I analyzed my feelings during the dream though, I was not upset at all with the child or her question.  I was upset about not squeezing in the seat.

So, perhaps it means I am making peace with the shape of my body, but not with the size.  Any other thoughts would be welcome.