Saturday

When I went to bed Friday night, I knew that Saturday was going to be a busy day.  It would be one of those days where I had to stay on task all day to accomplish everything that I had planned.  I had no idea just how the day would turn.

My plans were to clean house thoroughly and prep a meal for Sunday. Sunday was the day my family had selected for our monthly meal together. Coupled with that, 65MD's daughter was coming through town and needed a place to stay Saturday night.  Since our day was already quite full we agreed to take her to dinner that night rather than try and prepare another meal, not to mention the extra cleaning.  We selected a place we knew would be good for our eating plans, no issues there.

I began checking items off my list as planned, when I got some news I did not want to hear.  (I am sorry to do this, but I can't share the news.  I've been asked not to, but no one is dead or near death.)  I had been praying against this very issue for so long, I was stunned when I got the word.  I really felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach.  Suddenly, nothing really mattered about the meal prep or the house cleaning.

I told myself over and over that this all would work out for the best and I didn't know the end of the story yet and all of those platitudes that are supposed to help.  That are supposed to make folks feel better, but it didn't help.

65MD's daughter had the unfortunate timing to show up just as I'd gotten the news.  I was too overcome to do anything more that sit like a statue while she prattled on about her trip and the various other 'goings on' in her life.  I hadn't even told 65MD yet.  When she went outside to get her bags in for the night, I broke down sobbing and told 65MD.  Of course, there was nothing to be done at the time so we went out to eat as planned.  I didn't even look at the menu.  I knew what I wanted and ordered it.  I could hardly eat though.  I ate what I could and brought the rest home. (It is still in the refrigerator.)

My family came over yesterday as planned.  They had all gotten the same news.  It was good for us to be together and sort things out a bit. Again, I couldn't eat.  The food had no appeal and little taste.  In an effort to find something tasty, I allowed myself some carbs that ordinarily I would not have. They weren't good either.

While, I did not keep a food log, my perception is that I have eaten very little since midday on Saturday, but my weight is up over 3 pounds!!!  I know the carbs have caused me to hold water, and I'm wondering if there is some sort of stress reaction going on too.  Our bodies are more delicate than we realize and react in strange ways.  

I'm doing my best to tow the line today about my eating.   Even though my heart isn't in it right now, I know for sure that if I allow myself to regain any more weight it will only frustrate me further and I have all I can deal with now from the other situation.

I am sorry this is so cryptic.  I know the situation will be resolved when the time is right and all will be well.  It is just hard to live through.  Thanks in advance for supporting me through this.