First, I stopped the hcg shots. That is always hard. The hardest part is staying on plan for 48 hours after the last shot. Hunger begins to return along with all sorts of "very good" reasons to eat before the 48 hours is up. The closer it gets to 48 hours the harder it is. I managed to stay strong and not indulge.
Second this whole surgery thing has thrown me for a loop. Suddenly, I'm helpless. Not really, but I started thinking that maybe I shouldn't sweep the floor or do various other household tasks that I do all the time. It is weird.
Plus, I'm not good living in limbo. I spent the whole weekend second guessing if I should plan this or that. What if I plan something and that is surgery time? What if surgery is this date and rehab takes longer than three weeks/
I spent the whole weekend battling with myself. Should I do this or that? Should I eat this or not? It was torture. As I said, I stayed strong and did not eat off of plan, that was the bright spot of the weekend.
Today, I have the surgery date - September 30. Much too long to wait I think, but nothing I can do about it. Sigh! I'll, once again, have to stay strong until then. Now, I need to decide if I should start back on the hcg between now & then.
You've got a lot on your plate and coming up. Don't beat yourself up. Try to remember to live in the here and now - not in the future....big hugs!..
ReplyDeleteI am so glad they didn't leave you in waiting about the date. Now you know and you can make decisions around that date. You are fine. Breathe! :)
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