Total Weight Loss

Monday, February 15, 2016

I Just Do Not Know

I am at the point of being nearly inarticulate when it comes to describing my life.  I try to focus on the positive and be honest about the negative.  I've described life lately as a roller coaster up - up one day and down the next.  Now it is just a giant bundle of craziness.  Instead of trying to analyze or learn some great message, I'll just share what has happened since my last post in chronological order.  I'll leave it to the reader to determine the good vs bad and perhaps even share with me the lesson I should be learning.  

Friday was a short work day for me.  I got the essentials done and was packed and ready to go when 65MD came home.  He was eager to get on the road to the surprise destination.  We left a little earlier than he anticipated.  Even as we were getting in the car to leave, he would not tell me where we were going.  I joked about him blindfolding me.  He didn't.  We got on the interstate and headed east.  I questioned him the entire way guessing places about an hour away.  Every time we went by an exit with a Motel 6 or Red Roof Inn, he'd act like this was our exit.  It was all in jest and we had a nice ride.

When we did exit the interstate, he handed me some map quest directions and told me to navigate.  Of course, I refused saying if he wanted me to navigate, he should have told me from the beginning or at least answered my questions on the way.  His comeback was, we'd never get there so I began to direct.  The only problem was the directions told us to make a turn on to a street that did not intersect with the street we were on!  Traffic was horrendous and we were sent through a horrible construction area.  Finally, we pulled in to a fast food place that didn't seem busy and the clerk gave 65MD better directions.

We arrived at our lovely little bed & breakfast in the heart of the old town to find it completely empty.  65MD pulled out his cell phone to call and had no service.  I checked and I didn't have service either!  It was freezing cold.  We were tired and stressed from the last bit of the drive and now we were stranded.  We decided to drive around and see if we could get a signal so we could call.  We noticed a little business a couple of blocks away and pulled in.  The receptionist was most helpful.  She told us we were in the right place and was a little puzzled that no one was there.

We went back.  This time an older lady from a house across the way came out.  She explained that her daughter ran the B&B and was stuck in traffic.  She would let us in out of the cold and try to check us in.  She was also trying to watch her grandchildren - a little girl about 3 and a little boy about 12 months.  Let's just say it wasn't going well.  She couldn't figure out what to do on the computer while the little girl decided to demonstrate her running and jumping abilities for us, thus breaking lots of fragile items that were jarred by the movement!

Eventually, the son in law came in and got us checked in.  He explained in great detail how to get in the house and told us we would get vouchers for breakfast at a nearby diner.  He failed to give us a key to our room and we had to go ask for the vouchers the next morning.

Still, even with all the stress of getting there and getting checked in.  It was wonderful. It was totally fine that we didn't have a cell signal.  We weren't planning to call anyone or play games.  65MD had packed a few things that were special to us in our dating days.  It was so sweet for him to remember.  I won't go in to that since it won't make sense without a lot of explanation and the specifics really don't matter.  Leave it as, aside from the hiccups with the B&B we had the wonderful relaxing night away that we both wanted and needed.

We got home midday on Saturday.  I texted my mother to let her know we were home, never thinking that she'd been trying to get in touch with me.  She was concerned that she had a blood clot in her calf as it looked sunburned and felt hot.  I have a sister who is a nurse, but her cell phone wasn't working either, except she didn't know it!

We went to check on her and knew she needed medical attention.  We called her doctor who sent us to a nearby walk in clinic, thinking it was cellulitis. The clinic sent us to the ER saying it was a clot.  The ER wound up diagnosing cellulitis and sent her home with two prescriptions.  All of this took nearly 7 hours!!!!  Most of them at the ER with another comedy of errors.

During this time, I called my nephew to see if he knew what was going on with his mother.  I didn't  want to do that because he is very close to my mother and I knew this whole thing would upset him.  He was able to track down his mother and she learned that she'd missed a lot of messages.  She offered to come relieve us but it didn't make sense.  My mother lives a lot closer to us and by this time we were at the ER.

When we finally left the ER, it was late enough that my mother's usual pharmacy was closed.  In fact, most were.  We finally found an open one and got the medication only to encounter issues with her insurance!  I felt like I had spend the entire week waiting in one medical facility or another - just waiting!!

I kept reminding myself that I'd just come home from my mystery date with 65MD and it had been delightful.  And that my mother was fine, she has insurance and her condition was easily treatable.  Still, my anger threshold had been reached.  I'm sure my BP would have had me in the ER.  I have had one nosebleed after another since Sunday.  This morning both sides at once.  I honestly gave some consideration to calling for help it was so bad. I simply didn't want to get back on the medical merry-go-round.  I might have just bled to death from my nose!

I'm not dealing with the extremes very well.  I think  I generally cope well with the normal ebbs and flows of life.  But this seems over the top and over the top, and in a negative way.  I had that one bright spot with 65MD for less than 24 hours.  I am truly thankful for it.  I'd probably be in a psych ward if not for that.  How much garbage can one person take?  The thing that scares me most is, I know it can get worse.  I'm not equipped to deal with any more.  I am helpless to do anything about it!


  1. Well I'm just flabbergasted from reading it all! I'm glad the surprise turned out nicely, but I wish the rest of your days had been better!!!!

  2. I love that MD took all the things from your dating! How beautiful! Hugs for your Mum xoxo

  3. I'm sorry to hear all the issues going on. So hard when you feel out of control. In the end, we really only have control over how we deal with life's ups and downs, not much control over which ups and downs we get.

    I know you enjoyed the mystery date. How thoughtful of 65md! Very romantic too. Yay him!

    Sending hugs your way.

  4. Wow....what a weekend of highs and lows! I'm sorry that your delightful surprise was overshadowed with some negatives. Focus on the good though!

  5. Oh no! I'm glad you had a wonderful time. What a thoughtful trip. But I"m also sorry for all the pitfalls. :(