Total Weight Loss

Monday, February 25, 2013

The Weekend that Was

I'm here to confess, I had a wild and crazy weekend.  It isn't like it was out of the blue.  I knew there were going to be obstacles ahead and thought I'd planned for them.  Apparently, I need to plan a little better in the future.  Read on.

I knew Saturday was going to be a hard day for several reasons.  One, it was my second day off of hcg.  Two, 65MD was out of town for most of the day.  Three, I was baking cookies for game night at church where the cookies would be a part of a bake off.  Finally, my weight had popped up two pounds overnight.  I'll explain each one in turn.

After stopping the hcg, the eating plan is followed for two more days while the hcg exits the body.  As this happens, hunger returns.  I knew that as I got hungrier as the day wore on that I'd start telling myself that it would be OK to eat a little more protein because for three weeks the transition is low carb/high protein.  In order to combat that, I had my meals prepped and all I had to do was cook and eat.

As for 65MD being out of town for the day, somehow I cheat more when he's gone.  It makes no sense since he has never once monitored what I eat or questioned anything about my choices even when he knows I'm eating off plan.  Still, when he's gone, I feel like I can eat more and if he doesn't know it doesn't count.  To combat that, I'd planned quite a few things to keep myself busy.  If my mind and body were occupied the temptation would be lessened.

With regard to the cookies, it was almost without saying that I would enter the bake off as far as my church family knew.  I'd  always participated and usually placed if not won.  (BTW, I took first place this time!)  When I am fully in the groove with my plan, I can bake cookies or anything else and just not taste it.  It is a non issue.  I was concerned this time because I knew I'd be hungrier, alone and frustrated with the gain.  But I was just determined not to have any batter.

My determination and I went in to the kitchen mid morning to bake the award winning cookies and get it over with.  I was merrily putting dough on the cookie sheet when I realized that I'd popped some in my mouth.  I tried to stop, but still had a little taste here & there.  Try as I might, the determination ran away.  My only hope was to get salmonella from the raw eggs.  LOL!!

Finally, all of the dough was safely in the oven.  I ran water in the bowl so that I wouldn't go back and scrape more dough.    I tried to assess the damage and realized that although I'd eaten dough, it wasn't more than what would be about a cookie.  Even so, I'd have to detox.  I could do it. 

When I took the cookies out of the oven, oddly about 6 were burnt on the bottom.  It really was odd since there were 10 other cookies on the sheet that were not burnt.  I put the non burnt cookies on the rack to cool and put the burnt ones aside.  IDK why I didn't put them in the trash right then, but I didn't.  I finished baking the rest of the cookies without any incident.  But for the rest of the day, whenever I went through the kitchen I ate one of the burnt cookies.  Yes, all 6 of them. 

Again, I was on track in all other areas.  I had my meals as planned and no other extras.  65MD got back to town and we met my nephew, his wife and baby at the church building for game night.  I put my cookies in the designated area and walked away as quickly as possible.  But then, my nephew wanted to know which cookies were mine.  Instead of just pointing them out, I got up and went over there (gotta get those steps in!) to show him.  I wound up sampling some of the competition.  I managed to regain control after sampling three cookies, but not whole ones.  I was splitting them with my nephew's wife.  Still I was up to 8 1/2 cookies counting the dough and all!!!

It wasn't surprising to find another gain Sunday morning.  Even though I was back on track 100% yesterday, we ate out.  That always spells a gain for me, no matter how carefully I order.  This morning I am 5.4 pounds up in three days!

Today, I have been 100% on plan again, and really pushing the water.  I want to flush all that sugar out as quickly as possible.  I wish in three days I'd be back saying that the regain is gone, but it never seems to fall off as quickly as it piles up.

I'm not happy with myself that I allowed that to happen, but I'm not perfect.  Sometimes, I just succumb.  That's OK, not ideal but OK.  Somehow, I'm not that upset about it.  I think we'll all have times of indulgence and the vital thing is to learn how to deal with it.  That is what I am learning today.


  1. i understand darlin! and you KNOW the dangers and sometimes we succumb glad you're back on plan and congrats on the 1st place!

  2. I swear I think sometimes our brains WANT us to mentally allow ourselves room for a splurge or a binge.... Like sometimes I will commit to the Lord that I will NOT touch so and so, and I succeed. But other times, I will purposefully NOT make a promise to the Lord because I know I really want a bite and don't WANT to be held accountable. Not saying that is your case, but I still think our brains are tricky! So sorry about the gain. Blah.

  3. Will you discontinue cookie and sweet baking in order to prioritize your health and weight loss goals?

    I gave up all cookie = crack and sweet baking ( excuse for me to binge) for loss and maintence. I am giving away all my baking tools. The extra space on my kitchen supports my weight maintenance diet. Think cutting boards for veggies and containers for lunches.

    I highly recommend halting all cookie baking and eating. It feels good to set boundaries that way. The emotional stress ends.

    Onward and here's to future plans and decisions and your health.