I Need Help

This moderation thing isn't working.  Maybe a more accurate statement is I'm not working the moderation.  Deep inside of me I know that this is the right way to go.  I know that it is not healthy to eat no carbs for long periods of time. Eating meal replacements is not a sustainable life style for me.  

I eat clean.  I eat vegetables from my little backyard garden.  I supplement that with purchases from farmers market.  I eat very little produce that is from an unknown source.  

The beef I eat is local, grass-fed organic beef.  I haven't found a good source for chicken yet, so maybe that is my problem.  We also have some fish and pork.  I've never worried so much about the protein since in most eating plans it is allowed.  I don't fry anything.  We grill, roast and broil almost exclusively, and mostly grill.

Bread, anything sweet, and white potatoes are rare indulgences.  We eat out once a week or less.

I drink enough water to drown a fish.

I admit to a few more indulgences while my family was in town.  They're gone now, so it is time to get focused again.   While they were here, my weight yo-yoed with the treats.  That seemed reasonable.   Have a treat one day and see a small uptick.  No treats the next and the scales would go back down.

As of Monday afternoon, life was back to 65MD and me.  We agreed that the indulgences were over and we were back with the moderation plan.  For us that means low carb, with the carbs coming from fresh fruit.  I fully expected to see the scales begin to tick down again.  I thought it would take a while to get back to the pre-visit weight, but I thought I'd see progress.  The last thing I expected to see was a gain.  I'm not talking about a little uptick either.  I'm talking 3 pounds.  It isn't right.

Something is wrong.  People don't eat the way I believe I do and gain weight.  Some where some how, I am lying to myself.  I have a big blind spot some place where I am messing up.  As much as I hate to start counting and measuring again, I am going to have to keep a food journal.

I am going to keep a little notebook with me at all times.  I am going to write down every bit of food I put in my mouth  until I figure out what the problem is.  This is not giving myself free reign to eat whatever I want whenever I want.  This is a tool to open my eyes to a problem, a big problem.  Once I have an idea of the problem, I'll fix it.  

I can't live like this anymore.  This is harder than any program I've ever done.  I hate this limbo.  I hate thinking I am doing the right thing only to get slapped down.  It isn't just the scales being wonky.  My clothes aren't fitting well.  I don't feel spunky.  I need help!