What I'm Doing Now

I started journaling as I said I would in my last post.  I decided to eat as I typically would and not censor myself since I was writing it down.  Otherwise, it would be useless to use the time and energy.  Of course, in typical fashion, I decided not to only record what I ate, but also the time and how I was feeling - hungry, anxious, angry, etc.  That would be a useful tool.  But since I am rebelling against weighing and measuring my food, it wouldn't be as useful as it could be.  I also jotted down what I was doing when I decided to eat.

I created a monster that I could not sustain.  Not even for the weekend.  The fact that it was so cumbersome would have kept me from doing it long term, but I think I would have continued more than a few days if my weight had not shot up like a rocket to Mars!  Something had to change and something had to change fast.  

Yesterday, I started a meal replacement plan.  Yes, one that I said was not sustainable.  I still contend that it is not.  It is not something I can do for the rest of my life.  It is, however,something I can do now.  

A friend gave me this protein powder to mix with water some time ago.  I put it away and forgot about it.  I ran across it over the weekend and thought I'd toss it.  Then I saw that the container was almost full and it seemed too wasteful.  

65MD and I talked about it.  We agreed that I will do the protein drinks until I run out.  I think it will be at least three weeks, maybe a month.  He is back in school now and generally the only meal we share together is the evening meal, so this won't interfere with his lifestyle as much as other 'programs' have.

I'm hoping by the time I've finished what I have on hand, I'll have a clearer idea of how to proceed.  It could be that I get more protein powder and continue this plan.  I'm keeping all of my options open at this time.  The scales finally registered a loss this morning, so I'm content for now.