The Blahs

I've got them.  I don't like it.  I think part of it is the time of year it is cold and dreary out.  This is my least favorite time of year.  I count the days until  the clocks change and spring is in the air.  Until then, blah.

A much bigger part is the abysmal failure I've been at the family weight loss competition.  As much as I've struggled and stayed on plan, it appears that I am going to register a gain this week.  I am incredibly discouraged.  My sweet niece that is winning thanked me today for starting this.  She is so happy because the competition has kept her on track and she's nearly 10 pounds lighter.  

I am happy for her.  I truly am.  I am glad that this is what it took for her to get in her sweet spot.  She'll get to her goal weight without a problem, I'm sure.  Now, her goal is not to fall out of first place in the competition.  Even though she knows that one will be harder.

Everyone but me has lost nicely.  So much so, that another niece has joined the group.  I'm glad.  I enjoy the camaraderie we've developed through this.  That will last beyond the weight loss phase.  I don't have to win every week.  I don't have to win ANY week.  I just want the scales to move.

I'm discouraged, disappointed, and frankly bewildered.  I really don't know what else to do.  I refuse to waste any more money on another plan/pill/miracle cure because they don't work.  I made a list this morning of all of the weight loss aids I have in my house right now.  It was a little embarrassing.  One of them or a combination of them should work.  So far, none are.

I also know that going off plan is the worst thing I can do.  I can't give a lot of well thought out reasons why, but I'm going back to low carb on Monday.  The shakes clearly aren't working.  Maybe I can use them in a maintenance phase.  IDK.  I might get some joy out of tossing them one day.  For now, I'll try to remain rational and not fling them in the toilet.

Sunday, we are having a family meal and the menu is already planned.  It is a nice healthy soup & salad meal that works with every one's plan, except for low carb.  There are a lot of beans in the soup.  That is why I'm delaying the start until Monday.  

I may fast tomorrow to keep myself from cheating thinking that I'll start fresh on Monday.  There isn't a lot of cheat food in my house and I'm sure not getting out in this weather to get cheat foods, so I  haven't fully decided on that.  The only thing I know for sure is I can't keep on like this.  I hate feeling this way.  

Just For Fun

Temps here are still well below normal and are being called the coldest in a generation.  I know each winter we get a few cold days here and there.  But, I can't recall the cold staying around for so long and being so recurrent.  As I type this, the "feels like" temp is -2.  The air temperature is warmer in Boston (where my nephew lives) and has been during most of these most bitter days.

Since I posted what I was wearing the other day when I was admitting to not getting enough water, and several of my readers got a chuckle from my ensemble, I decided to post my garments once again.  

*undershirt

*long sleeved T-shirt

*sweatshirt

*leggings

*spandex workout pants

*nylon workout pants that are lined and generally quite cozy alone

*hunting socks

*regular socks

*fur lined booties

I have a fleece jacket handy should I feel a chill.  LOL!!

All of these clothes weigh 5 pounds!  I think in a few weeks when I can go back to wearing a normal amount of clothes, I'll feel svelte no matter what the scales say.

So far today, I've had about 16 ounces of water.  I'll get it down.

BTW, I drink a lot of hot tea but I'm still trying to get in 64 ounces of good old water too.

Keep warm, my friends.

Taking My Own Advice

I had another unexpected bounce up the scale.  Now, I'm up a pound from my start weight for my family competiton.  It is frustrating to say the least.  I start thinking about where I need to tweak.  What I can cut out or add back, or change.  Honestly, I had a good week.  I exercised 4 days and ate on plan all week.  

I was within 0.2 pounds of getting below my most recent lowest weight when this happened.  This has become a pattern for me.  My body seems to rebel just when I'm about to break through a barrier.  It is just plain hard to work so diligently to do what is right and not get the reward expected. Even though I make all of the right tick marks in all the right places on all of my spreadsheets, my body doesn't care.

 I don't know how many times I have told my blog friends to hang in there, don't give up, keep doing the right thing, etc. because the scales will eventually follow.  Even as I type those comments hoping to encourage my friends, I know how hard it is.  I know the anger and frustration that they are experiencing.  I always hope that they really do just hold on a little bit longer.  I am confident in them that the scales will eventually get with the program too.

So now it is time for me to, hang on and keep doing what I know to be right.  It is time to dig deep and find the reserve I didn't know I had to push through the hard part.  There is nothing that needs to change with what or how much I eat.  I am happy with my workout plan and I'm even getting in water on these cold days.  I am trying hard to look at those successes and not let those blasted scales ruin what I know to be right.

Just to confirm, I am once again dead last in the family competition.  Sigh. 

Baby, It's Cold Outside

It is dangerously cold here in the sunny south!  Single digit temps and below zero wind chills are here.  The forecast is for a brief reprieve over the weekend and then back down to frigid cold.  That isn't news and it is the same most places.  We don't have snow, which for me is disappointing.  I like one good one each winter.  I may get it yet.

What does this have to do with weight loss?  For me, it is hard for me to drink water when I am cold.  Even though I'm inside and the thermostat is set to a balmy 60 something.  I'm cold.  As I type this, I am wearing a t-shirt, turtle neck, sweater and jacket along with two pairs of pants and socks and fur lined boots.  I may complete my ensemble with a hat.  Pouring cold water in to an already cold body is not what I want to do.

I've struggled all week to get 64 ounces, when most of the time that is only about half of what I drink.  The good news is, that I'm still getting in my workout and eating on plan.  It is just this pesky water thing.  As a result, I haven't quite lost my over-the-weekend regain.  I still have 0.2 to go.

Sunday is weigh in and I'll have a loss.  But, I doubt I'll be contending for first place like I thought I was last week.  As long as the scale keeps creeping down, no matter how slowly, I'll be glad.  I've got to stop these little bounces up here & there. That is what is killing progress for me.

Week Two Results

I lost 2.4 pounds.  I didn't go from worst to first because my niece dropped 4.2 pounds!!  I'm in second place.  I'm fine with that.  I'm just glad for a loss finally.  My total loss for the competition is 0.4 so I'm still in last place there.  That's OK.  I'm doing better.

The best thing about this family competition is that I am truly happy for the person that 'wins' the week.  We are all keeping each other encouraged and motivated.  That is what matters most.  We will all get to our goals.

For the sake of keeping it real though,  I must confess that I regained over the long weekend.  Yesterday was a rare spring like day with sunshine and temps in the 60's.  65MD and I took advantage of the weather and his day off to go out and enjoy life.  I ate rather than having the shakes and I didn't get enough water on Sunday or Monday.  

Today, I'm back 100% on plan.   I've drunk a lot of water and been to the bathroom a lot too! I'll probably drop all of the regain today and be back in the hunt tomorrow. 

FYI, in my area, the temps are plummeting and snow is predicted.  I doubt we'll get the snow but we will get the cold! 

Inspired!

Yesterday I spent some time with a friend that has lost a significant amount of weight.  I was so glad to see her.  She looks wonderful.  Of course, she is one of those women that looked wonderful heavier so seeing her look so good lighter was no big surprise.

After we talked about weight loss plans, exercise plans and all the surface stuff.  We got down in to the nitty-gritty of weight loss.  The stuff beyond he battle of do I eat that cookie or take a walk.  Those unanticipated issues, like clothes for the way down, frustrations of the plateaus, the fear that this won't last.  We've all been there.  We all know these things happen.  They are hard to articulate and impossible for someone not on this journey to understand.

It was uplifting to me to talk with her about those things.  We shared ideas for overcoming the issues, but mostly we nodded our heads in complete understanding as the other shared a struggle.  I know it seems counter-intuitive.  We shed tears, but in the midst of the tears, I felt triumph.  I knew she had the right stuff to get to her goal and so do I.

I left with a renewed determination to battle through whatever is ahead and get to my goal weight.  I know it won't be easy.  If it were, no one would have weight issues.  I'd prefer sunshine and flowers but I know that the rain and cold come.  I feel empowered now to keep pushing through the dark places.  They don't last forever.  I will.

Restaurant Results

I know all of my readers are anxiously awaiting the results from last night's restaurant meal. I did great!  I knew what I was going to get when I walked in.  I ordered first so that I would not be swayed by the others.  I ate only what I ordered.

I had thought when 65MD ordered fries, that I'd pilfer one so I wouldn't feel deprived, even though he hates that.  He does not like anyone taking any food off of his plate, or just a bite of something he has.  He allows me to from time to time but that is it.  When I saw the fries, I was OK without one.  I could save my bargaining chip with 65MD for another time!  LOL!

This morning, I was prepared for an uptick.  I would have been happy with staying the same.  Instead, I lost!  It was only 0.2 but it is a lost!  That brings me down to my starting weight of the family fun competition.  Now, I'm hoping to lose a little more before Sunday so that I can actually register a loss with the family.

I'm thrilled.  It is like my body has finally remembered how to lose weight.  The biggest thing I have changed is having nut milk in my meal replacement shakes.  I think it is giving me more protein than water not to mention calories.  Maybe my body was in starvation mode. I'm going to ride this train for as long as I can.

Of course, I understand that losing two pounds that were just gained is not an Olympic feat.  And that the hard part is still ahead: losing weight that has been around a while.  Still, I feel different in my head and in my body. This could be what I've been searching for.  Time will tell.  Thanks for joining me and supporting me through all my trial & error.

Hello

I've been so lax in blogging lately, that I feel compelled to write something although I have nothing meaningful to say.  I have no funny anecdotes either.

However, I am doing quite well since getting whipped by my family on Sunday.  Two good days - YAHOO!!  It is amazing what a little focus will do.  I've dropped 1.8 of the 2 pounds I gained last week.  I'm now hoping to go from worst to first in my little family competition.

I have to eat out tonight for a birthday obligation.  Even when I order the best of what is offered, I seem to register a gain the next day.  I already know what I am going to order and I have some new workout activities to add to the day.  Plus I am chugging water like mad.

If the scales are up in the morning, it will only irritate me, not derail me.  I'll stay right on track and register a loss on Sunday.  Wait and see!  Life is good.

On Getting My Hiney Kicked

As I mentioned before, my family is competing in our own weight loss efforts.  We each picked our plan and goals and were off and running.  Sunday was our first weigh in/accountability day.  I got my backside handed to me in a major way by my family!  Everyone lost weight but me.  I gained.  That is all it takes to light a fire under my all too ample self and get to it.

I knew that I hadn't given it my all last week.  I had a lot going on with my business which is wonderful, but I shouldn't have let it distract me from healthy habits.  Not to mention the bitter cold kept me inside.  That shouldn't matter either with all of the workout DVDs I have.

I am now focused much more intently on what I need to do.  My walking buddy has challenged me as well and I have accepted.  I put a new ticker at the top of the blog with my "Family Challenge Goal."  I am ready to do it.

Next week, I will not be dead last again.

Current Plan of Attack

I am mostly back from another absolutely wonderful Christmas season with my family.  I say 'mostly' because my nephew and his bride-to-be are here through the weekend.  When he says "Jump!" I say "How high?"  I love my family.  The older I get the more I realize what a precious gift I have in a family that loves each other and enjoys each other.  

My gushing about my family will likely be kicked up a notch this year.  We have a wedding at the end of July and all of us want to be fit & fabulous for the festivities.  In our typical fashion, we are banding together to encourage each other to keep our goals.

Each of us are setting our own personal goals with regard to weight loss/exercise/general fitness.  We will report to each other at least once a week.  We will encourage each other to stay strong when the going gets tough and to keep our focus on the end goal.  We are doing this privately, but I'll share my goals here.

I want to lose 25 pounds before the wedding.  That is almost a pound per week.  One pound per week, is what the medical profession is touting as the appropriate level for sustained success.  I rounded down, which is unlike me.  I'm trying to make my goal realistic and attainable.  If I manage to lose 25 pounds before the wedding, I will make it my goal to continue to lose 1 pound per week.

As for the method, I am leaning heavily towards a low carb approach. Not, an Atkins zero carb type thing, although I will confess, I like the appeal of eating all of the meat I want.  I'll eliminate the typical carbs like sugar & white flour as much as possible.  At the same time, I working on my mental approach too.  I don't want to vilify sugar to the point that if I succumb and eat some, I won't feel like a failure and be tempted to totally blow it.  I am also trying to keep an open mind as to the best eating plan.  If I see that this isn't working, I'll evaluate it and tweak as need be.

With regard to exercise, one of my former co-workers and I have agreed to try the 1000 mile challenge again.  We will walk or run 1000 miles during 2014.  I will be using my walk away the pounds DVD while the weather is cold and damp.  I'll walk outside more and more as I can.  

I also have the free fitbit app on my iTouch I can use to track calories in & out. In all honesty, I'm not sure if I'll stick with that since I know how I get about counting every little morsel of food and every last movement.  (How many calories does blogging burn?)  If I can manage to change my mindset to the point that I can track my eating & exercise without turning in to some sort of freak, I'll do it.

I'm chugging the water today.  I realized at some point through the holidays that I was opting for water over other beverage choices.  It was what I wanted.  Go me! 

I'm looking forward to discovering more surprise improvements through the year as my weight slowly declines.  I am ready for some slow & steady weight loss.