Sweet Wedding

We had a precious wedding on Saturday evening.  It was everything the bride and groom wanted it to be.  The bride's father called it magical and I agree.  The bride said she looked up during the reception and saw all of our handiwork throughout the summer and felt surrounded by love.  I did too.  It was a delightful evening.  

It was very hot, which is to be expected in July, even though we had moderate days before and since.  Oh well.  The heat made the carrot cake sort of melt.  I felt like I was serving it by the spoonful rather than slice. I took a couple of bites of it because I was just a little concerned that it might not taste so good.  I need not have worried, it was scrumptous even if I do say so myself.  It was devoured as was the tree stump cake. (i haven't got a picture of the cakes yet, but if I do I'll post it.) Apparently, the bride's family doesn't often get scratch made cakes and loved it.

Those few bites of cake was all the food I had at the reception.  I was too busy enjoying myself and never even thought about eating.  That coupled with the extreme heat, allowed me to lose 0.2 lbs over night!!  

I started back on the hcg injections.  I didn't want to put that off at all even with family still in town.  The last of the family will leave over the weekend.  I expect to be back to my more regular blogging & commenting then.  I'll also share the July stats.

Have a great weekend.  Be back Monday - maybe!

It Is Wedding Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am giddy with excitement and stifled by the amount of stuff I agreed to do between now and Saturday.  Family has started arriving and I am all about that.  I love it when everyone is in town.  We always have a blast and I know this weekend will be no exception.  I have two cakes to bake & decorate plus various errands to run on behalf of the bride & groom.   Although, I am overwhelmed with the 'stuff' I would not have it any other way.  I am absolutely thrilled that I am in a position to help.

As far as eating goes, I have given myself permission to go with the flow this weekend.  This is not permission to eat anything and everything all willy-nilly.  This is more of a mind game, in which I allow myself to eat whatever is served if I don't have a choice.  That way, I don't feel like I blew it and eat out of remorse or guilt.  

I start back on the hcg injections next week.  That should get the ball rolling back in the right direction.  I have not lost the stress weight I gained after getting the bad news.  I've gone up and down but not below that lowest point.  I know once I am able to focus again, that will drop right back off along with 20 or so of their friends!

Life is good now and I plan to relish every last second of it.

I Ate Corn

I ate corn and gained two pounds.  It was corn!  Fresh corn, straight from the garden.  I cut if off the cob and cooked it myself.  Why, oh why does my body have to overreact so violently to carbs!

Thank YOU!

This morning I woke in despair over 'the situation.'  I sobbed and sobbed.  I'd get control of my emotions, but the sadness and frustration would wash over me like a wave and the tears would begin again.  Deep inside, I knew things would work out, but I couldn't imagine how or when.

I sucked it up and got about my day as planned.  I still felt like a cloud was hanging over my head.  I decided I had to learn to live with it.  This would be my 'new normal'  (I hate that phrase!) and I would just have to concentrate on what was right in my life and put aside this part over which I had no control.

Very soon after having those thoughts things took an unexpected but very welcome turn.  This thing that had consumed just about every waking moment since Saturday practically vanished.  I cannot explain how it happened since I'm still not at liberty to discuss the details, but the problem is no longer present.

I know that a lot of my readers stood with me in prayer over this even though the specifics were not known to them.  I believe those prayers were heard and answered.  All I can do is say "Thank you!"  Maybe there will come a time when I can share exactly what happened so everyone can know and marvel as I do now.  

This morning I was a mess.  This afternoon, I am giddy with joy.  Thank you!

My Amazing Family

I am so very blessed to have a family that gets along.  We don't always agree but we respect each other and the different opinions that happen in any group.  We genuinely enjoy the company of each other.  Once again, we have pulled together during a difficult time to work through the hard spots together.  We have a rough road ahead.  There is a dark cloud over us that is making it hard to see the good part.  We are sure that everything will work out as it should but it will be hard to live through it.  So for now, I am concentrating on the one good thing I know for sure - my family is amazing.  We will get through this.

As hard as I tried yesterday to get back in full swing of my eating plan, it didn't quite happen.  There was no binge or major pig fest, but I ate a couple of slices of banana blueberry bread that I had made for Sunday.  Food still has little appeal.  The bread was readily available.  I have put it out of sight and that should take care of it.  In spite of that indiscretion, I did well with my eating and lost 0.8 of the regain.  That leaves 2.4 lbs to go to get back to where I was before this began.

Saturday

When I went to bed Friday night, I knew that Saturday was going to be a busy day.  It would be one of those days where I had to stay on task all day to accomplish everything that I had planned.  I had no idea just how the day would turn.

My plans were to clean house thoroughly and prep a meal for Sunday. Sunday was the day my family had selected for our monthly meal together. Coupled with that, 65MD's daughter was coming through town and needed a place to stay Saturday night.  Since our day was already quite full we agreed to take her to dinner that night rather than try and prepare another meal, not to mention the extra cleaning.  We selected a place we knew would be good for our eating plans, no issues there.

I began checking items off my list as planned, when I got some news I did not want to hear.  (I am sorry to do this, but I can't share the news.  I've been asked not to, but no one is dead or near death.)  I had been praying against this very issue for so long, I was stunned when I got the word.  I really felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach.  Suddenly, nothing really mattered about the meal prep or the house cleaning.

I told myself over and over that this all would work out for the best and I didn't know the end of the story yet and all of those platitudes that are supposed to help.  That are supposed to make folks feel better, but it didn't help.

65MD's daughter had the unfortunate timing to show up just as I'd gotten the news.  I was too overcome to do anything more that sit like a statue while she prattled on about her trip and the various other 'goings on' in her life.  I hadn't even told 65MD yet.  When she went outside to get her bags in for the night, I broke down sobbing and told 65MD.  Of course, there was nothing to be done at the time so we went out to eat as planned.  I didn't even look at the menu.  I knew what I wanted and ordered it.  I could hardly eat though.  I ate what I could and brought the rest home. (It is still in the refrigerator.)

My family came over yesterday as planned.  They had all gotten the same news.  It was good for us to be together and sort things out a bit. Again, I couldn't eat.  The food had no appeal and little taste.  In an effort to find something tasty, I allowed myself some carbs that ordinarily I would not have. They weren't good either.

While, I did not keep a food log, my perception is that I have eaten very little since midday on Saturday, but my weight is up over 3 pounds!!!  I know the carbs have caused me to hold water, and I'm wondering if there is some sort of stress reaction going on too.  Our bodies are more delicate than we realize and react in strange ways.  

I'm doing my best to tow the line today about my eating.   Even though my heart isn't in it right now, I know for sure that if I allow myself to regain any more weight it will only frustrate me further and I have all I can deal with now from the other situation.

I am sorry this is so cryptic.  I know the situation will be resolved when the time is right and all will be well.  It is just hard to live through.  Thanks in advance for supporting me through this.

An Insight from a Quick Trip

65MD and I went to see some of his peeps out of state over the holiday weekend.  It was a quick trip.  We both wished it could have been longer, but a short trip was better than no trip.  We spent only one night away from home, at his sister's house.

SIL, as long as I've known her, has never had a weight problem.  Her weight, in the 15+ years I've known her, has seemed quite stable.  Her weight appeared to be just where it needed to be not too heavy or too thin.  And didn't seem to change from one time seeing her to the next.  

Whenever we have been together she seemed to have eaten whatever she wanted.  Things like potato chips, cookies, sweet beverages.  All those things that I avoid, she ate.  She is a slow eater and has no issues leaving food on her plate once she's had her fill.  At the same time, I've been in situations where she has eaten beyond full if her comments later were to be believed.  Still her weight seemed to remain constant.

This time when I saw her she looked a bit heavy.  I dismissed it immediately, thinking it had to be the cut of her clothes or a trick of the light, something.  After all, her weight never seemed to change, ever.

During the visit, though, she confessed to me that she'd gained 8 pounds over the winter.  She retired at the end of last year.  She took early retirement because her husband was quite ill and she wanted to be more available to him.  They had a hard winter with surgeries, rehab, and all sorts of doctor visits.  That, added with the bitterly cold weather, kept them inside most of the time.  She said that the only thing they had to do was eat.

I should add at this point that SIL does not cook.  Her husband always did, but wasn't able to during the winter months.  They relied heavily on take out, friends, and various other quick, easy to prepare (heat & eat) or snack type foods.

She was distressed that the pounds had crept on and her clothes were no longer comfortable.  She sought advise from me as to how to get the weight off this summer.  I must admit that initially, anger flared inside me. I thought she should just get over those 8 little pounds and come talk to me when she had 80 pounds to lose.  Almost immediately, I realized the fallacy of that thinking.

That thinking is why I got in the shape I am now.  If I had dealt with 8 pounds when they crept up, I wouldn't be on this journey now.  So, I commended her on being concerned.  Shared some of the things that had worked for me, like keeping those simple carbs low and we had a nice chat about the issues surrounding the gain and better strategies for both of us to keep our weight in check.  It was a good thing.

 I think, she helped me far more than I helped her!

June Stats & Yesterday

For the month of June I lost a whopping 16.2 lbs, and 16.5 inches.   I love the kick-start hcg gives me.  I'm prepared to keep the momentum going in July while I am off the injections.

I had a very good day yesterday.  I ate breakfast a little late.  I got some unexpected news early in the day which kept me off kilter all day.  It wasn't bad news - everything is fine. I am just a planner and so yesterday I rolled with the punches rather than my plan.

For breakfast, I ate some leftover beef tips on a low carb tortilla spread with laughing cow cheese.  It was quite yummy and kept me full well in to the afternoon.  I was quite busy most of the day and when I realized mid afternoon that I had not eaten since late morning, I was a little shocked.  

I went in to the kitchen to see what I could find for a small lunch.  I got a very small handful of cashews as I looked.  I realized that I really was not hungry and should not force myself to eat.  65MD gets home a little earlier in the summer and I thought we'd have an early supper if I got hungry. So lunch was maybe a tablespoon of cashews.

65MD got home and I mentioned grilling steaks for supper and he was quite amenable to that idea!!  The area where we grill gets the full bore of the afternoon sun.  It was quite hot and since neither one of us were hungry we decided to let the sun's rays ease a little bit before making a fire and adding to the heat!!!

At 7:00 pm I decided that we needed to cook regardless of hunger.  There was a show coming on at 8:00 that I didn't want to miss.  In addition to the grilled steaks, I steamed some broccoli and made some cheese sauce.  It was a very tasty meal for virtually zero carbs.  65MD enjoyed it so much he's already requested the meal again.  He is a low carb convert!

If my start to this phase of the plan is any indication, I'll have more good news to share on August 1.