I got my ticker updated this morning, but had a family party today so I'm just now back to writing.
I am tearing up the mileage. I'm quite pleased with my progress on that front. Every day while I was gone except for one I got over 10,000 steps and most days it was more like 12,000 steps. The one day I dipped below was the at sea day when it rained. It is hard to get in many steps aboard a ship in the pouring rain. I didn't let that defeat me though. I just did the best I could and felt good about it.
On the other hand, since I've been back, I have not been able to focus on a healthy eating plan at all! I really don't understand what is happening in my head. Maybe if I just keep typing it will become apparent. Read on or not. This part is for me, and may not make sense to anyone else, or even me.
I'm not having epic battles about should I or shouldn't I eat this or that. I just do. I went to the store Saturday and got lots of good fresh produce. I even got a watermelon at the farmers' market. This is the best time of year for delicious, fresh produce. So far, I've eaten a banana and the watermelon is uncut in the refrigerator along with the lettuce and asparagus cut fresh from my back yard. Why? Not to mention the homemade yogurt which I love and the chicken breast marinating since Saturday. (It may not be palatable anymore!)
I've got to figure out what to do to move ahead. It is like my brain has just stalled. I don't want to put myself back in that strict box that hcg requires. I want to be able to enjoy the bounty of the summer produce. I've strongly considered Weight Watchers. 65MD has even said he'll do it with me. (I have another blog post about him being called fat on our trip. I'll share that later this week.) I just can't seem to get motivated to even go over to the WW website and check it out.
I know the formula for weight loss. I don't know if I really need the structure of a plan or not. I just know I need a swift kick in the pants to get going again. I can't continue to gain a little here and a little there. That makes a lot.
What to do? What to do? How is it I can burn up the mileage and be so motivated in that area and so blah in the food area? Why can't I get it together? I don't know. I never have thought I was an individual to self sabotage, but maybe I am. Maybe I'm just in some sort of denial. Maybe on some level I don't want to get to my goal. I really don't think so. Blah!! I just don't know!!!
I Need To
2 weeks ago