When I first started this weigh loss journey, I had a hard time being around people when they were eating food I'd chosen not to. It was worse, when I really wanted the food and they offered. It was a struggle sometimes to smile and say "No, thank you" when all I really wanted to do was jerk the food out of their hands and cram it in. But I survived.
Now, I don't think much of it. Sure, I want to eat cake when my friends are having some. Some times I do. Most of the time I don't. Most of the time, I'm not even offered the taboo food. I'm not sure when this happened exactly, but I noticed it today.
Today was our monthly birthday cake day. The cake was in the kitchen at lunch today. As each person finished their meal they would get a slice of cake. No one took much notice of it, other than to comment on how good the cake was or something along those lines. That is, until the cake got pushed in front of me.
We were making room for another person to join us at the table. I'd finished my meal, but was enjoying the company for a few more minutes before returning to work. Since the area in front of me was largely empty the cake got pushed in my direction. Honestly, I thought nothing of it other than making room for this co-worker. Thoughts about how good it smelled or how much I wanted a piece never entered my mind. I'd had my meal and the cake was not a part of it. Somehow in my brain at that time, the cake could have been anything, napkins, a dirty bowl, or a glass of tea, but it wasn't mine, so it didn't matter. I wasn't going to eat anyone else's food. I had mine.
Then someone exclaimed that the cake should not be in front of me. She thought it was cruel to put the cake in front of me when I could not have any. I insisted that it didn't matter, but someone 'rescued' me from the cake by moving it away. It still didn't matter.
I began to think about how at the start of this, I felt pressure to eat and be like everyone else. I felt as though I stood out because I was behaving in a different way from everyone else. That added to the desire to eat and appear normal. Now, I'm on the opposite end of that spectrum. I have created a new expectation among my peers. They know I don't usually eat cake and want to help me. They want to make sure temptation stays as far away as possible. I really, really appreciate that.
It makes me wonder though. what if I'd wanted a piece of cake today?
Lessons Learned
4 years ago
Haha. No cake for you! If you all do that each month, too, it's something you're probably used to, so the temptation is not as bad. I think it's great that you weren't tempted. I have issues with consistency. I can honestly say sometimes I can ignore cake (like at a bday party a few months back) and it doesn't even bother me. Other time, however, like at my son's bday party in April, the cake is too much of a temptation. I don't care that I have some... it's when I have more than I intended that I get upset. Anyway, good for you that you have set forth a consistent example in front of your coworkers!!!
ReplyDeleteLoved your question at the end! LOL! I get this from Mr. B now who gives me the "look" when I eat something he has decided I shouldn't. But I hear exactly what you're saying about the cake being a non-entity. That's a terrific sign of progress. Of change - the kind that lasts!
ReplyDeleteYes that was nice of her. I haven't been so good lately and had LOTS of sweets over the weekend. Then Aunt Flo arrived. :)
ReplyDeletelolol they'd been surprised, but what a lovely thing that they respect you enough to NOT want to temp you!
ReplyDeleteThat is really awesome!! Having that kind of support helps me. Keep up the great work!!
ReplyDeleteStay focused!