The Last Days

65MD and I are in the final week of our grocery store fast.  We are going to make it with no problem.  This whole experiment has turned out differently than I thought it would.  I thought we'd run out of more food, and I thought we'd be making substitutions and laughing about strange meal combinations.  I thought at this point, I'd be counting the days, hours and maybe even minutes until I could get to the store.

Hardly any of that has happened.  We have run out of a few things.  I've mentioned each of them as it has happened.  We haven't eaten strange combinations of food.  And I'm not chomping at the bit to go to the store.  Quite the opposite.

I've enjoyed the freedom to NOT scour the newspaper for sales and coupons.  I've enjoyed a little extra time during the week,when I'd otherwise be in the store.  I really doubt that I'll be at the store when the doors open on July 1.  In fact, the earliest I'll probably go is Thursday since I'll have the baby earlier in the week.  That is fine.  If I don't go until the week after, that is fine too!

The coolest thing that has happened this month is that 65MD has lost weight.  Of course, he drops pounds easily, but it is still a happy occurrence.  I expect to end the month with a loss too.  I'll report all of that on July 1, when I report my monthly stats.

I have a list what we want from the store next week.  Honestly, I can't think of anything we need from the store next week.  This has been a good experiment for us.  Especially since it turned out in such a different way than expected.

A Couple of Hard Ones

Agave Nectar & A Coupon

I am drinking my last pitcher of tea sweetened with agave nectar.  I love me some 'sweet tea' especially in the summer time.  I discovered agave nectar some time ago and actually prefer it to any other sweetener including sugar.  This pitcher is not going to last until June 30, and I am trying to make this in to a positive thing.  

I have got a few types of sweetener in the cabinet that I bought for one reason or another, most likely it was the healthy choice of the moment.  I have quite a bit of stevia based sweetener that I'll use next.  It is OK, but has a bit of an under-taste to me.  Since the whole purpose of this exercise is to clean out and pare down, I am calling this a victory.

This morning as I was scanning through the newspaper, I saw a $5 off coupon that I so could use!  It is only valid for 7 days, which means I have to let it go.  That one is harder for me.  It seems wasteful in a way.  At the same time having a pantry with more than one type of sweetener just sitting there is more wasteful.  I am telling myself that I am saving more than $5 by not going to the store at all, and using my back log of stuff.

So far, we're still eating quite well, and I'm really liking the less cluttered look in my cabinets!  I am really glad that finally, I'm feeling a little pinched.

Sour Cream

We don't have any sour cream.  We are living just fine without it.  Saturday night was our first meal when we actually had to do without something for a meal.  It is about time!

I put a sirloin steak in the slow cooker with some Mexican seasonings,  and jalapenos from last  year's garden.  I cut some lettuce from this year's garden and served the meat over that with a sprinkle of cheese.  My intention was then to add a dollop of sour cream.  It would have been a nice low carb meal.  Only we didn't have sour cream. 

It was still a nice low carb meal, but it was even better without the sour cream.  The jalapenos were HOT.  The sour cream would have blunted the heat.  Instead we got the full force of it, and it was good.  There was some meat left over and I will likely have it for a meal today, sans sour cream.  I may skip the sour cream completely going forward.  Who knows?  Of course it with a couple of days age on it, it could really be hot. Then I might change my mind about not having sour cream!!!

I really am glad that something finally came up that we had to do without.  That is the whole object of this little exercise.  I am a little embarrassed that we are half way through the month and so far we only have lemons and sour cream MIA.  

My mother and I are going out of town for a long weekend this weekend.  That will leave 65MD on his own.  He won't do much cooking for just himself.  He'll eat at school or get something to bring home.  So, I'm still thinking we'll skate through this month without any real issues.

Finally!!

I finally broke through the pre-wedding weight this morning.  Yippee, yahoo and hallelujah!!

I'm on my way out to a full day of meetings.  Yes,I know it is Saturday.  I'll was eloquent about my break through another time.

Have a happy day.

Fear, Feelings & Fasting

I am feeling smaller these days.  I feel like my clothes are fitting better.  I feel healthy, with not so many aches & pains.  Those are all just feelings and are not confirmed by the scales.  In fact, the scales are up slightly.  Darn it all, I'm still not back to the pre-wedding weight!!!

BUT, while feelings are just that and cannot be confirmed, I'm going with them.  I like feeling good.  I don't think I'm in denial about any food issues.  I feel like I have been 100% on plan.  I feel like the slight up tick is probably due to the weight bearing exercise I've been doing lately called carrying a baby.  I feel like if I stay the course and continue to eat well and carry that child, the scales will catch up to me.  I might even have a sudden drop.  It has happened before.  

 It is hard for me though.  I am a results oriented person.  I like tangible evidence.  If I'm not getting the results I want then I want to fix things.  I want to change what needs to be changed in order to see the results I want.  I fear my feelings because I can't measure them.  They are fickle.  They don't always reflect reality.  I don't want to rock along feeling that everything is OK and then suddenly realize I've missed something and wasted a bunch of time.

Now, is the time to trust myself.  Now, is the time to do what I know to be right and know that my feelings are accurate.  Now is the time to just hold on.  Now is a time of faith for me.  Waiting and trusting myself are two of the hardest things for me to do.  I can do hard things.  I will do hard things.

******

And, about the grocery fast - Other than the fresh lemons, we haven't noticed any real difference in our eating habits.  We have agreed that the fast will continue in one form or another beyond June.  We haven't quite figured out the details yet.  65MD wants us to live off of "food stamp income" when we do return to shopping.  I think that is a fine idea, even though I'm fairly certain that we live within that already. According to my research so far, we do.  I'm going to do a little more investigating to be sure.  In any case, we are NOT feeling a pinch and we haven't changed our lifestyle.

Next week, our lifestyle will change a bit and I'm hoping the change will have a greater impact on this little adventure.  Next week, my mother will be moving in with us for a few days.  She is having the floors redone in her house and needs to be out for a week or so during that process.  We have all agreed that this is no reason to go to the store.  Although, she is on a restricted diet for health reasons, we have the fresh food from our garden that will easily see us through the time she is here.  She is excited to join us for a week on this little quest.  I am too.  I'm hoping this will shake things up a bit.  We'll see.

Another Kind of Food Dream

Last night I dreamt about cauliflower pizza!  Yes, I did.  I was in a situation in which everyone was eating.  I had a bag of cauliflower, that I'd brought with me.  When it came time to eat, I sauteed my cauliflower to make the pizza crust.  It was then that I realized I didn't quite know the recipe so I improvised.  My improvisations were great and I proceeded to enjoy the entire thing, while extolling the virtues of said pizza to anyone that would listen!!!

This is the second such dream I've had in recent weeks.  The other one involved eating kale.  The details escape me now, but both dreams lead me to wonder.  Have I had some sort of break through deep inside?  Now my mind naturally turns to more healthy options (eating the entire pizza aside), that has to be a good thing.  Right?

In the past, when I was deep in a weight loss plan, I'd have dreams about eating a whole cake.  Sometimes by accident and then trying to fix it.  I've blogged about them before.  I'm choosing to believe that this is maturity with the weight loss phase of my life and hoping that I am nearing the end of the phase.  I'm ready for maintenance.  At least I think I am.

Thoughts?

The First Casualty

Lemons!  I cut the last lemon today.  I knew that the first thing to be missed on this grocery shopping fast would be fresh produce.  So, I'm not surprised or upset.  Lemon is a nice addition to my tea, but I like it without lemon too.  I have several more wedges, but when they go, that's it.

We are still getting plenty of asparagus and lettuce from our garden so we are not lacking in fresh food.  And, we even have three strawberries!!!

Odds and Ends

I have a lot of little tidbits to share today.  None are long enough to warrant and entire post.  And they are dissimilar enough that they won't make a cohesive entry, or even a good segue.  I actually believe that I do that on other posts!!

Today, I want to share another thought about my niece, a NSV, and an update on the shopping fast.

My niece - She weighs almost 18 lbs according to my scales.  I began to look at her and try to visualize what I looked like with 'her' on my body almost 4 more times.  That is a little bit sobering.  So, I began to imagine myself with 'her' off of my a little more than 2 times.  That was more like it.  The sweet thing, is helping me more than I ever knew.

NSV - With all the joy in my life with the sweet baby, I got a little behind on laundry.  Both of my go to shorts were dirty.  No big deal since I work from home.  I would just leave my jammies on until the shorts got through washing.  Except that the dog wanted out.  I didn't feel right taking him out in my pajamaed state.   This isn't Walmart!!  Our dog is of the age that he'll just pee in the house if he isn't taken out in time.  So, I threw on a shirt and my biggest pair of too little shorts.  I thought I'd pull the shirt over the zipper so that it wasn't obvious that the shorts weren't fastened.  I tugged them on and then thought that just perhaps they would button.  They did.  They even zipped.  In fact, I wore them all day.  Now, I must admit that they were definitely tighter than I like my clothes to be, but still.  They were on.  So, feeling all svelte, I tried another pair today.  They are on and zipped and again I confess.  They are uncomfortable.  I'm wearing them anyway.  One day, I'll mention how these puppies are now too big!!

The Fast - So far, I've not even noticed that we are having a grocery store fast when it comes to eating and/or meal planning.  Of course, this is just the first week, but we're already thinking that we'll have to extend the fast or tweak it in another way.  We'll make that decision later.  The biggest difference for me, was when the sale papers came out this week, they went straight to the recycling bin.  And it was good.  I probably has a smile on my face when they went in.  It was unburdening somehow not to have to worry about looking them.  

The funniest thing was I had to pick up a prescription yesterday.  Our pharmacy is in the grocery store where I most often shop.  Of course, the sale papers were very prominently displayed at the entrance.  When I saw them, I had a moment of panic.  I didn't know what was on sale!!  Oh dear!!  Then I remembered I was there for medication and that was all.  I had a chuckle at my ingrained nature and proceeded to the pharmacy without further incident.

Clearly, only 6 days in, is too early to claim a victory.  But I can for sure say that we are firmly on the path to victory.  Time will tell.

Happy Times

Through a series of very fortunate events, (at least for me!) I will be taking care of my 6 month old niece three days per week for the next few months.   She's precious and I love having her here. We have had a lot of fun together.  I can't articulate just how much I enjoy her being here.  Seeing that sweet smile, and hearing that adorable laugh makes me smile and laugh too.

This little bundle of joy weighs almost 18 lbs and is obviously too little to be mobile on her own.  That means someone must carry her every where. I hadn't thought through the whole carrying around nearly 20 extra pounds until the second day she was here.  I noticed my calves were a little sore.  I could feel it in my upper arms when I lifted her.  Then I got another reason to be happy with her here.  She is my own little strength training!  I never thought I would enjoy 'working out' quite this much.  I just hope she sticks around long enough for me to get to my goal weight!

Stats & A Story

For the month of May, I gained 3 pounds and 3 inches.  BLAST!!  That does not make me happy.  But, I am not letting it upset me for several reasons.  One, I know what happened.  I gained 8 lbs over the wedding weekend that I didn't get off before going out of town only to have another bounce.  Being only three pounds up at the end of the month was a lot better than it could have been.  I got right back on track and started back down the scales again.

Next, I remind myself of just how far I've come.  From my highest weight 4 years ago, I have lost 62.8 lbs.  I only have 46 lbs to go.  I'm beyond the half way point.  

And finally, 65MD's encouragement.  Saturday, we were outside working in our little garden.  We were planting some late summer vegetables.  I was in an awkward position trying to avoid the plants that were already up and staying between the rows of tilled soil while I planted.  I decided the best thing to do would be to bend at the waist rather than get on my hands & knees.  There just wasn't room for that.  I knew that I'd have my ample backside directed at  my husband while I was bent over and hoped that he would not choose this time to crack jokes.  

He didn't.  In fact, he was most complimentary of my new figure.  He asked if I'd lost the regain or not.  I said that I hadn't but making progress.  He expressed some surprise saying it appeared to him that I was smaller now that I had been a few weeks ago.  Folks, that is a big deal when I knew the man was looking at my biggest body part!!!

I have thrived on that almost offhand comment ever since.  I am using that to keep myself encouraged to stay on track.  My goal is to have all of the regain off by the end of the week.  That way when I report my stats for June, I'll have another loss to celebrate.