Mental Battles

Folks, I had a hard weekend.  I was fighting those mental battles all weekend.  It was tough.  I wanted to eat and I wanted to eat a lot.  Hunger had nothing to do with the issue.  I just wanted to eat.  Oddly, the thing I wanted most was pork roast.  I wanted it cooked in the slow cooker and I wanted to sit down with a fork and just eat!

Of course, I didn't do that.  It takes too long to do that, and even if I'd started to cook one, I would have come to my senses before devouring it.  Still, even typing it, brings that image to mind and how much I would enjoy it.

This is the place in my journey where I start what I've termed "On Plan Cheating."  I'll eat way too many of the free foods or decide that I can eyeball the portions.  Maybe one more serving won't hurt.  Those things add up, stall weight loss, and fuel frustration.

So, in my determination not to eat half a pig at one sitting, I decided to try on some clothes that had been too snug.  I had two pairs of pants that the last time I put them on, they were too small, even though I could actually get them on.  Every bulge and bump showed, besides being uncomfortable.  And forget about sitting down.

I got one pair out and they slipped on just fine.  The matching top fit nicely too.  I was pleased.  I modeled for 65MD thinking with the better fitting clothes, he might mention that he could tell my weight was dropping.  He did not.

Still, buoyed by that success, I put on the other pair, which were the same size as the others.  I do not know how they were cut, but they looked absolutely horrible.  They were still too small in all of the wrong places.  They looked so bad, they were funny.  However, I did NOT show 65MD and I may never put them on again!  That image really didn't help things for me.  I tried to concentrate on the fact that I'd added a new outfit to my wardrobe.  It helped some.

On Sunday, my extended family came over for lunch.  I haven't seen some of them in a while, and I was guessing that I'd lost about 20 lbs since I'd seen a couple of them.  I was wearing my better fitting slacks and just knew someone would comment.  I can usually count on my mother to mention weight loss, to the point that I sometimes don't believe her.  No one said a thing.  Not even her.

I powered through.  It was the only choice I had.  Eating off plan while on hcg is guaranteed weight gain.  I couldn't have that.  I was rewarded with a nice loss this morning.  Just as I was beginning to feel like the battle was won.  I got a phone call.  The girl scout cookies I ordered are here.  Sigh!

(Don't worry, I won't eat them!)