Saturday Scale Says

This morning I weighed 179.2.  That is 34.2 lbs away from my goal of 145, and 6.8 lbs away from my lowest weight over the summer.  I'll get there soon enough.


Some of my long term readers might remember me blogging about a friend of a friend losing weight and giving me clothes.  She stalled out for a while, but has now dropped enough weight to clean out her closet again.  Once again, she thought of me and I've received quite a few new to me clothes.  This is just working out perfectly, if I can stay one size behind this lady all the way down, I'll be set for clothes. 


Catching up on the broken stepper...my co-worker volunteered to exchange it for me in her neighborhood!  Isn't that kind!!!  I hope to have my new equipment on Monday.


Both of these things, I believe to be confirmation that I am on the right track.  I hope everyone reading this is having great success and getting positive confirmations also!


Enjoy Saturday.

Victory Thursday!!

I've had a crazy week, and not much time to think about blogging.  So, this might not make any sense.  So, what else is new?  Right?


I returned to work on Tuesday after 11 glorious days out of the office, counting holidays and weekends, only to discover my computer out of commission.  I was unable to do much productive at the office for almost two entire days before the problem was diagnosed and resolved.  The diagnosis was the long part.  I knew I'd be behind after the extended absence, but now it has increased exponentially!


Despite that issue, I started the new year with a renewed vigor and focus on my weight loss plan.  I am determined to get to my goal this year.  I've had a great week of eating on plan, exercise and guzzling the water.  I feel great.  It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it.  I can get to my goal.  I feel it deep inside.


And now for another story of my frustrating week...On the way home from work today, J-boy and I stopped at the store and bought a stair stepper.  I sold my elliptical before Christmas because I felt like I had gotten all of the good I could from it physically.  Since that time, I've been faithfully using the Wii and Wii fit.  That feels like cheating at some level, since it is enjoyable, but I still get my heart rate up. 

Anyway, I'd had my eye on this piece of equipment for a while, and a co-worker told me that she'd seen them half price.  She told me where they were in the store and even offered to let me use her car to go get one.  (I have the best co-workers ever!!)  I managed to wait until the way home and got the last one in the store.  We came home and I put it together and I proceeded to try to use it.  J-boy had only been an observer up until this point.  When it didn't work he stepped in to save the day for me by putting it together properly.   Ahem...that didn't work either.  We realized fairly quickly where the problem was and then noticed that a weld had come loose causing it to malfunction.  The steps wouldn't go back up after they were pressed down.  Both of us got a pretty good work-out trying to repair it, but I still did my Wii work-out.  

We'll have to take it back.  I'm bummed on two levels.  One, just the pain of having to take it back is irritating.  Two, it was the last one, so I'll have to keep shopping.  I had my mind ready and now I have to wait.  I'm not good at that.


The scales are moving in the right direction with the Wii/Wii fit combo, so I won't stay upset long.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year one & all!  I've been dropping in and reading blogs, commenting here & there, but haven't been fully engaged in over a week.  I've had a blast with my family, but the out of town ones are on their way home, so I am slowly returning to reality.  I have one more day off from work to recover and prepare then it is full steam ahead.


There were two incidents/conversations that happened during the course of the week that I want to share, but first the big happy news from my younger sister and her family.  They decided to adopt the precious little foster baby they've had in their home and in their hearts for most of his two sweet little years on this earth.  They are displaying enormous faith and love by taking in this little darling.  His mother used meth while he was in uteri and he will suffer the physical consequences the rest of his life.  We would all appreciate prayers for his life with them.  To think of what his life would have been if YS and her family had not been open to him still brings tears to my eyes.  Now on to the more weight related portion of this blog...

Our celebration was delayed a couple of days due to snow and dangerous driving conditions for YS.  We had a grand time once they got here and the festivities began.  I had decided that I would eat whatever was served in normal portions and not worry about the carbs/calories/fat and just enjoy the time with family.  I did, and the scales responded accordingly.  I think there were two factors involved, one is my body overreacts to any increase in fat, sugar or simple carbs.  The second is, I have a lot of amnesia when it comes to the amount of snacking I do.  I know that I cannot ever be 'normal' when it comes to food. 

Although the week got off to a cold, snowy start on Thursday we had an almost springlike day.  We decided to grill hamburgers.  J-boy did it all.  He even sliced potatoes and made real french fries, cooked in oil on the stove.  YUM!  I had a burger with my homemade dill pickles and fries for supper.  It was indeed a taste of summer time.  But, the food just laid in my stomach like a lump.  I could feel it there and it was not happy.  I tried to rest on the couch for a while, but that didn't help, and I finally chewed some antacids.  We decided to watch a DVD and relax for the evening.  I was really not feeling well at all.  About 45 minutes in to the show, I got sick.  I'll spare the ugly details, but I spent a few hours on the toilet with the trash can in my lap. 

I was fearful that the whole family had picked up a bug or had eaten something bad, but no one, not even J-boy, had a twinge.  I was as sick as I had been in years.  I could not even keep down Sprite, and everyone else was walking around hale and hearty.  It was clear to me that my body was saying it had enough and I needed to get back to wholesome eating.  I couldn't eat for about 24 hours, but I'm fine now and right on target with eating.

The conversation I want to share also happened on Thursday.  I was going to make it my victory for the week, but I was otherwise occupied Thursday evening and unable to blog.  ;-)  My sisters and I were chatting about the joys of growing older.  My older sister mentioned that she was wearing glasses now to cover up how old her eyes looked.  I disagreed that her eyes looked old and suggested that she drink more water to ease some of the puffiness she perceived to be there.  Honestly, I really didn't see it.  I lamented the growing turkey waddle under my chin.  It has grown with my declining weight.  My younger sister said she thought it had improved since she'd seen me at the end of the summer.  Since she doesn't see me as often I think she has a better perspective from which to measure change.  I thanked her, but said I was still considering surgery after getting to my goal.  My older sister laughed a good bit at that idea and said she didn't know why I'd do that.  She said, "You look so much more comfortable than you did before." 

I thought that was a very interesting choice of words - 'comfortable.'  I've contemplated that quite a bit in the days since.  She's right.  I am more comfortable.  I am more comfortable in my body.  I can move more easily.  I am more comfortable in my clothes.  They don't bind and constrict like they used to.  I am more comfortable at work.  I feel somehow like I have more credibility after gaining control over this part of my life.  Comfortable...

The process hasn't always been comfortable, but it has been worth it.  For 2011, I'm going to continue a pursuit of comfort!  I like thinking of it in those terms.  A little 'discomfort' now in the form of forgoing foods that I know are bad for me anyway, and getting with it in the workouts, will pay off with far more comfort in days to come.  Here's to comfort for all of us in the coming year...

Merry Christmas

The weather has delayed our celebration a day, but that is fine with me.  It just stretches things out another day.


I hope everyone has had a great time with family and friends.  I know I have.  And I will continue to all week.

Victory Thursday!!

I have struggled all day about what to include in my victories this week.  I have not exercised unless you count walking the long way to the copier at work and walking to a coworker's desk rather than calling, stuff like that.  I've eaten cookies, caramel popcorn, and cheesecake.  All in all, I was chalking this up to be a bad week. I was disappointed with myself for not doing better.  I was trying to think of a way to confess all of this and discuss how I needed to get back to the right path before I gained all the weight back when I realized I was slipping in to that all or nothing mindset.  If I'm not 100% on plan then I'm failing way of thinking.  That just simply was not true.

 

Even though I ate cookies, caramel popcorn & cheesecake during the course of the last 7 days.  I've also chosen nuts over candy because I really preferred the nuts.  I didn't eat the whole slice of cheesecake because I was getting too full and wasn't enjoying it enough.  It is in the refrigerator waiting for me, and has been there since Tuesday night.  Not once did I think, that I might as well polish off the cookies after I'd had one or two.  Those choices and the fact that I actually do walk to a coworker's desk rather than pick up the phone are all major shifts in mindset for me.  While I won't be conditioned for a marathon by doing that, every step does count.  Every good choice lays the groundwork for the next one.

 

I've also learned that I'm cued visually to eat.  If I don't see the cookies, I can get busy and forget about them.  If they are displayed on the table or even in a clear container, I want one every time I walk by.  All of the treats are in containers that are solid.  I can't see a thing!  I'm also cutting way back on the amount of treats I'm making.

 

This sort of progress is gradual and hard to notice, but is it the sort of progress that is real.  This is the sort of progress that will stay with me when the weight loss phase of this journey is over.  These are the choices that become habit.  The mindset becomes such that picking up the phone doesn't enter my mind, I just get up and walk.  From that perspective, I've had a great week!!

Fifty Day Report #5

I haven't had a very successful week this week in meeting my goals, but I did lose weight.  Not a good combination, as there is some negative reinforcement going on there.  Now, I'll start thinking about how I ate cookies and still lost weight.  Before I expound anymore, though, I want to get to my goal reporting, that will explain a lot. 
1.  Drink two protein drinks per day - didn't happen.  I don't think I drank a protein drink all week.  I knew my heart wasn't in it when I committed to it last week, but I thought the accountability would pull me through.  It didn't!
2.  Exercise three times per week - not this week! I got in two and the second one was before posting so I wouldn't have to confess only once.  I finally came to the realization that I'm going to have to do something totally new to get back on the exercise wagon.  I've sold my elliptical and am seriously considering buying a stepper.
3. Lose some amount of weight - check, total loss so far with my personal 50 day challenge is 2.8 lbs, and I have two weeks left.
4. Water - check.  I got this one this week



I will work Monday through Thursday of next week, and don't have any parties or anything to interrupt things.  I see myself staying on course easily during that time.  I read the term 'pre-cheating' the other day and I love it!  That used to be sooooo me!  Now, I think about how much weight can I lose before the event so as to negate the damage.  For those days, I plan to eat much like I did this week, small meals with healthy food.  I love clementines, so I ate a lot of those this week and will next week too.  I'm also planning to blog during this time too, even if it is only on Victory Thursday.

My sister from out of town will arrive with her family next weekend and will stay until January 1 or 2.  That is what I live for.  We have a blast every year at this time.  We have one big party from one house to another all week. I'm taking the week off from work so I won't miss a second of it.  Most of the time we're at our mother's house playing games, working puzzles, and just enjoying being together.  We sometimes go to my sister's house or my house because there is something that just must be done in that locale.  Really, it is great.  I love it.

There is snack food galore too.  This year, I've decided to take my own snacks.  I can make snack mix that is better than what is in the store.  I've got tons of fruit and my niece would pick a piece of fruit over a potato chip any day.  I've got an ally in her.  I offered to make a big pot of chili for us too.  I thought that way, I could control what exactly was in it!  My mother loved the idea, and expanded it.  Now everyone is making chili!!  It will be so much fun to see what everyone comes up with.  My nephews are even getting in on it.

For that week, I'll be reading blogs, but probably not doing much writing.  I'm planning to have some chili along with reasonable meals.  I'm not going to count carbs, calories or fat grams.  I'm also not going to eat the entire plate of cookies either.  I think this past week has proven to me that I can make good choices without following a strict regimen.

Once my sister leaves and the dust has settled, I'm right back in the saddle, baby!!  I'm going to get this last 30+ lbs off and move on to maintenance.

This Week's Victories

This has been a busy week.  It started with a snow/ice 'event' as the weather people call it, on Sunday.  From the time J-boy and I got home from church Sunday AM, I did not go outside until I left for work Tuesday morning!!  Believe me, I was fine with that.


I filled my water bottles and got all my water down.  I had made cookies for our church Christmas program Sunday night and for the group we facilitate on Monday nights.  Both things were canceled. I thought of all sorts of good reasons to eat the cookies, like they won't be fresh next week.  I gave in to temptation a time or two, but most of the cookies are still there.  That is huge.  In the past, I would have eaten almost all of them.


Tuesday was a catchup day at work and the board meeting Tuesday evening.  There are lots of goodies floating around the office these days, but yesterday I had a great eating day.  I was right back on the wagon without a thought to chucking it all until the first of the year.


Wednesday we learned out neighbor passed away.  We knew he was gravely ill and wasn't going to last much longer, but it was still a sad thing to learn.  I had planned a blog entry about him earlier in the week and didn't get to it.  I still might.


Also on Wednesday, a co-worker asked if I'd started losing weight again.  She has struggled with her weight and so I've confided in her a little more about the recent stall in my own weight loss.  Another co-worker was there and said she'd noticed the same thing recently and was impressed that I was actually losing weight during the holidays. 

Finally for an actual scale victory - I have been yo-yoing between 181 and 179.6 for weeks now.  Finally this morning the scale read 179.0!!  Today, I am being extra careful so that the scale continues downward.  I'll report Saturday at the latest so stay tuned to see if this trend continues.