Happy New Year

Happy New Year one & all!  I've been dropping in and reading blogs, commenting here & there, but haven't been fully engaged in over a week.  I've had a blast with my family, but the out of town ones are on their way home, so I am slowly returning to reality.  I have one more day off from work to recover and prepare then it is full steam ahead.


There were two incidents/conversations that happened during the course of the week that I want to share, but first the big happy news from my younger sister and her family.  They decided to adopt the precious little foster baby they've had in their home and in their hearts for most of his two sweet little years on this earth.  They are displaying enormous faith and love by taking in this little darling.  His mother used meth while he was in uteri and he will suffer the physical consequences the rest of his life.  We would all appreciate prayers for his life with them.  To think of what his life would have been if YS and her family had not been open to him still brings tears to my eyes.  Now on to the more weight related portion of this blog...

Our celebration was delayed a couple of days due to snow and dangerous driving conditions for YS.  We had a grand time once they got here and the festivities began.  I had decided that I would eat whatever was served in normal portions and not worry about the carbs/calories/fat and just enjoy the time with family.  I did, and the scales responded accordingly.  I think there were two factors involved, one is my body overreacts to any increase in fat, sugar or simple carbs.  The second is, I have a lot of amnesia when it comes to the amount of snacking I do.  I know that I cannot ever be 'normal' when it comes to food. 

Although the week got off to a cold, snowy start on Thursday we had an almost springlike day.  We decided to grill hamburgers.  J-boy did it all.  He even sliced potatoes and made real french fries, cooked in oil on the stove.  YUM!  I had a burger with my homemade dill pickles and fries for supper.  It was indeed a taste of summer time.  But, the food just laid in my stomach like a lump.  I could feel it there and it was not happy.  I tried to rest on the couch for a while, but that didn't help, and I finally chewed some antacids.  We decided to watch a DVD and relax for the evening.  I was really not feeling well at all.  About 45 minutes in to the show, I got sick.  I'll spare the ugly details, but I spent a few hours on the toilet with the trash can in my lap. 

I was fearful that the whole family had picked up a bug or had eaten something bad, but no one, not even J-boy, had a twinge.  I was as sick as I had been in years.  I could not even keep down Sprite, and everyone else was walking around hale and hearty.  It was clear to me that my body was saying it had enough and I needed to get back to wholesome eating.  I couldn't eat for about 24 hours, but I'm fine now and right on target with eating.

The conversation I want to share also happened on Thursday.  I was going to make it my victory for the week, but I was otherwise occupied Thursday evening and unable to blog.  ;-)  My sisters and I were chatting about the joys of growing older.  My older sister mentioned that she was wearing glasses now to cover up how old her eyes looked.  I disagreed that her eyes looked old and suggested that she drink more water to ease some of the puffiness she perceived to be there.  Honestly, I really didn't see it.  I lamented the growing turkey waddle under my chin.  It has grown with my declining weight.  My younger sister said she thought it had improved since she'd seen me at the end of the summer.  Since she doesn't see me as often I think she has a better perspective from which to measure change.  I thanked her, but said I was still considering surgery after getting to my goal.  My older sister laughed a good bit at that idea and said she didn't know why I'd do that.  She said, "You look so much more comfortable than you did before." 

I thought that was a very interesting choice of words - 'comfortable.'  I've contemplated that quite a bit in the days since.  She's right.  I am more comfortable.  I am more comfortable in my body.  I can move more easily.  I am more comfortable in my clothes.  They don't bind and constrict like they used to.  I am more comfortable at work.  I feel somehow like I have more credibility after gaining control over this part of my life.  Comfortable...

The process hasn't always been comfortable, but it has been worth it.  For 2011, I'm going to continue a pursuit of comfort!  I like thinking of it in those terms.  A little 'discomfort' now in the form of forgoing foods that I know are bad for me anyway, and getting with it in the workouts, will pay off with far more comfort in days to come.  Here's to comfort for all of us in the coming year...