Pickles

My long time readers may remember that I love pickles.  For my more recent readers, here's a recap.  I love pickles.  I make my own dill pickles using a recipe that my grandmother used and a couple of aunts taught me the technique.  65MD grows cucumbers and dill in the yard for me.  I get enough most summers to last until the next summer.  This year my uncle had some extra cucumbers so I should have enough to last more than a year.

I don't really feel bad about loving dill pickles.  They are cucumbers soaked in vinegar, salt and dill.  I really think they should count as a vegetable.   If that were the case, I'd have no trouble getting in all my veggies every day!

I made the first batch of pickles this summer on June 29.  They need to soak at least six weeks to get good and sour.    The longer they sit the better.  I cracked open a jar the other day and was not disappointed with the outcome.  This particular jar was a pint sized jar with whole cucumbers in it.  I think there were 4.  I ate them all, with a little mustard on them.  That was my supper - a pint of dill pickles.  Anyone care to guess what happened this morning?

My weight was up 2 pounds.  Yeap, I'd finally squeezed of two pounds this week only to put it back on over night.  I cut down on the salt this year, hoping to negate this issue a bit.  Sadly, it didn't help.  My hands are so swollen, I can feel my rings.  I know this is just temporary.  And, I know I only have myself to blame.  I'm still chugging the water today, hoping that in the morning that two pounds will be gone for good.  Alas!

Home & Well

We are home.  The surgery was very successful  The surgeon was pleased and confident that he got everything.  65MD is acting like nothing has happened to him and I am ready for a nap.  Maybe I got the sedation?!?!

Thanks for your prayers and concern.

Monday Mileage

Last week I walked 57,292 steps. My goal was 60,000.  I got much closer this week than last.  Progress is progress.  For the year, I have walked 609 of the 1,000 miles I hope to walk.  I'm getting better at being a little more deliberate about how I spend my time.  I'm pleased with my progress.  I think I will only continue to improve.

I had a great week last week with all three legs of my weight loss stool.  I was fearful that my birthday weekend would get me off track completely.  I am pleased with the choices I made and am totally back on board this morning.

I had a few indulgences but most of the time opted for the healthy choices.  For example, my extended family took me to lunch yesterday after church.  We went to a place that has an endless buffet. On Sundays, there are breakfast options along with meat and sides.  There is a decent salad bar as well.  I knew without looking that the meat options would be battered and fried.  The side dishes would be largely carbohydrates like rice, various potato options, corn, etc.  Breakfast would include traditional options like bacon, sausage & eggs along with pancakes, biscuits, toast, cinnamon rolls and the like.  It is possible to make healthy selections in a situation like that but I know myself well enough to know that I could start out making good choices and maybe even continue to get the best options, but not likely.  Furthermore, no matter what I ate, it would be too much.  So, I ordered off the menu.

I ordered first, so that I would not be swayed by everyone else.  They all got the buffet.  I had made up my mind to get unsweet tea as an indulgence.  I forgot and asked for water!  I was half way through my meal before I had that realization.  I got a chef salad without dressing.  That wasn't a hard decision since I really don't care for salad dressing. I really enjoyed my salad and didn't have any kind of food envy for those eating biscuits and gravy or pancakes.  In fact, my sister said she wished she'd gotten a salad like mine.  She didn't realize they were on the menu.

Of course my family told the server that it was my birthday so she brought me chocolate cake and ice cream.   The cake was dry so I ate only a few bites, but I did eat the ice cream.  I had been wanting some since Friday night.   I gave the cake to everyone else at the table and there was no protest from them!

Now, if I could only get the scales to cooperate.  They shot up significantly this morning.  I regained everything I lost during the week and picked up two more pounds.  That is really not good.  It is frustrating to say the least, but when I look back over the weekend I don't see much I would change.  I feel good in my head and that is where it counts the most.  I feel in the groove and am not spending any time beating myself up over the choices I made.  I'll get the weight back off and as I continue to make good choices it will become more and more natural.  It is already feeling that way.

On a personal note, 65MD is scheduled for surgery at 1:30 today CDT.  It should last about 1 1/2 hours.  After some recovery time, we should be able to come home.  I'd appreciate your prayers.  I'll post again as soon as I can.

And So It Begins

Tomorrow is my birthday.  Tonight is the first dinner out to celebrate.  I have another tomorrow and one on Sunday.  Now, I'm all about the party.  Nothing makes me happier with being with the people I love no matter what the reason.  I am thrilled to have so many people that want to celebrate with me.  I want so much to embrace the moment and enjoy the love that surrounds me.  I do not want to spoil it by obsessing over carbs, or calories.

On the other hand, I have had a fabulous week with my steps, my food and my water.  Funny how letting myself of the hook of trying to do everything all the time allowed me to actually do it.  I know how precarious these times are.  I know that one little slip or even a planned indulgence can send me in to a tailspin that can take weeks to overcome.  I'm still battling a 30 pound tailspin.  I really feel like I turned things around this week.  I want to stay on this course.

I need to find that place of balance where I'm happy with myself and my choices but not burdening everyone else with them.  Here's hoping for the best this weekend.

Yesterday

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending a bridal shower for a dear former coworker.  There were the typical shower foods along with cake, punch and strawberry/lemon water.  As I went through the line, I was catching up on the news from other former coworkers, so that I was filling my plate in a rather absent minded way.  (Is this what normal people do rather than obsess over ever morsel put on the plate?)  I got my drink and sat down to continue our chat. 

Somewhere along the lines I noticed my friend drinking punch and realized I automatically opted for the water. That is when I thought about the punch and the water and knew I didn't want that sickeningly sweet stuff.  I wanted the cool, crisp water with the light fruity taste.  Then I looked at my food.  I had mostly fruit, cheese and these little slices of pork.  (I don't know what they'd be called.)  Lest I leave the wrong impression there was also cream cheese dip with graham crackers and half an oatmeal cookie.  In the past my plate would have been just the opposite, mostly sweets with a little fruit & cheese to look respectable.

I was able to give myself honest praise for this.  Even the oatmeal cookie was a better choice than some of the other sweets offered. I really feel like I turned a corner at some point and hadn't realized it yet.  The little changes that I have worked so hard to maintain are actually becoming habits.  I know I still have a long road ahead, but for now I am celebrating how far I've come.  It is important for me to do that, so that I don't become discouraged.  Today I am very encouraged.

Monday Mileage

As of last night I have 590 miles towards my goal of 1000 miles this year.  I've done well but I'm really going to have to amp it up to get to the goal.  I have just over 4 months to walk just over 400 miles.  That is 100 miles per month, which is more than I have been averaging.

I've been doing nearly all of my walking outside since I started working from home.  Doing laps around the dining room table makes me dizzy and the dog thinks I'm nuts.  So far, I've been blessed with great outdoor walking weather.  When the rain comes I can adjust my schedule and walk after the rain is over.  If one day, I don't get all my steps in, I can make them up another day.  (at least in theory!)  I know the day is coming, however, when walking outside won't be as appealing.  I've got to come up with a secondary plan.

The obvious choice seems to me to be going someplace indoors to walk, like a mall or a gym.  That is certainly doable.  I'll just have to make adjustments so that I get all of my walking done at once if I go that route.  At this point in time, I bill my clients an hourly rate for my time.  It will chew up too many billable hours to drive some place, walk a lap, and drive back home.  Not to mention burn a lot of gas!  Now, I just walk in the morning before work and in the evenings after work for about half of my daily steps.  The rest, I get walking around in the house or the yard.  A few steps here and there add up to a lot of steps at the end of the day.  I'll ponder it some more.  I've got a little time before I have to make that decision.

In the meantime, I'm telling myself good things about myself, and drinking lots of water.

I'm A Fraud!

Since losing weight, quite a few friends have asked for advice or told me that I inspired them to lose weight.  Despite my feelings of being a fraud, since I've fought these same pounds for far too long, my standard advise has been to take it slow and change one thing at a time.  Make it manageable and then it won't be so hard to sustain.

On my morning walk, I was thinking of one friend in particular.  She is a very busy mom to four young children and needs to trim down a few pounds.  She's not nearly as 'gross' as she perceives herself to be.  I had encouraged her to find one small thing to change and only focus on that.  When it becomes second nature find something else easy to do and build that success layer upon layer.  She is trying very hard and I am quite proud of her accomplishments.  I encourage her every chance I get.

After my walk, I checked on some of my blog friends.  I have a cyber friend that is working to make small improvements in her lifestyle as well.  As I was leaving a comment on a blog congratulating her on her accomplishment, I realized I needed to take my own advice.

I have just had a major life adjustment in leaving the corporate world to working from home.  It is the realization of a dream I've had for years.  While it is all good and I'm thrilled to be fulfilling a life long dream, there are some major adjustments going on.  I have been beating myself up over not being able to sustain my weight loss efforts at the same time.

For me, weight loss is a three legged stool.  All three must be in place, and in balance for optimal weight loss.  The three legs are:

• Healthy eating
• Exercise
• Water

The eating plan and exercise plan may change, but all three legs are required for the stool to work.

I mistakenly thought that all three things would be easier once I was home and able to focus.  I was wrong.  Walking is much more deliberate now.  Even though I can do it any time, I must make the time.  It is easy to think I'll do that in a little while, but a little while never comes.  If I'm not walking what is the use of skipping the brownie and then why drink all that water when Icees are just $0.99.

Get the picture, I have really been struggling lately and frustrated with the struggle because I did not anticipate it.  I have been beating myself up and very much feeling like the fraud I mentioned earlier.  I mean really, I am.  I am giving out this very good advice and not taking it.  I am not being encouraging  to myself like I try to be for others.  I'd never talk to a friend the way I talk to myself.

No more!  I will not talk to myself in a way that is not encouraging.  I will take baby steps just like I advise all of my friends IRL and in cyberworld.  Beginning today the negative messages will be cut off.  They will not be entertained. 

Once I am good at recognizing and stopping those negative thoughts. I will replace them with a positive thought.  Then I'll look at each leg of my stool to make sure it is strong.  I'll start with water since it is the easiest.  BUT, I'm not going to get ahead of myself now and try to do everything at once.  Now is the time to stop the negative self talk.  I am not a fraud.  I am a human. I am doing the best that I can.