Total Weight Loss

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


When I started this blog, I promised myself I would be honest. I decided to put the good, the bad and the ugly out there for the world to see. I was going to shed light on the struggles of this journey that often get swept under the rug. I felt like it would be a service to all of those coming behind not to have unrealistic expectations about the weight loss journey. Because often it is those unrealistic expectations that lead to failure.

But the reality for me is that I struggle every time I decide that I need to blog about the bad and ugly part. Part of the reason is that there are actual real live people reading this blog. I don't know if I really believed that would happen or not. I like having readers and I love reading other blogs. I have come to rely on the community I have found in blog land. I don't want my readers to get sick of my whining, complaining and moaning and stop reading. It is a silly notion, but it exisits.

It is silly because I have never, ever had the idea that I would stop reading someone's blog because they were real with their life. It gets back to that old struggle of holding myself to a higher standard. Everyone else can have problems. I am as understanding and supportive as I can be of their issues, but somehow I have to be a little bit better. It irritates me to know that I behave in such a manner, but I do and I'm working to change that.

It is silly because every time I have put myself out there. I have not been rejected by any means. I've been surrounded by so much support that it sometimes brings a tear to my eye. Yesterday was no exception.

Today, I want to say thank you!! Thank you for accepting me just the way I am. Thank you for looking past the arrogance and perfectionism to the honest, struggling person inside desparately trying to improve. Thank you for being honest with me in return. The wall that I built around myself, trying to protect myself from rejection by being perfect, is crumbling. While that is a fabulous and wonderful thing, it is also frightening and I'll need continued support to make it. I will, with your help. Thank you!


  1. Yeah, me too. :) Deb

  2. standing by with a shoulder, an ear, and a chisel to get rid of that wall. we LOVE you and your blog because we ARE you. we all have the same struggles, triumphs, and yes gosh darn it failures. you just write about iut so much more eloquantly than i do. never feel bad for being "real" or needing support. goodness knows tomorrow it might be me in need!

  3. Sometimes the whole things just seems like two steps forward, three backward with never any time to rest. But we keep on and we support each other and it makes a beautiful mosaic!

  4. I am so with you on this issue!! With all my trying, I'm still not perfect. Kind of wears me out trying!! There is freedom in letting it go! I am getting used to that freedom.

    Keep up the great work my friend and stay focused!!!