I hope I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch with this one because often when I blog about having something under control stuff happens to make me aware that I don't. I'll forge ahead and see...
On Friday evening I have to attend an awards banquet with 65MD. It is one of those end of the academic year fancy-shmancy things, where everyone has to dress up and chit chat with people they hardly know and act like it is fun. While I can't really say I'm looking forward to it; I certainly don't have the fear of it I once did, at least with regard to the food.
When I first started this journey, any sort of deviation where I had no control of the food would send me in to a tailspin. I feared the least little slip up in eating would cause me to gain every ounce of weight back immediately. I would get 65MD to get the menu and figure out how to make it work in whatever plan I happened to be doing at the time. Sometimes I would precheat. Sometimes I would post cheat. Sometimes I'd do both. Sometimes I'd just refuse to go.
This time it is different. This time my attitude is almost one of indifference. I'll go, eat what I want and hopefully wake up Saturday morning and slip right back in to the routine. We'll know for sure on Saturday morning. I can say right now, that there has been no precheating.
What could this be? Personal growth? A normal relationship with food? Possibly, quite possibly! Time will tell.
The scales were up a bit this morning. It is a bit of a head-scratcher, since I don't know why. This isn't supposed to happen with hcg. I'm fairly certain that I have not done any emotional eating. Right now, I'm coping with me less than ideal living situation by reading rather than eating. Today, I'll be extra diligent and make sure I get my water in. I've decided to try to drink half my body weight in ounces every day. It should get easier every day as my weight goes down! ;-D
Lessons Learned
4 years ago
Love it! Want that normalcy for myself:)
ReplyDeleteBoy, this couldn't have come at a better time. I'm sitting here getting mentally prepared for one of these "things" I have to go to TONIGHT!! It's in one of those mansions that's probably on the lake, but who would know since you can't see behind the iron gates and thirty foot brick walls. Get the picture?? Remember, I'm the introvert - Mr. B is in his element and I'd just as soon hide out in the bathroom. Will I cheat? Probably not! Did I pre-cheat? Duh??? Good luck with your "do" tomorrow night!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post - and what a great victory! You're learning, eh? When I lost the weight the last time (back in 1995, I think), I panicked anytime that I didn't have control over the menu - I was deep into perfectionism (except I didn't realize it at the time) and part of that is big-time control. I have since learned sooooo much. It's not about the little bumps along the way - it's about the big picture.
ReplyDeleteOh and I love the "a bit of a head scratcher" - love that phrase. Lots of times odd WIs are just that - except I still try to figure it out -- I am learning to just move on and ahead!
D
This is great! I so identify with the pre-cheat foolishness. Since it's Thrusday, there's certainly not much pre-cheat time left, so wahoo with that phase. I hope that Saturday brings good news saying taht you enjoyed yourself and ate moderate amounts of wonderful food. :)
ReplyDeleteDeb
sounds like you've got a handle on it sweetie. have fun and sat will take care of its self. xoxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteIt is Friday morning and I still haven't precheated.
ReplyDelete