Total Weight Loss

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My Heart Isn't in It

I'm trying but I'm really not making any progress. My heart just isn't it in.  I don't have that spark of determination.  I did not start back on the hcg because of my lack of desire.  I didn't want to waste it, my time or my energy.  If I tried and was unsuccessful, I'd probably just implode.
 
But this lethargy related to weight loss, has got to go.  I don't like it one bit.  I'm trying to fake it until I make it.  So far I much more faking it than making it.  I don't think I'm faking it very well either. 
 
 
I'm tired.  I know a large part of the exhaustion is the long recovery from e-coli.  I've heard that it will last at least a month.  I'm taking probiotics. I know that healthy eating will only help the process, but I just can't quite make it happen.  I am determined, however not to use the illness as a reason (excuse).  It will only become easier to rely on that way of thinking, if I do.
 
Don't misunderstand, I'm not pigging out on candy and ice cream.  I'm just not counting anything.  I'm not counting carbs, calories, portions or anything else.  As a result, I'm eating too much and not making the best choices.  Mentally, it would be easier to do the hcg because so many of the options are taken away.  Somehow, I just can't seem to work up the 'want to.' 
 
That's my problem.  I just don't want to bad enough right now.  I am fearful of regaining so that is keeping me somewhat under control and away from the candy.  That, and my body feels floppy.  Eventually, I'll reach a critical mass, and the importance of weight loss will out weigh the lethargy and apathy.  I'll be back and then - lookout, baby!!

6 comments:

  1. Friend I've been right where you are....Just pulling myself out of a slump. Believe me, you want to be here!! So come on....We can do this!! I know you have what it takes!! You can do it!! I believe in you!!

    Keep focused!

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  2. I understand. I'm kind of in the same mindset right now, too. Not tracking means too much food for me, too. Sometimes a person just needs a big jolt or something, right?

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  3. i do understand and i'm glad it's not a free for all but you know you need to just do it. i'm sending you some energy and addin you to my prayers. if the hcg is what you need to do then maybe you should do it. good luck sweetie! xoxoxoxoxo

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  4. ((( hugs ))) I've been there also - it's so strange how we can have such enthusiasm and then poof! it's gone! I think it's good to fake it until you get that groove back. It usually works for me.
    Dawn

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  5. I posted a link to your blog on mine today...
    ;)
    Dawn

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  6. Don't be too hard on yourself, if the e-coli is still a little in your system, your body probably needs all the nutrients it can get to fight it off. And I think it is good to take diet breaks every now and then, and I'm sure you'll find that motivation again soon! :)

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