Saturday Scale Report

This morning the scale said 180.2.  That is a gain of 2.4 lbs.  Not bad in the great scheme of things, but not good at all.  If I had lost 2.4 lbs from last week's weight, I'd no longer be obese.  I'm trying not to think about that.


I'm trying hard to get to a better place mentally.  For me that's the battle far more than what my eating/exercise plan is.  Once I get my head in the right place, the other just seems to slip right in to place.


I have the family picnic this afternoon.  I think I'm ready for that mentally.  That is all I have to be ready for right now - the next meal.  I'll worry about next week, next week.  For today, I've contemplated all of the foods that I know will be there.  Every relative has their special dish that they bring, so I can guess fairly accurately.  I'll eat a hamburger without the bun.  Even though my mother told me this morning that she got whole wheat buns, I doubt I'll eat one.  I'd have to look at the label for myself.  Labeling can be so sneaky.  Of the side dishes that I anticipate seeing, I'm not tempted.  I don't want macaroni salad or potato salad.  I don't even want chips.  When I really sat down and thought about it, what I want is watermelon.  My mouth is almost watering right now, just thinking about that icy cold goodness.  I think watermelon is a good choice.  I'll eat that.


The desserts are harder for me.  Good, homemade desserts always have been my crack.  I am a dessert snob because that is my specialty.  I can make the best cakes, cookies, pies, cheesecake, etc. that you ever put in your mouth.  I am a from scratch baker.  I don't even do that cake doctor stuff.  Cake mixes have an under taste to me.  So, I'm going with the snob factor and telling myself that I can make whatever it is later, and probably much better.  I think I can do that.


There is, however the possibility of homemade peach ice cream.  I have an ice cream freezer and could make my own,  but I won't.  It is a full size freezer and J-boy and I just can't eat a whole thing.  (Shocking, isn't it?!)  This time, I'm thinking I might indulge in a small amount.  I depends on how full I am from the watermelon feast.  Homemade ice cream fits in somewhat in my philosophy about natural foods in that it won't have preservatives and chemicals I can't pronounce like in the store bought stuff.  It will have sugar, though and therein lies my problem.  Tuesday demonstrated to me that I can't handle that.


Am I deluding myself if I think I can have a bite or two of homemade peach ice cream and not run headlong in to something worse?  (BTW, I fed the tagalongs to Petey Thursday night.  A coworker told me that her dog ate oreos with no side effects, so I didn't think Petey would be in danger.  He gladly gobbled up the last 6 tagalongs.  He's been fine.)  Can a heroin addict have just one hit on special occasions, and be sober from then on?  If I don't indulge will I feel deprived and go buy much worse stuff?  I'd appreciate feedback on this point, because I really don't think I am thinking clearly.


On a much happier note, a dear friend started her weight loss journey after I told her about the hcg, and the girl is losing weight like wildfire.  I am truly happy for her.  I feel a little pride in my part of her success.  Clearly, I know the battle she's faced, and I don't take anything away from her accomplishments.  She did it, not me.  I'm just glad I was able to point her in the right direction.