This morning the scale read 178.8!! That is just 1.2 lbs. up from my lowest weight before the frustration of the last couple of weeks. I've lost almost all of the 'creep' and am almost in chartered territory again!! It feels great. In 3.4 pounds I'll no longer be obese, merely overweight.
One thing I have learned on this journey is that what works for one person may or may not work for another. What works now, may or may not work down the road a way. The one and only constant I have found is my mind. Once I make up my mind that I am going to do this (count calories, count carbs, exercise 5 days a week, etc.) whatever the 'this' is, the battle is won. There may be skirmishes here and there along the way and it may not be easy every step of the way, but the final battle is over. It reminds me a little bit of what I was taught in Sunday School as a child. If I made up my mind to obey God, then the decisions were made for me. All I had to do was walk down that path. Maybe there is something too that after all.
All that to say, that for the last two weeks or so, my mind has not been focused. I floundered. I began to wonder what had caused things to get so wildly out of hand when it seemed I was marching right down that weight loss path with hardly an obstacle. I know part of it, is just poor memory on my part, but I also knew that there had to be something more. A friend said something to me about having lost 80 pounds. She was generously rounding up. I corrected her, but the number I said (77 lbs) was unreal to me somehow. I didn't realize it then, but I think that big number was messing with my head. It took another friend saying something about being so close to my goal that made things click. I think somehow, my brain could not comprehend the massive weight loss. I don't think I ever believed it was actually possible to lose 100 lbs. My thought was more like, I'll lose as much as I can and try to live with that. Since deep inside I didn't believe it was possible I was making that reality.
So, now my latest head game is, I'm not saying how many pounds I've lost. I'm saying how many pounds to goal. That is a much easier number to wrap my mind around.