Let me preface by saying I had not shared my angst with him as I did on the blog recently. He knows I have a blog but I doubt if he even remembers the name. He's not in to blogs. I'm not trying to keep my feelings from him. He's no dummy. He knows my struggles. However, I had not shared the depth of my most recent feelings.
Last night as we were eating plan approved quiche and country biscuits, (I promise to get to the reviews soon!) I told him I really appreciated him being such a good sport. And shared with him some ideas I had for meals over the next few days. I was asking for his input as to what he thought he'd like or what he'd like to try first. I was not asking if we should continue on THM or how long we should give it to work.
He got a very serious look on his face and asked if I really wanted to know what he thought. And of course, I did.
First he asked how I saw this plan playing out long term. Briefly, my response was this will be an ongoing thing. We'll find the foods we like on this plan and center our eating around that. He was OK with that but then asked what was my plan if this didn't work.
I was stunned by that question. He's lost weight. I'm still up 6 pounds from January 1. I didn't think he was concerned about this not working. I told him very honestly, that I did not know and that I had been struggling with that very concern.
His idea is to quit trying any sort of plan of any type. Nothing. No rules, just eat. I don't blame him for that. I've drug him through a lot of weight loss plans during the course of our marriage. However, that scares me to death. Not following a plan is what got me here to begin with.
His opinion is different. He thinks I know intuitively what and how much to eat. And when I put myself in a box by trying some new plan, I always push the edges. I'm always trying to see just how much I can eat and still lose weight. His observation is that my brain kicks in to survival mode as if a new eating plan equals starvation and instinct takes over. Somehow I manage to sabotage myself without even realizing it. He's probably right. He is a smart man and he's lived with me a long time now.
We agreed to stay on THM, but to back off on the special foods. We didn't give ourselves a time frame or set a goal for x number of pounds to come off. We are both ready to just live and not have our lives revolve around food. I can do that. I can prepare meals that are either low carb or low fat without all the extra things like xanthan gum and the like. We are not quitting THM, just all of the extra stuff. (Anyone not doing the plan is probably confused right now, sorry!) We are going back to real food, real meals and no drama.
I want to stress that this was a very loving, uplifting conversation. There was no anger on his part, only pain for me and my struggles. He actually said as he has many, many times before, that he likes my body just the way it is.
There are several times I have to step back and listen to my husband, too. I am either too emotionally connected with my eating or too concerned with it to really notice what I'm doing. Other than the Basic Sandwich Buns, I have to say I am less than impressed with THM breads. I. Love. Bread. LOL You can most definitely still do THM style eating and not have a million convenience foods. I have some glucommannan (sp?) that I bought back in December and use very minimally, mostly just a pinch with my crepes and a pinch in my Basic Sandwich Buns. Other than that, it sits there because I HATED the THM chocolate pudding. Blech! Others love it. My hubby has also been a good sport with THM, but I think it's because I cook a main food we can all enjoy, a side we can all enjoy, and then I either let them have real bread or an extra side they can have that I can't but it doesn't bother me not to have. I hope that sentence made sense. Lol No matter WHAT you choose, I wish you only success!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for understanding, Staci. I think I'd let that fear that freaked me out earlier push me back in to the rigidity of an all or nothing eating plan like hcg. I'm glad the hubs was there to pull me back to sanity!
DeleteI just realized I said convenience foods. I meant specialty foods. ;)
DeleteI agree with 65md you KNOW exactly what to do but that fear kicks in and that feeling of not deserving (SOOOO been there done that!) just live with it and see what happens and ENJOY the journey!
ReplyDeleteYay for him! Good idea. I think we all know instinctively what we should and should not eat. We just don't listen to our bodies. I watch my oldest eat. AMAZING. He eats when he is hungry. He stops when he is full. He eats what he wants but because he is not necessarily into veggies, he makes himself try them because he KNOWS they are good for him. He recently discovered he likes Caesar salads because he was willing to try something new. Oh to be like that!
ReplyDeleteI am anxious to hear how things progress. Good Luck!
Jan
Hi - I just stumbled upon your blog. I, too, felt compelled to follow a "plan" for years - all to no avail. Finally, I decided to listen to my body and to figure it out what *I* needed to do. Since I've done that, I've had great success and I've gotten rid of a lot of the noise surrounding weight and food.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck in your endeavors!
Thanks for the encouragement.
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