Saturday Scale Says

This morning the reading on the scale was 175.6 that is a loss of 3.6 for the week.  Not bad at all, but at the risk of sounding like a whiner, it should have been better.


With hcg, my average weight loss has been 0.75 lbs per day for the six weeks of 'therapy'.  For the week my loss should have been 5.25 lbs, if I had maintained that pace.  I don't think I would have been quite as concerned if the last two days I hadn't posted a small gain both days.  That should not happen at all.  A gain almost always indicates an error in eating somewhere.  I know that hasn't happened, so I'm left wondering why.

As I began to contemplate, I remembered how I spent most of my 30's at about 175-177 pounds.  I began to wonder if my body decided that it liked this weight and was going to fight to stay there as hard as I fought to move down.  Probably.

I also began to remember how I felt then.  I felt like a fat cow, and helpless to do anything about it.  Of course, that weight is too heavy for me, but I was not the huge blob, I perceived myself to be.  Then I began to realize that I never really acknowledged how big a truly was at 254.4.  I knew I was a fat cow and felt helpless to do anything about it.  But I think my mental image of myself was largely the same at both weights.

I've done a lot of deep thinking about denial and delusions with regard to my body image. Unfortunately, I have yet to come to any grand conclusions, other than I have a bad case of it.  What I know for sure is that I need to lose 30 pounds to get to a reasonable weight.  I know that I have not strayed from the very strict eating plan I'm on now, and I have not missed a workout session.  I also know that if I keep doing those things that the weight will follow.  It is hard to really 'know' that though.

Just to be absolutely certain there were no errors on my part with the hcg plan, I dug out all of the original documentation I got with the plan nearly two years ago now.  I found a section on faulty dieting, and discovered that did not apply to me, so I kept digging.  Eventually, I found a section on plateaus.  This did apply to me.  Apparently in some instances, when individuals get to a weight where they spent a lot of years, this happens.  The procedure is to just keep on doing the plan, and it should break within, get this, TWO WEEKS!


Knowing that could happen made me feel better, but knowing that this could go on for two weeks was disconcerting.  It is going to be hard to maintain the stringent program and not see the scales respond.  The next several days will be a real test of my delayed gratification system.  This could be interesting...