Decisions, Decisions

After much soul searching, introspection and discussion, I have reached a decision - I think.  My plan as of now it to stick with the hcg for the next two weeks as originally planned and then move in to the 21 day transition/stabilization plan.  Realistically, I can only expect to lose 5 or 6 more pounds at the very most during my last two weeks.  I'm trying to prepare myself mentally for about half that much.  Of course during the transition time the weight should remain stable.  So whatever I lose in the next two weeks will be it.

J-boy and I agree that surgery is going to be necessary to remove some excess skin and fine tune a little bit in areas dieting won't touch.  We really have no idea how many pounds that will be.  But I'm not counting on too many.  I don't have the kind of apron that I see being removed on TV.  I want to be realistic and not set myself up for disappointment.

I promised myself at the beginning that I would not get hung up on the numbers on the scale.  This is my opportunity to prove it.  This is hard for me.  This feels like a cop-out, like I'm giving up.  I know for sure I'm not a failure.  I'm totally committed to keeping the weigh off this time.  It is time to reclaim my life.  It is time to put this piece behind me and move forward a healthier, fitter person than I was two years ago.  It is time for me to remove food & exercise from the center of my life.

I'm not quitting, I'm moving on to the next step.  It is a step that I always knew would come, but I thought it would come with a magic number on the scale.  I need to recognize that I am not defined by the number on the scale.  I get tons of compliments on how I look now.  The lady from church that told me I'd look old, saw me yesterday and exclaimed that I still had not aged!!  Honestly, it isn't even about how I look although I'm glad to look better; it is about being healthy.  I've done that.  Of course, I'll check with my doctor to confirm that, too.