Discouragement is still trying to creep in to my mind. I am trying to battle it back as best I can. I know what is going on. I know why discouragement is crouching at the door. It is me. It is my expectations.
I really, really felt like at the beginning of P90X, just 2 1/2 short weeks ago, that I had reasonable expectations. They aren't being met and now I'm losing enthusiasm for the hour long workouts.
I see improvement with my abilities to perform the workout and that is great, but it is also very nebulous and difficult to measure. I fear that I will become complacent about 'showing improvement' rather than making real progress. Whatever that is.
There are two concrete ways to show success in my estimation, the scales and the measuring tape. I weigh every day. It is a form of control that I need. Generally, the number does little to make me feel like a good person or a bad person. It helps me spot trends and make corrections before getting to far afield.
Sadly, the scales are not giving me the results I expected. In nearly three weeks I have lost a whooping 3 pounds and that was the first week. I knew that the first week I'd have a large loss and it would taper off as time progressed. I did not expect it to stall completely!
I know the old adage about building muscle and I believe that I am. Again that is hard to measure. At the same time, if I were building muscle which weighs more that fat, causing the scales to stall, wouldn't I be seeing it in my measurements? In fact, I don't think I would have to be measuring at all, my clothes should be telling the story. They aren't. My blue jeans are as tight as ever.
Now with the season change, I'm looking at some adorable cold weather clothes that I bought at the end of the season last year when I was 40 pounds lighter. Ain't no way those are working now! I refuse to buy new clothes in this current size.
Now it is time to take my own advice. Stick to it and don't worry about the scales. No one ever said this would be easy. I don't mind the hard work, and I'm actually enjoying the way I'm eating. I just don't want to get discouraged. That is the hardest thing for me to overcome.
I Need To
2 weeks ago