Total Weight Loss

Monday, October 29, 2012

Monday Mileage, Measurements and Meltdown

As of today, I have 771 miles towards the 1000 mile challenge for the year.  I think by the end of the year I'll have well over 900 but maybe not 1000.  I'll keep the challenge going for myself until I hit 1000, maybe in January.  None of my colleagues appear to be on track to get the full 1000 in either.  I'm taking some comfort in that.  I know that we all gave it our best shot.  We knew from the beginning that it would be tough.  That's why it was a challenge.

Yesterday marked the end of the first four weeks of P90X.  I have lost  2 pounds and 2.25 inches.  I'm disappointed to say the least.  It started out well.  After 10 days I had lost 5 pounds.  Then on day 11, I had a bit of an uptick.  I knew the initial rate of loss was not sustainable, so I didn't get concerned about a small change.  What I did not anticipate was the continued yo-yoing and then the sudden two pound gain over the weekend.  That continues to be distressing to me.  I'm doing my best to hang in there and keep doing what I know to be right but to be honest it is just plain hard.

As I was getting dressed for church yesterday, I got out a top I hadn't worn in quite some time.  We're having a bit of a cold snap so I got something more suitable for the cooler temps. When I put it on, it was snug.  That was just the last straw for me.  Even though it wasn't really too little, it had not been that tight on me last time I wore it.  I jerked the top off and flung it on the chair, and burst into tears.  I'm talking making noise sobbing.

Of course 65MD was in the room and did his best to console me.  Somehow that made the whole thing worse.  I was furious with myself for allowing such a horrible regain and then embarrassed by my temper tantrum.  This was a fit that any three year old would have envied.  Then there was 65MD, all calm and steady telling me that everything was OK, telling me that it didn't matter if that blouse was tight, telling me that no one cared what the number on the scales said.  It didn't matter to me then.  All that mattered was that I had no control over my body.

I controlled everything I could.  I controlled the eating and the exercise, but I could not control how my body responded.  I could not control the scale or the tape measure and that just made me mad.  That ire gushed out of me in a horrid rush.

I'm still not happy about how my body is responding, but I'm over (for now) the fury.  I feel drained and empty now.  But, I stayed in charge of my eating yesterday, even at our Fall Fest surrounded by candy, cotton candy, popcorn, hot dogs, etc.  I am continuing to forge ahead eating and exercising.  Once day, eventually, I'll have better news to report.

Here is the only shot where I can see any difference at all.

I could be fooling myself but the top picture is 'before' and it seems like my belly isn't quite as big in the one below.  I welcome any comments, just don't be mean.  My fragile esteem can't take that right now.
 

14 comments:

  1. Keep going. You'll find what works. I know I've been where you are now. It's not fun. Keep eating clean.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Putting on clothes that used to fit nicely and now don't is the pits! I think we've all been there, done that. And our poor husbands. They try to make things better and we hate them for it. LOL I'm so sorry. But you HAVE to be stronger than you were 4 weeks ago. You just have to be! Can you feel it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Staci,
      I do think I feel stronger.
      Lori

      Delete
  3. I see a difference in your progress pic, definate muscle tone. Sorry about the top not fitting :(. It will fit soon!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey I can def see some muscle definition or something! And yes, it's visibly smaller. Keep that top in your closet! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. you hang in there and kep goin darlin, eventually you'll see the difference, i know i can dafinatelt tell the stomach is smaller and more muscular in the second pic, and remember no matter what you are BEAUTIFUL! after all you ARE a GODDESS! xoxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  6. I see progress! Look at those abs!

    You should be proud of sticking with your plan and not falling off the wagon.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I can see a difference in the two pictures for sure. You've got some muscle definition happening in the second one. Hand in there! Things will start shaping up (pardon the pun) soon and you'll see your results better!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can see a difference in the two pictures for sure. You've got some muscle definition happening in the second one. Hand in there! Things will start shaping up (pardon the pun) soon and you'll see your results better!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I wasn't losing & I was frustrated earlier this year - I was eating really well & working out consistently. Either I read on someone's blog or my dr told me that it can take up to 6 weeks for a new program to be effective. It seemed to be true for me.
    Stick with it!

    I also began intermittant fasting move it along - I think that helped too.

    Just fyi - I just turned 51 & have lost about 60 pounds since mid February.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Karen. I needed to know that little bit of truth. It has only been four weeks. Maybe in a couple more weeks, I'll see more tangible results.
      Lori

      Delete
  10. Keep on going, Lori. You're working hard and it is making a difference. Sounds like your hubs is a winner. Be grateful for such good support. And good going on your mileage. I'm betting you can reach your goal. I've passed mine, easier to rack up the miles with the biking added in. I wish I'd taked my pedometer to France. I really walked my little feet off!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Keep on going, Lori. You're working hard and it is making a difference. Sounds like your hubs is a winner. Be grateful for such good support. And good going on your mileage. I'm betting you can reach your goal. I've passed mine, easier to rack up the miles with the biking added in. I wish I'd taked my pedometer to France. I really walked my little feet off!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yup, definitely some nice muscle definition going on with that tummy. :) Keep it up. Even if the scale and the clothes aren't being supportive of you right now, you LOOK different. I'd love to have abs like that!

    ReplyDelete