Total Weight Loss

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Day One

So, remember how I said that I was excited that J-boy was going to diet with me this week?  Hmm?  Yes??  Well...never mind!  I didn't mean it.
Yesterday was day one which is soup (or not) and fruit.  It was a great and glorious day for me.  I munched on icy cold watermelon, juicy, sweet pineapple, Rainier (white) cherries, and Bing (red) cherries all day long.  YUM!!  It was all I had imagined it to be.  Then I got home. 
The minute I walked in the door:
J-boy:  "Hey, you want to go to Cinco's tonight?"  (only my favorite Mexican restaurant)
me:  "Oh NO!  You aren't starting that!"
J-boy:  laughing "Just kidding."
J-boy & me - laughter
Very soon, thereafter:
J-boy ; "Can we have grape juice?"
me:  "No, I don't think so."
J-boy:  "Are you sure?  Grape juice is good for you.  It is made from grapes."
me:  "I'm pretty sure the list said cranberry juice.  We have some.  Why don't you get a glass of that?"
J-boy:  "I don't like cranberry juice.  I'm just going to drink some grape juice."
me: "Whatever."
Not much later:
J-boy:  "Did you know there was cake in the refrigerator?"
me:  "Yes."
J-boy:  "We can't have cake can we?"  (Let me point out at this juncture that I had told him to eat the cake or otherwise dispose of it over the weekend.)
me: "Nope.  Do you want me to throw it away?"  I was trying to be compassionate because I know how food starts talking the minute it is taboo.
J-boy:  "NO!"  with a bit of fear in his voice
me:  "Then you're just going to have to be strong.  Cake is not an option."
Soon thereafter:
J-boy:  "Can we have tea?"
me:  "Yes, but only unsweet."
J-boy:  "Well, if we can't have sweet tea, what can we drink?"
me:  "I feel your pain.  I've been struggling with that too.  Remember how I decided to give up artificial sweeteners?"
J-boy:  "Well, I'm having sweet tea anyway."
me:  "OK"
After a few minutes passed:
J-boy:  "So, the only thing we can eat today is fruit?"
me:  "Yes, and your soup."
J-boy:  "Does that mean no croutons in my soup?"
me:  beginning to lose my patience, opening the refrigerator  "See, what is in this drawer?"  pointing to the fruit "This is all you can have today."
J-boy:  "I like croutons in my soup."
me:  handing him the list of allowed foods  "Remember this?  This is our eating plan for the week."
J-boy:  "OK, but I don't like it."
me:  "I know this is hard.  Just think, you've almost made it through the first day.  Only 4 more to go.  You can do that."
J-boy:  intelligible muttering
After scanning the list:
J-boy:  "We get to eat baked potatoes tomorrow!"
me:  "Yes, that is something to look forward to."
J-boy:  "Do we get butter & sour cream?"
me:  pulling out large clumps of my own hair "Look at the list.  What does it say?"
J-boy:  "No bacon bits or cheese?"
me:  flailing myself on the floor and pounding my fists "Just eat, man, JUST EAT!!"
J-boy:  "What's wrong, sweetie?"
OK, so maybe I exaggerated just a wee bit, but we did have versions of every one of those conversations, and probably a few more that I have blocked from memory because it is just too painful to recall.  The man has never had a weight problem, and really only needs to lose about 20 lbs max.  He's developed a bit of a gut, and it is wise to get it under control now, before it becomes an issue.  He is a strong and intelligent man, so I was surprised by all his questions and concerns.  I had given him the food list, before he agreed to it.  Then all these questions, and complaints and wah, wah, wah!!!  I really was about to scream.


  1. Love this, gotta love 'em.

  2.! Always fun to watch! :) keep us posted on his progress!

  3. This is SO HILARIOUS!!! Reminds me of the first week I was dieting, I was hungry, grumpy, and headachy all in one and hubby kept telling me "Hey, I lost 5 pounds." then the next day, "hey, I lost 2 pounds!" then the end of the week he said "hey, I have lost ten pounds this week and I am not even doing what you're doing" I totally lost it. "I AM STARVING, I HAVE A HEADACHE, I CAN'T EAT ANYTHING, I AM DYING HERE SO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. I am happy that you're losing too, but I am eating like NOTHING and I just can't listen to you when you eat what you want all day then come home, eat my diet food, and lose more weight than me!!!!!!!! So keep it to yourself."