Total Weight Loss

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I Stumbled & Fell

My doctor's appointment was at 11:00.  I didn't eat breakfast.  I often don't.  I know the prevailing wisdom about breakfast, but right now I'm not eating it.  Maybe once I get over getting off the artificial sweeteners I'll address that, but I can only do so much at once.  Back to my story...    I was probably finished with the visit with the doctor by 11:45, but then I had to get blood drawn that took another 20 minutes.  Then my allergist is in the same building so I stopped in for my weekly allergy shots.  The shots didn't take any time at all, but I have to wait 20 minutes afterwards to make sure that there was no reaction.  It was headed towards 1:00 by the time I got out of there.  I was famished.

I had been really wanting an Icee lately.  It is one of my favorite summer time treats.  Burger King sells Frozen Coke which is almost the same thing, and there is one very near the doctor's office.  I decided to have one for lunch.  The BK website says that they have 140 calories, so I thought that would be a nice trade off.  Sadly one cola did not quite fill the void.

Later in the afternoon, I began snooping around the office for a nice snack.  I don't keep anything in my desk anymore not even low carb snacks because I have trouble with absent minded eating.  I can pile in a lot of food while I'm working and not even notice.  There had been a shower for one of our co-workers that is getting married in August, and there were some left over strawberries.  Good choice!!  There was also some nice creamy fruit dip left.  Quite yummy on the strawberries.  Not a good choice.  I stopped at two.  That is nothing to applaud because even though there were strawberries left, they didn't look so good.  They were a little whitish at the top.

I was really quite hungry when I got home and J-boy wanted to go to Cinco's.  This is where I struggle the most.  He is so supportive and always asks if it will fit in my current eating plan.  I just hate saying no to him all the time.  It feels like I'm being a B****, so I agreed.  I knew that I could get fajitas and eat only the meat & veggies like a salad almost, no tortillas.  J-boy wanted fajitas too, so we got fajitas for two.  Great!  That way he eats all the stuff I don't and my frugal nature is spared.  I got a portion of the fajitas on my little plate and ate quite contentedly.  J-boy was sculpting his share using the 'sides' and we were both happy.  After we'd both eaten all we wanted there was still at least half of the meat part and a whole plate of extras virtually untouched.  Still no problem. We got a 'to go' box and J-boy has lunch for tomorrow.

When we got home J-boy went out to mow the grass, and I decided to catch up on facebook.  I was mentally preparing myself for the inevitable gain that I was   going to see tomorrow, and drinking lots of water with lemon, trying to abate some of the damage.  Suddenly, I had to have chocolate.  I had to have chocolate bad.  I knew that there had to be some chocolate in the house someplace and I was going to find it.  And find it, I did.  Deep in the recesses of the laundry room freezer I found it.  Tagalongs!  I had taken them out of the brightly colored box so that they would not taunt me every time I opened the freezer.  They were in a zipper bag and they were hard to see.  I grabbed four and ran back to the computer with Petey (the dog) on my heels.  I was not about to share and told him so.

I calmed down for a while, but then wanted more cookies.  I battled the urge for a while, drinking the lemon water.  I turned on the TV.  There was Jillian!  That didn't help.  In fact it sort of made me mad. Of course people can lose weight with her standing there yelling at them.  What about the rest of us, who have to battle with girl scout cookies on our own?!?!  I got four more cookies.  It occurred to me to eat the rest of the cookies to get them out of the house so they wouldn't tempt me anymore.  Luckily, I came to my senses before that happened.  I still didn't throw them away.  I just can't throw away perfectly good food.  I know it isn't actually food, but in my brain it is still wasteful.

I've had a bath now and have a better perspective.  I'm confessing on the blog to keep it real.  I lost the battle, but the war isn't over.  I'll post the damage in the morning.  I'm moving forward from here.


  1. Oh Lori, you stumbled, but you DIDN'T fall. Yes, it may show up on the scale temporarily, but in the whole scheme of things, 8 tag-a-longs is not even close to "falling." I've had a couple of tough days also, so believe me, you are not alone.

  2. Thanks, Sharon. I get in these all or nothing mindsets, so 8 tagalongs seems like a major binge to me. I needed your perspective.

  3. Hi Lori. I am new to your blog. Its great! I too am on a weight loss journey. Down 61 lbs and have 20-30 more to go! I look forward to following your blog! Please feel free to check out mine. Maybe we can provide each other with some encouragement along the way!