Doing Great!

I've been happily relishing family time, as a result I haven't posted as much as I like.  I want everyone to know that I am hale and hearty.  I have had a change of mindset that seems to have suddenly happened, although the truth is, it has taken a while.  That is I feel thin.  I feel like I'm at my goal weight.  It is almost as if these last few pounds are already gone.

I know, and have known all along, that my body perception is not an accurate reflection of reality.  Even though, my brain knows I still have quite a way to go to get to my goal weight, my heart is already there.  If I can keep it that way, I'll be fine.  I don't want to believe the not yet accurate perception of myself to the point that I stop trying to get to my goal weight.  At the same time, I said from day one that I was not going to get caught up in the numbers to the point that if I didn't reach a magic number on the scale that I'd consider myself a failure.  I think I've gotten there!

It is a delicate balance to be sure.  I'm going to have to remain diligent, especially during this time of overindulgence that the holidays bring.  I feel good.  I feel like I can do it. 

I think the tipping point came during the shopping experience I described in my last post.  Seeing myself in the mirror in only my bra from the waist up was not/is not the way I generally see myself.  I am either wearing a bathrobe or clothes when I see myself in the mirror the vast majority of the time.  The only other time I see myself in the mirror, I am completely naked before a bath or shower.  Believe me, I avoid that!  When that happens,  seeing myself totally nude, I only see the belly flab skin that hangs down now.  At the store, that was covered. 

At the store, I saw the best parts of myself.  Now, that image is burned in my brain.  Now, I am consciously, purposefully remembering that image.  This isn't an ego thing, or a conceit thing.  It is a very pleasant, happy reality.  I need that.  I need to replace those negative body images with positive, and thankfully real, ones. 

I think this is key.  I think this is the missing link for which I have searched for nearly three years now.  I believe things like this happen when they are supposed to.  I don't lament the time as lost.  There were other important lessons I was learning.  At this time, this is my lesson.  I am learning.  I am happy to learn!