Eavesdropping & Delusions

This morning the scale read 178. That is a whooping 1.2 lb loss for the day. Needless to say, I'm happy about that. I'm making good progress towards my goals -

• Goal 1, 173.4 by October 26, only 4.6 lbs to go or .25 lbs per day. When I get there, I'm getting a pedicure.
• Goal 2, 165, by November 20, only 13 lbs to go or .3 lbs per day. When I get there, I'm getting new shoes.
• Goal 3, 154.4, by December 31, only 23.6 lbs to go or .28 lbs per day. When I get there, I'm giving myself a spa day. That will be 100 lbs gone.
• Goal 4, 145, by January 31, only 33 lbs to go or .28 lbs per day. When I get there, I'll go on a major clothes shopping spree.

Now, for the good part! We have several receptionists that job share in our office. They are all graduate students working on their degrees and working part time here. They are all cute and trim like most people are at that age. When I started this whole thing, rather than picking a number on the scale I tried to look at the bodies around me and think I'd like to get to her size. Our full time receptionist and one of the part-timers were ones I had selected. So, when I over heard a conversation between part timer A and part timer B (who was one of the good bodies I thought I'd like), my ears perked up.

Part timer A is a tall, lean young lady.  She's probably 5'8" and wears heels that makes her much taller.  She's a real fashionista.  I've gone to her plenty of times for fashion tips.  I knew I'd never get to her size no matter how hard I tried. 

Part timer B is a little shorter than Part timer A.  She's healthy & fit and no where near fat. She's an outdoorsy type. She runs and does triathlete stuff. She is careful about her eating, but not fanatical. I've gone to her for fitness tips.
Part timer A: "I have got to do something about my weight. I've gotten all the way up to..." I heard the numbers one six. I thought surely she meant 116, not 160.
Part timer B: "I've got you beat."
Part timer A, thinking Part timer B had misunderstood stated her weight more clearly: "I'm all the way up to 163."
Part timer B: "Like I said, I got you beat. I've cracked the 170's!"

I could have been knocked over with a feather at that point. Here was one of the bodies, I'd envied and thought I'd be happy when I got to her size and I'm virtually there! I've done a lot of contemplating since hearing that. I know she is much more fit. She has more muscle mass and that definitely ways more. On the other hand, I still think of myself as fat. I wonder what someone seeing me for the first time would think. Would they think I'm a nice size, I could lose a few pounds or that I need to go to the nearest weight loss clinic? I still think they're seeing the third option, but maybe it is closer to the second one and my mind just hasn't a caught up.

This is a strange and wonderful journey.