I used to worry that the only reason I did hcg was for those two days. I would plan for those days. I would go to the store and lay in supplies like folks do before a snow prediction in these parts. I'd warn 65MD so as not to scare him by the consumption of mass quantities of food. For two days, I'd spend my day thinking of just what I wanted and then go get it. Life was good before the reality set in.
This time not so much. This time my thoughts were more along the lines of "Do I have to?" It isn't that I'm a saint. It is because I am absolutely sick and tired of losing these same pounds over and over again. This is it!!! I also think the synapse in my brain is complete regarding over eating & eating the wrong food and feeling bad. I just don't like it. I don't like feeling stuffed and bloated. I almost feel achy and flu-like when I really pig out. I don' want to feel that way either.
As strange as it sounds, I'm learning to
This time I spent a lot of time contemplating just what to do. I want the hcg to have the maximum effectiveness, so being completely sated is necessary. As I considered what I thought would taste good. Most I dismissed. Most I thought things like the last time I had that, it wasn't as good as I remembered, or it just wasn't worth the regain or bloat.
As I said, I am not a saint there were three things that continually made the cut as I considered how to spent the first 48 hours. The first and hardest thing to deal with was what to drink. I wanted Icees, Coke, sweet tea, and just about any other cold sugary drink that came to mind. I decided to go ahead and indulge. While the calories will remain, they really won't create as much of that heavy feeling in my belly. The other two were ice cream and something decadent made by me. Because what I make is really the only cake, pie, cookie, etc worth eating. Perhaps I should say homemade, by someone that knows what their doing. That doesn't sound quite so arrogant.
The ice cream thing was easily solved. I just went to the store for a single serve container of a high end premium ice cream. I'm not wasting my calories, or money for that matter. For the homemade treat, things worked out as well. There are two youth events at church in the coming days for which several of us have been asked to supply dessert. I am only too happy to provide. So, I'm making cookie dough this afternoon. I'll have some nibbles and bake a few cookies. The rest of the dough will go in to the freezer until it is time to actually bake the cookies.
For my meals, I'll keep eating as usual, except not weighing every bite. That is the most wearying part of this whole process for me.
I really do think this is a sign of growth. I feel like I can eat the way I have for the last three weeks (low carb) on a day to day basis when I get to my goal weight. Perhaps maybe a bit more volume, but basically the same real foods prepared by me. On birthdays, holidays or various other special occasions veer from that path, with a slice of cake or other special indulgence. It seems doable now. It seems sane and reasonable. Dare I say, it seems normal.
Right now the task is to get to that point.
Evening Update: I made the cookie dough for the youth group and it is safely wrapped awaiting baking later this week. While I was happy to make the dough for the kids, I would not have done it just for me. It would have been too much trouble. In fact, a couple of times, I had to remind myself I was doing this for a nibble here & there. I did not bake any for an extra indulgence. Hmmm...